Author Topic: Carhamgrater  (Read 286 times)

Offline Grumpy

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2021, 03:05:05 PM »
Nooooo! Not Chg! :(

I haven't been real active here as of late. Did something happen, or was he simply burnt out? I absolutely get the latter. The guy was the life force of RU in so many ways, and when you don't get much backup, it must feel like such an uphill struggle.

Offline Rachel_Thornton

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2021, 05:31:26 PM »
I feel that I should add my thoughts to this as I am going to miss Graham deeply. When I first joined a few years ago and was lost in the world of RU he was the first person to talk to me and made me feel welcome. There was never any pressure from him, there was no creepy vibe and wanting to just talk sex with me. He just wanted to be my friend and it made me happy. He inspired me to write and always had time for me and everyone else. He was always there to inspire and encourage newbies and try to bring them into the family as it were and make the site better and there were times in the past when this site was like a family, encouraging each other and pushing one another to be the best we can be. I feel we have lost some of that spirit and there have been a variety of reasons and I'm not immune from not being as active and vocal as I have been but Graham continued to write. I dont think I've ever encountered anyone who could write something out of anything as he could and his stories will be missed as will his contributions to the Games Room and the music section as his knowledge of tv shows and music was incredible and always wanted us to bring him new things to appreciate.

He has mentioned that there were some who recently were making his time here unhappy and for those who have contributed to his departure I say shame on you. What was it that he did which made you feel such hatred towards another person? If things were said that offended you then just use the 'Ignore' button, its what its there for. Do not make someone feel they are unwelcome when they have contributed so much and you have probably contributed nothing to the overall goodness of the site and community at large.

Graham will be a loss to all of us here especially those who write stories that are not the usual 'quick stroke' tales and like to expand characters and explore deeper issues. I hope that he comes back even if just as a lurker and see's what we think of him and that he meant a lot more than he thought and that the voices of the few do not represent the voices of the many. The many who respected him, liked him and looked up to him as a friend and fellow writer.

My friend Graham Carter, you will be missed.

Offline Polaris

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2021, 06:34:55 PM »
As I am brand new here, my words are sure to carry much less weight, but as I was seemingly the last member to be welcomed by him, I feel an urge to say something.

I know the feeling of wanting to suddenly drop everything, cut off communication with peers and completely vanish, as that is pretty much what I did five years ago at ASSTR. Even choosing to reemerge now has taken a lot of courage and has been plagued with a lot of second guessing. Therefore, I feel honored that such a special person to the community could be counted among those who have reached out to me so far, and I wish him the best in wherever life may take him.

Offline Brek

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2021, 12:22:02 PM »
It sucks a lot, he was a huge voice for the community. We've had a lot of people who were big posters go off. It sounds like no one knows exactly what happened: I hope it wasn't a lack of appreciation for his stories (I get that throwing your work into the ether is tough), but I do agree that I should post more often if I like a story, even if my feedback is not going to be constructive (just "Man, that was incredibly hot") just so that people know it worked for me. Hopefully CMG has some good thing in his life that created a schedule conflict and he's mentally okay, but the deletion of his email is worrisome.

Offline LtBroccoli

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2021, 01:23:50 PM »
Let's try to live up what CMG meant around here.  We should each try to comment on at least one story each day.  It means a lot to the authors and builds a great atmosphere.  Graham went above and beyond to every writer here to encourage them.  Even if he didn't like your style or the content of the story, he would still write words of encouragement.

Graham, you ever come back, I'll try to send some Tim Horton's your way.  We'll try to make you proud.
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SheerHose33
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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2021, 08:09:03 AM »
Let's try to live up what CMG meant around here.  We should each try to comment on at least one story each day.  It means a lot to the authors and builds a great atmosphere.  Graham went above and beyond to every writer here to encourage them.  Even if he didn't like your style or the content of the story, he would still write words of encouragement.

Graham, you ever come back, I'll try to send some Tim Horton's your way.  We'll try to make you proud.

I agree, and I’ll do my best. At least then his departure won’t be in vain.

Offline Verbal13

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2021, 11:24:06 AM »
Carhamgrater has been driving life force, too underappreciated, and it is lame beyond belief he bounced. Apparently some punk ass silly people burnt him over petty lack of respect and kindness. Now a void ripped open without him.  A loss that cannot be replaced. 
Dude made more posts per day than anybody. Never talked shit, that I saw. 
The generosity and open friendly attitude which is sorely needed around here.  Willing to comment, and often.  99% of RU is lurkers who never give back. If ya dont write still can give back in the form of kudos.  All the writers know it is precious rare that somebody takes the time to respond, it doesn't take much to post a few lines but self-centered audience typically lack that consideration or empathy.I'm at a loss to express how much I'm drained of enthusiasm about RU.  When I joined RU I had no expectations but Graham had warmth that made it worthwhile. Ain't about skills writing so much as willingness to engage in a friendly way.  Nobody gonna step up to fill his shoes.  I'll dabble for awhile, who knows.
I might post a few stories but nobody will comment and that will be it.  Fuck fiction I guess. Well, so it goes.Sadness....
Verbal13

I absolutely agree with you. I’d be lucky to get three comments these days and that’s a success, I know Graham was feeling it and he liked to just write and write and put up everything at once but that was his style and no matter what he wrote hed always have time to connect and comment with works.

Many newbies including myself when I joined here were spurred on by the only comment in the thread and starting off that means a lot in fact it could be the male or break of being a writer here, as you do wonder or at least I do all the time when I write spin a moral compass and to see comments makes it worthwhile.

So the lesson I’m taking from this is every day or at least I will try as long as I can balance RL with here, intend to read and comment on three stories a day. I’ll try and be fair and not gravitate always to my friends and tastes. But I shall try, the site needs other writers to support other writers at least as we know the majority of readers won’t ever comment. Graham’s loss is a void that will never be filled but we can try out best to appreciate those who put it all out there and write, if there was no writers there would be no RU.
I wanted to chime in support for your idea/suggestion of trying to read and comment a little each day for different authors in different genres to encourage writers. Very true: "we can try out best to appreciate those who put it all out there and write, if there was no writers there would be no RU."  Other thing special about CMG was his support was CONSISTENT.  To me that is particularly special, as something I struggle with- inconsistency.

Nobody is perfect, we all are busy, involved with RL + distracted, but I aspire to spread time I normally spend writing trying to instead read fiction by others and issue COMMENTS.   As been said, at the start, feedback can make or break willingness to be an author.  Even later, all authors LOVE when people post responses- it fuels the process.   If we all try to step up, even a little, that will go a long way. I am somewhat sporadic by nature, engage where I can, but I'll attempt a sustained effort to support RU.   More than database of erotic fiction, RU has something like community; loose patchwork though it may be.

Spread the love.  Karma is straightforward & simple.

Verbal

Offline EnabranTain

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2021, 11:47:08 AM »
Taking the time to add comments of approval and encouragement would make this a much more welcoming place, absolutely.

At the same time, I would also encourage the writers here to remember that a lack of comments doesn’t equal disapproval or disrespect, and to not be too discouraged by that.

We are all otherwise used to world now where social media has some kind of “like” button, which gives us a sense of feedback on our output even when nobody comments. But RU, being an old school forum, doesn’t have such a feature, and the lack of that can make it feel like we’re speaking into the void, when we’re not.

I also remember when I first found RU and I was terrified that anyone might discover what I was reading. There is a lot of hesitation, I think, on the readers’ part to leave a comment because people are afraid to leave any digital proof of their presence on a forum specifically dealing with extreme and taboo subjects.

So let us encourage and support one another as often as we can, while also recognizing that there is an ocean of readership out there who will never comment, even though RU may be their favorite guilty pleasure.
No one bad is ever truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good.
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Offline Groucho

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2021, 01:32:06 PM »
I hope cmg is fine and will return soon. One of not too many persons, that made me stay in this board. Great personality, shame on those who made him leave

Offline SoftGameHunter

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2021, 10:54:28 PM »
I'm sure his spirit lives on here even now.
The rumors about me are scurrilous, depraved rantings of a sick mind, and I categorically deny any sense of falsehood attributed to them.

Offline HistBuff

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Re: Carhamgrater
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2021, 03:26:33 AM »
I'm inclined to think that he will eventually come back. After all, I've seen darklord leave and come back. Sometimes you get impulsive and then reconsider... It seems to be more of a male pattern; as Jessica pointed out, female users tend more to hibernate.

What I like of the other site I post stories on is that you simply can't delete your account; if you're fed up with something you hibernate and I think that makes a comeback more likely.

It may be a little bit too easy to delete one's account here. I'm not even sure that when you do so, there's a safety question asking "Are you really sure?" and I'm too scared to run the test (LOL). My own account deletion last spring was half willing, half accidental. I've come back here three weeks ago under a new name only days before cmg left.

I've exchanged a lot with him back when I was Bruiser7, especially since that I tend to write longer stories with more character development; when I got back, he immediately chimed in and it felt awesome to be a newbie with him once again!

My hunches that we'll welcome him back sooner than later!  ;D
Other stories from me: https://ravishu.com/forums/index.php?topic=49882.0 -- ENJOY!!!