Fatigue

I walk the same roads every day
No matter what it just goes the same way
Quick highs and long lows
It’s getting exhausting keeping that glow

People I’ve met, some I’ve needed
Some so bittersweet, some best avoided
Regrets, and loss , they sure take their toll
Sometimes I yearn for a Black Hole
To swallow me up and take me elsewhere
But that’s wishful thinking we’ve all been there
Even at thirty five it’s tiring to be alive
Trapped in a melody of worry  and fear
Though time has passed it still feels the same year

My father I long to see once more
Just a hug, a proper goodbye, though so sore
But no, that is life it’s really a  game
No winners, just emptiness always the same
I yearn for my bed, where I can rest my head

And forget it all and get out of the rut
I want this feature of life to be recut
My memories are stuck on repeat
Like a old box set to which I retreat

I’ve got scars that can’t be seen
I wish I could go back to being thirteen
And start afresh with what I know now
The answers to it all, when why and how!
But who gets that luxury, I’m not Marty McFly
All I have is this second who knows why

I feel I’m on a sinking ship that’s going down fast
No lifeboat in that icy water I won’t last
But deep down there is a tired insecure  girl  in the waves
It’s just peace and quiet that I crave
I have it all on the surface many will scoff
So just keep the chin up and shake it off

Sweet Jessica,


Suffering and Pain drip from every syllable you compose.....

It is almost too much to take in.....


Tony V.                 

It's words like these that should be screamed at people who claim to care about you! Words that can not be mistaken for a cry of HELP and UNDERSTANDING, All we can do here is sympathize and say how would help if there. If this is real then please seek help. The last thing we need to do is read of a light that passed on!

Thank you Graham and Tony.
It’s true I am feeling for quite some time now very blue! But when I feel down I channel my emotions into words and I can come up with stuff like this
Understanding is a word that’s needed and acted on more. I’m getting help and even posting this has made me feel better

Hugs and kisses to you both
Jess xxx

[Rachel_Thornton]

An incredibly powerful and painful poem to read that shows how sometimes we really should ask someone twice how they are feeling.
The words stay with you a long time after you finish reading and the use of prose here was executed extremely well.
Thank you for sharing these feelings and thoughts with us in this way and please continue to astound us with your words in this section which are among the very best.
Promised merit on the horizon

[spunkjunk]

When a hiker is tired, he should guess or throw off ballast.
A hamster wheel appears like a career ladder from the inside.
A part of your father dwells in you.
Rejoice together in the simple things as long as you live....

[EnabranTain]

Beautiful and haunting. It evokes the shared feelings we all know, yet also makes clear that this struggle is uniquely your own.

I hope you're feeling better Jess. I feel like you captured life and growing up so well, we seem to end up like collections of nicks and bruises sometimes. And as others have written, how you speak to your own distinctive scars. My humble merit offered and my light to you, however little I know that must mean.

[Seeker]

Incredible words from you again, emotions and questions drip like tears from every word. Thank you for sharing this and I'm glad getting it out is part of your healing. Our thought with you always. Sorry I didn't see this earlier, but grateful I have now.