Author Topic: Tinder gone wrong  (Read 2053 times)

Offline link.tom

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Tinder gone wrong
« on: December 08, 2020, 01:02:28 AM »
Warning: This is fantasy and is meant for an audience that is over 18.

This is my first attempt at writing a story, I am open to all criticisms.

It had been over a year since Laney had her first experience with another girl. It was her best friend Lena. After they kissed Lena wouldn't even look at her. They both came from very conservative families that would not approve and that was enough to keep her from trying anything else... until now.

 She finally turned 18 during her freshman year of college and she finally felt somewhat free from her parents grasps. She was told about a popular dating app called tinder and decided to give it a try. She was pleasantly surprised when she saw an option to match with other women. She immediately got a lot of matches from older woman who wanted somebody inexperienced, after all she was a beautiful 5' 2'' 95 lbs with some of the perkiest B cup breasts that you have ever seen.

She loved to show them off in push up bras and bikinis in her photos. They all tried to get her to go out with her promising a mature experience with drinks, but she was looking for something else. She wanted someone to explore with someone who was on the same level as her. Her mind began to drift off to Lena. Was she having the same thoughts? did she want to explore?

 She tried to call her, but her number had been disconnected. When she called her mom and asked, she said that she had talked to Lenas mother and she had ran away shortly after graduation and that they didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Maybe she had told them and was already out there discovering herself.

Laney was saddened by the thought of Lena not telling her. While crying herself to sleep she hears her phone chime. She recognizes the sound, its tinder. She was disgusted by the thought of another middle aged woman trying to hit on her, but she decided to look anyway... what did she have to lose.

She pulled herself out of bed and made her way over to her phone. When she saw the name she thought that she was was seeing things, but she wiped the tears from her eyes and saw that it was Lena. When she looked at the pictures it really was her, just as Laney remembered her, shoulder length black hair, piercing hazel eyes. She was petite just like Laney.

Laney messaged her immediately and Lena wanted to come pick her up. She agreed without even thinking about it. When she got into the car Lena looked more nervous than exited, but she brushed it off. As they started driving Lena started to get more nervous, so Laney decided to ask her what was going on. Lena just looked at her crying and said, "I'm so sorry".

 All the sudden an arm came from the backseat and wrapped around her neck, and the other and covered in a cloth went over her mouth and nose. The next thing she remembers is being woken up with a slap to the face.

 She opened her eyes and saw a large man covered in tattoos, standing behind him was Lena refusing to look in her direction. The man said, "My name is Felix and I believe you already know my whore Lena", he turns around and grabs lena by the neck and throws her to the floor. "I always love fresh meat, we will break you in tonight" "Oh and yeah, I forgot to mention...you belong to me now"

To Be Continued...
« Last Edit: December 08, 2020, 03:23:41 PM by link.tom »

carhamgrater
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Re: Tinder gone wrong
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2020, 10:44:50 AM »
Ah the newbie Mistake led to the dreaded "Wall of Words". makes it very hard to read as one sentence blends in with the others, Suggest modifying (click on the right ) and spacing this into paragraphs, From what I could read it was an interesting beginning!

Offline link.tom

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Re: Tinder gone wrong
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2020, 03:06:19 PM »
Thanks for the advice, I tried to break it up a little bit

carhamgrater
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Re: Tinder gone wrong
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2020, 03:32:36 PM »
And succeeded greatly that you have earned your first merit! love where this is going and can't wait to see more posted (properly!) as soon as possible!

Offline link.tom

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Re: Tinder gone wrong
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2020, 12:56:21 AM »
Thank you! I will hopefully be able to work on the story tomorrow, but if not a longer and much better 2nd chapter will be coming very soon!