Wasn't sure where this goes exactly and it probably won't be the most erotic thing on the boards but just a bizarre little thing that demanded being written down. Enjoy!
43:17
2:51 PM
"Thank you, Father." said the young Patricia Adams, leaving the confessional booth feeling refreshed and guilt-free.
"Go in Peace child." replies the Revenrend Jonathon Grams. He always found it a little spiritually pleasing that a beautiful young woman like Ms. Adams still looked for spritual guidance even in this day and age. Saying a quiet prayer of thanks, he prepared himself for the next confessor.
"Hey, Padre." a young man says, sliding in immediately- accompanied by the cocking of a revolver. The screen blurred his view, but whoever was in the other booth was tall, medium build, and was pointing a gun at him. The pang of fear shoots up his spine, but somewhere in his mind a voice of reason tells him he's more likely to survive if he stays calm.
"Young man, this is a house of god," he tries to say in an authoritative tone. "bringing a loaded weapon into the confessional. . ."
"Relax padre, just making sure I have your attention. I don't plan to use it if you keep it down and answer a few questions." the young man replies in a voice of utter confidence.
"A few questions?"
"Well, they're kind of philosophical in nature, figured you'd have something interesting to say."
"Such as?"
"Okay, what happens when a sin is undone by time travel?"
"Pardon?"
"I commit a sin, I then go back in time and make sure I never commit the sin in the first place. How would god feel about that?"
"I imagine God exists above time, and as such would still consider it a sin- but what do you mean with all this 'time travel' non-sense?"
"You really want to know? Hell, why not? I did it, Padre."
"You did what?"
"I built a time machine. Well, kind of."
"But I thought that was impossible."
"Check your physics, now the official position is 'extremely hard but possible with sufficent space travel technology'. Go even further into the theoretical stuff and time travel can be done if you're clever enough."
"And you're clever enough, I assume."
"I understand your skeptism. I got kicked out of my doctorial program because they thought I was crazy, but I have made a devise that is, in effect, a time machine."
"Alright, how?"
"The numbers would go over your head, but I think I can try some analogies. You've heard of string theory?"
"Vaguely."
"Short version, they're even smaller then quarks. What we preceive as matter, energy, forces and possibly even Space and Time are actully by-products of the hyperdimensional vibrations of these strings."
"And these have to do with time travel."
"Well, yes. It's not accepted science yet, but I'm wearing a device that looks like one of those wrist-watch-slash-heart-moniter things. I press a button on the watch or my heart stops beating and it sends a signal to a device in my garage about the size of 4 refrigerators. The device sends back some carefully calibrated sting-vibrational frequencies and lo and behold, time travel."
"You actually can travel back and forth through time?"
"Well, within limits. I can't take anything with me but memories, I'll always be wherever and however I was the first time around, and thanks to the energy requirements I can only go backwards and even then no more then 43 minutes and 17 seconds."
"I see. So you're saying you've sinned before- but then went back in time 43 minutes. . ."
"And 17 seconds."
"And 17 seconds to undo what you did. Do you feel remorse child?"
"Remorse? Think about it Padre. I'm completely free! I can do anything I want as long as it takes less then 43 minutes and 17 seconds! Nothing even resembling a consequence! That young chick that just walked out for example."
"Ms. Adams? What did you do!?!"
"That's just it Padre, from the prospective of you, her, and the rest of the world, nothing. Maybe a mind-reader would sense some dirty thoughts but that's it! In your timeline and in her timeline she's a virgin, but in my personal timeline I've raped her nine times. Twice in this booth over your corpse no less."
"Oh god."
"What? Oh, nothing personal Padre. I've had that nun lighting candles in the back a couple times too."
"OH GOD!"
"I said be quiet Padre."
"Why are you even here? You feel no remorse! You're just. . .just. . ."
"Bragging? You're damn right I am. In your timeline I've been a model citizen who never has to work thank's to a couple lucky guesses on the stock market. In mine I've gone on mall shooting sprees, tortured ex-bosses to death, dragged annoying kids to gas stations to set them on fire, and the pussy! You wouldn't believe that amounts of grade-A pussy I've had. Granted it's really hard to get into someone's pants within 43 minutes and 17 seconds of meeting them so it's almost always been rape, but with the press of a button none of it has ever happened so why not? Thanks padre, I was just curious about what God would think about it."
"So what are you planning to do?"
"Well, since you yelled the one time, I'm going to have to kill you, but don't worry. I'll press my little button. After that I'm pretty sure Ms. Adams had an orgasm last time I raped her, so I was thinking if I keep at it maybe I'll get a couple more. Seeya next time Padre!"
The sounds of gunshots then resound through the church. . .
2:51 PM
"Thank you, Father." said the young Patricia Adams, leaving the confessional booth feeling refreshed and guilt-free.
"Go in Peace child." replies the Revenrend Jonathon Grams. He always found it a little spiritually pleasing that a beautiful young woman like Ms. Adams still looked for spritual guidance even in this day and age. Saying a quiet prayer of thanks, he prepared himself for the next confessor.
