[Sam69]

Moved into a third floor walk-up the other day. It's a nice place, but I can tell it's going to be an uphill climb.

I went to the sign store the other day but all they had were left-hand turn signs. I didn't buy one because I knew deep down it just wouldn't be right.

[Sam69]

I went to the sign store the other day but all they had were left-hand turn signs. I didn't buy one because I knew deep down it just wouldn't be right.

Groan...

I love it.

[vile8r]

Had to stop listening to my Black Sabbath records. I have nothing wrong with fairies wearing boots, but all that sweetleaf made me paranoid.

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

[Rachel_Thornton]

I was in a garden centre this morning and thought I saw Michael J. Fox. However I could be mistaken, he had his back to the fuchsia's.

If A is for Apple and B is for banana what is C for? Plastic explosives.

[vile8r]

If U are tired why don't you lie down after T ? 

We need someone to clean Windows said Bill Gates, I got the Job with my Masters in IT, I was handed a bucket and and a ladder

My honey farmer friend has a thing for big butts. I suppose Booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

[vile8r]

A pickle was bragging to the other food in the fridge. "Yeah, around here I'm kind of a big dill."

I've been trying to master the "Hokey Pokey", I could go in and out but lately I've managed to turn myself around!

[vile8r]

A numerator and a denominator walk into a bar.....ahhh forget it! Only a fraction of people would find this funny.

Doc says to the patient, "You have the body of a twenty-year-old, but you should return it. You're stretching it completely out of shape."

[Rachel_Thornton]

I wish I could get paid to sleep, talk about a dream job.