[F0rc3dAna1Gir1]

Let's hear your best jokes.
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I was about to have sex with this woman, and she says to me, "make love to me like they do in the movies" So I stuck it in her ass, and came on her face. I guess we watch different movies!

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Why do girls wear flowered panties?

In memorium, of all the faces buried here.

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What do they call the useless piece attached to a penis?

The man

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What did one saggy breast say to the other?

We better get some support, or people will think we're nuts!

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Duct Tape: Turning Ahhhh to Mmmmm since 1943

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What's the difference between Oohhh and Aahhhh?

About 3 inches.

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house.

[Jakester the Collector]

Two friends were sitting at the bar having a beer. One of them turns to his friend and says "Look at those two old guys at the end of the bar getting drunk! That could be use some day." His buddy learns forward and looks down the bar and then says "You frickin' dumbass, that's a mirror!"

[Charchar19]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

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What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

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Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them

My husband asked me why don’t I ever tell him when I orgasm. I told him I don’t want to bother you at work!

[Polaris]

I'm scared of earwigs because when I was little, I used to think they'd crawl into my ears. It's the same reason I'm still scared of cockroaches.