Chapter 5: 4th of July (Mf, implied others, mostly story)
After the girls left, Bob smoked a bowl, drank a beer, and passed out in his living room. An old drinking buddy of his drew a line years ago about the difference between sleeping and passing out.
“If your boots are on, you passed out. If you took them off, you went to sleep.”
Bob awoke and his boots were still on. He put them on after the girls left so he could get a couple more things out of his truck. Or at least, that was the plan until he looked at his truck, looked at the distance, and said ‘screw it.’
Today, he was going to unload that truck and maybe even set up his bed. Right after a good, hearty breakfast of a beer and a bowl. Not only was it the breakfast of champions in trailer parks the world over, it was also the only stuff he brought with him from the truck last night. The rest of his food was still in the truck bed.
Just as Bob had cracked open a beer, something strange happened. There was a knock at the door. Two knocks. A third, and the door swung open, creaking on the hinges. Bob looked at the door, and there stood a man in 20’s with quaffed brown hair, a red polo shirt, jean shorts, tennis shoes, and a very punchable face.
“Fuck you want?” Bob stood, putting a little extra bass in his voice as he made his way to the door, beer bottle in hand. The dweeby looking guy shrank down a bit.
“I’m sorry about the door, I was just knocking. My name is Jacob, I’m from First Union Holy Trinity Church down in Harbor City and...” Bob cut him off.
“Get. To the point.”
“We’re having a 4th of July celebration at Camp Hiawatha today, and we’re inviting all of our neighbors at the lake to partake. We’ll have food and refreshments and fireworks after dark. We would ask that you keep your adult beverages here, there are a lot of kids running around.”
Bob looked at him, not sure if he wanted to whoop his ass or pants him. Maybe both.
“Really, my favorite part of the bible was Jesus turning water into wine. Would have been real fun to party with.”
“We’d love to have you over, if you can make the time.”
“What’d you say your name was?”
“Jacob. Jacob Daniels.” Jacob extended his hand for a shake.
Bob eyed him up and down again. He could kick his ass 6 ways from Sunday if he so desired, but now would not be a good time.
He put the beer in his left hand and grabbed Jacob’s hand with his right, crushing it as hard as he could. Jacob probably didn’t know hard work at all, while Bob was in construction. Bob shook Jacob’s hand while crushing it.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jacob. I will try to show up later on.” Bob held the grip a moment longer than needed, just to see Jacob squirm. As soon as he let go, Jacob stepped back and grabbed his hand in pain.
“Hope to see you later.” Jacob said through gritted teeth. Bob didn’t wait for Jacob to turn, as he closed the door on his face.
“I have got to get a fucking lock for this door.” Bob sat on the couch and had his breakfast.
The rest of the morning was uneventful. Bob unloaded the truck, set up his bed, loaded up the fridge, and took a quick shower. He had just gotten dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a t-shirt when the door to the cabin open.
“HEY MUTHA FUCKAS!!!”
Bob recognize the voice right away. It was Vinny, his best friend for the last ten years. With him were Chuckie, Paul, and Gary. His crew. They greeted each other, sharing pleasantries, calling each other gay and homo, normal guy shit.
Vinny was skinny as a rail and sneaky as a rat. He dressed like a lot of white kids that listened to gangsta rap back then, and his greasy mustache looked like that a teen would grow to try to look older. His mullet was the only thing betraying his real age. No one in high school had one, but a child of the 80’s did.
Chuckie looked like a grown ass man, but acted like a kid. It didn’t help that he was the youngest of the group at 19, but stood almost 6’4”. He was Vinny’s step brother, but became part of the crew years ago.
Paul and Gary were nearly inseparable. They worked together, lived together, even screwed the same bitches together. They were both about average height, with Paul being an inch taller and still having all of his hair. Gary was a little more muscular, but always wore a hat to hide his receding hairline.
The men chilled for a minute in Bob’s cabin, smoking a bowl and having a beer before heading to the lake. They discussed the plan of the day; go to the lake and get a bitch or two. If not, get fucked up. Either way, get fucked up.
Vinny parked over by the park entrance where most of the visitors parked. Bob’s directions were piss-poor at best but he at least got them to the lake. All their shit was still back at the car, about a mile away.
Bob drove Vinny over to his car, and Vinny followed him back, parking by the cabin. Before they went back inside, Bob pulled Vinny off to the side.
“Yo dude, I didn’t want to say this in front of the boys, but Camp Biblethumper’s having an open house or some shit today, and I wanted to go.”
Vinny gave Bob a WTF look. Bob continued.
“No, not like that, I ain’t going all Jesusy on this shit. I want to get some eyes on some mother fuckers.”
“What’s going on?” Vinny asked, as Bob leaned in closer, lowering his voice.
“I heard some shit. Just rumors at this point, but it was too fucked up to ignore, and the way she acted when she told me was just too fucked to be fake. Know what I’m saying?”
Vinny nodded.
“Who we keeping an eye on? What we looking for?”
“The Daniels family, the priest and all the ministers. Wouldn’t be surprised about the extended family being involved in some shit, too. As for what, I can’t tell you now but just keep some eyes on them. If one of those little dweebs steps outta line in the wrong place...”
“Got it. Something’s got you rattled, dude. You ain’t asked for anything like that since Creepy Kevin. Dis one dem situations?” Vinny asked.
“Maybe. Might even be worse. But it might also be bullshit, too. Just keep an eye out.”
Bob and Vinny went back in the cabin, where the rest of the crew were smoking up.
The crew went down to the lake and hung out with some of the other campers. They mingled, getting food and drinks from the partiers, even hopped on some jetskis and rode for a little bit. At some point, more people from the church came down and let the rest of the campers know about the ‘party’ at the camp.
‘Good’ Bob said to himself. ‘At least this wasn’t some ploy to nail him for fucking a couple campers.’ He watched as a few of the lake partiers came and went, most with plates of food but coming back for hard drinks.
The crew made their way over to Camp Hiawatha, and it was everything they expected it to be; pretentious, preachy, and lame as fuck. It felt straight out of a movie about cults. There were about a dozen men, all dressed just like Jacob, spread amongst the campers. The counselors were busy trying to reign in the younger campers, while most of the older ones were stuck working the food lines or information booths.
That’s where Bob found Angie. She was sitting at a booth with information on the church’s upcoming preschool program, bored out of her skull. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. With Angie at the booth was a smoking hot blonde girl who looked to be one of the other campers. They were both wearing the same outfit of blue shirts and gym shorts. While Angie had her curly brown hair pulled back, the blonde let it fall straight down to mid-back.
Bob and Vinny approached the booth.
“I’mma talk to the blonde.” Vinny quickened the pace, arriving at the booth a half step before Bob. As they got closer, Bob could see they both had to wear nametags. Angie’s said “Amy” while the blonde’s said “Natalie”. The blonde stood up, putting on that cheerful fakely-sincere smile that comes only from buying your own bullshit.
“Good day, and hello. So, who is looking on information for pre-schools?” The blonde said, scanning over the two men. She stood, holding a pamphlet in her hands.
“That’d be me. Well, my nephews anyway. I’m Vince.” Vinny reached out to shake the blonde’s hand. She grabbed it weakly.
“Hello, I’m Natalie, and this is Angie.” Natalie shook Vinny’s hand with the enthusiasm one would have for sticking their hand in raw sewage. Her smile brightened around the mouth, but not the eyes.
For her part, Angie rolled her eyes at Natalie’s show with Vinny. Bob stopped paying attention to Vinny try to spit game at a girl hawking sign-ups for a day care, and looked at Angie. They didn’t say anything aside form a quick “hi” and “hello.” They did talk with their eyes, using some unspoken language between them. Bob tilted his head to the side towards the woods, she nodded.
“Nat, I’m taking my break, I’ll be back in a bit.” Angie stood up, grabbing her purse.
“Okay, I’ll be here. Waiting for you to get back.” Natalie said that with the tone of passive-aggressiveness usually reserved for suburban housewives talking shit on their neighbors.
As Angie walked a couple steps, Bob started walking.
“Excuse me, which way’s the bathroom?”
“Follow me, I’m heading that way.” Angie motioned him to follow her. Bob turned to Vinny.
“I’ll catch up in a minute.” Bob let Angie get a few steps ahead, to keep a decent distance between them. He couldn’t hear what Natalie was specifically saying, but it was along the lines of Jesus, kids, sin, teaching lessons, penance, shit like that. For his part Vinny tried steering the conversation to Natalie, but she had no desire to talk to him about anything other than the preschool or church stuff.
Bob saw Angie make a turn out of sight towards a group of trees past some buildings, and he followed. She waved him on to follow her to the trees. Once there, he could see they were well hidden from any prying eyes.
As soon as he rounded the last tree, Angie grabbed him and kissed him with a deep, passionate kiss.
“I missed you.” She said, arms wrapped around his neck.
“I missed you, too.” Bob said, holding her around her waist.
“We don’t have long, I gotta get back in a few minutes and I still need to go to the bathroom.” Angie slipped off her shoes and shorts, sliding her panties down and off. She pulled her shirt up over her head, exposing her bra.
“You gonna take those pants off, or am I?” She asked Bob, shaking him out of his stupor. Immediately Bob undid his jeans and fished out his cock, already springing to life. Angie gripped his dick and stroked it until he was fully erect.
Once he was erect, she bent over facing away from him and guided his dick into her pussy. She was already wet.
“Oh, damn I missed that. You can cum inside, I can’t get knocked up this week.” Angie gripped onto the tree in front of her while Bob grabbed her hips and fucked into her for all he was worth. He reached one hand up and grabbed her tits, playing with them under her bra.
Angie started to moan, and he grabbed her hair and pulled her mouth back to hers, kissing her into silence. The angle definitely helped them both, as Angie moaned into Bob’s mouth as she came from the quick, rapid fucking from behind.
After she came, it didn’t take Bob much longer until he ejaculated inside of her. He stayed in this position for a moment, letting all of his shoot out inside of her. Once he was done, he let go and looked for something to clean themselves with. Since there were no towels, he settled for his socks. Bob was many things, but MacGyver was not one of them. He couldn’t fashion a shower head out of two acorns and some twigs.
The two lovers got dressed, as Bob launched his dirty socks even deeper into the woods. He lit a cigarette and let her have a few puffs off of it. They quickly kissed and started walking back to the camp when Vinny came traipsing over.
“Yo, where the fuck you go?” Vinny rounded the corner and saw Bob and that cute chick from the stand. “Oh, there you are.”
Angie jumped back, barely stifling a scream.
“It’s cool. Ang, this is my boy Vinny, he’s cool. Vinny, this is Angie.” Bob said to Angie, calming her down. He then gave her the rest of the cigarette while he lit up another one. She gave Vinny a once over.
“I don’t know, he was hitting on Thundercunt pretty hard back there.” Bob bust out laughing as Vinny sat there with jaw hung open.
“Thundercunt?” Bob asked between laughs.
“Yeah. She came in the first week, talking about how important she is because she’s the reverend’s daughter, then went REAL fucking hard on the Jesus saves bullshit, even threatened to pray for lightning and thunder to strike the non-believers in the camp. Stacy called her Thundercunt one day, and it stuck. Now, we sing that AC/DC song every time she’s around. Bitch thinks we’re devil worshipers because we like metal.” Angie told the story between drags on the cigarette.
“Wow. I don’t know, I didn’t think she was THAT bad.” Vinny replied in a stupor.
“How many times she offer to save your soul while standing there? 5, 10 times?”
“Yeah, that seemed a little weird.” Vinny leaned back against a tree, pulling out his own smokes and lighting one.
“If she can’t find a way to get something from you, you don’t mean shit to her. She treats her own sister like a toy, and the less said about her cousins the better. She’s got a long, bright future in the church by being a hypocritical cunt.”
“Why don’t you tell us how you really feel?” Bob interjected, causing Angie to laugh and smile.
“I gotta get going. You staying up this whole weekend?” Angie asked Bob as she put out her smoke.
“Maybe. Might be heading down before Friday, but we’ll see. I’ll definitely be up next Thursday though. And the one after that.”
“Good, I wanna try something I heard about when I see you next time. It’s a surprise.” With that, Angie hugged Bob and kissed him. Vinny sat there, confused then amazed.
“Nice meeting you Vinny. Until later.” She gave Vinny a quick hug, then left back to the camp. Bob and Vinny headed off into the woods a little further before circling around to camp. They were silent for a moment until Vinny was sure he was out of range of the camp.
“Dude. Dude? DUDE? What the fuck was that?” Vinny asked Bob.
“What?”
“Are you fucking her?” Vinny asked Bob. The way Bob looked around for an answer was all the answer he needed. “Holy shit dude, you’re fucking her. Why didn’t you fucking say shit?”
“Dude, this story is so awesome and fucked you wouldn’t believe me. We’re talking straight out of Penthouse shit.” Bob said, taking a drag as they walked, circling around the camp.
“The fuck you mean by that?”
“Dude. Bro. Vinny. Here’s the short version. I came up to the camp a few weeks ago, all my beer was missing. Turns out some of the older girls from the camp were breaking in and taking it. I was chilling one night when in walks this fine ass piece you saw back there, Angie. I convince her that she owes me for the beer. One thing leads to another. Then she comes back again. Then she comes back again and brings another hot ass friend. Then that hot ass friend brings up another hot ass friend, and those last two dyke out on my couch last night until I join in. Then I hear some crazy ass shit from the friend of a friend about how she was abused and raped by her cousins and uncles, which are a lot of the dudes here. Those are the guys I asked to keep an eye on, cause if what she said is even slightly true, they need to fucking die. And that’s how we end up here.”
Vinny stopped walking right after the ‘last night’ part, but Bob kept going at his slow pace, turning back to him.
“I didn’t tell you any of this shit because it was too fucking unbelievable. And they’re all like 16. Ish.”
“So, let me see if I get this straight... You’ve been living the porno life up at camp for the last few weekends, and never told anyone, not even your closest boys, ‘cause you thought we’d think you were full of shit?” Vinny asked matter of factly.
“Yep.”
“Fucking right on that. Ain’t no fucking way we’d ever believe you’d pull tail like that without paying them. That’s too fucked up man.” Vinny sat down on a tree stump nearby. Bob did the same.
“So, all that shit really happened?”
Bob recounted the story completely again to Vinny, from finding Angie to talking about Stacy being raped since she was 8 by her relatives, the church’s authority figures. He then went on to explain that even if he did say anything, that opens up another can of worms with them being so young.
“I mean, it’s not illegal here, but it ain’t necessarily right. Great for a bang, and I’m providing a vital service to women in need, but if I stop and think about it, it feels a little...”
“Weird?” Vinny replied.
“Yeah. Weird. Like, I’m not going out and dating them or picking them up at school, they’re breaking into my cabin and drinking my shit. If they don’t want me to narc them out, then ‘Gas, Grass or Ass baby, no one rides for free.’”
“Yeah, speaking of that, you really should get a lock on that door.” Vinny said, lighting up another smoke. Bob pulled out another and lit up.
“Besides, good call on not saying shit. Chuckie would just find a way to fuck it up, completely on accident, and Paul and Gary would probably roofie the bitches and fuck’em at the same time. Something ain’t right with them.” Vinny paused for a moment before continuing, taking another drag.
“Me, I don’t know what I’d fucking do. I’d do the same shit as you, but hearing about that shit makes me want to fuck someone up. I don’t wanna bring any more heat down unless it’s really worth it. I just paid off my fines, I don’t wanna go back unless it’s for a very good reason. Fucking some hot high school ass is almost worth it, but not quite. Give it another 2 years and they’ll be college ass, and that shit is free and willing. But when we get back, I’ll see what I can find out on dem Daniels’s. I don’t think I know anyone in those circles, but who knows.”
“Thanks dude. That means a lot.” Bob and Vinny fist bump. They got up and walked back towards the lake, through a different part of the camp.
“Thundercunt? That’s fucking good.” Bob laughed thinking of the nickname.
“Body of a goddess, personality of a wet sponge, and probably fucks like a dead fish. Once they get that hot, they don’t try unless it means a gift or a ring.” Vinny said.
“Nah, you just suck at fucking.” Bob said, as the two of them walked and laughed.
The rest of the afternoon and evening was quiet. They wandered around the lake, partying with new people. Some of the older campers and counselors snuck away from the camp for a little enjoyment and privacy. Bob and Vinny ran into Stacy and Jen, who snuck away from the camp to get some time alone with each other. The men made sure the girls weren’t disturbed for a few minutes. Chuckie ran into them later and tried hitting on them, only to fail hard. No one had seen Paul and Gary for a while, but they’d show up at some point.
After dark, various campers set off a bunch of fireworks, followed by an actually decent fireworks show from Camp Biblethumper. It wasn’t nearly as big Harbor City’s show, but it was impressive for the lake. The crew watched the show from Bob’s cabin. Somehow Angie, Stacy, and Jen escaped their camp again. This time, all of the teens left and scattered along the lakefront beach. The counselors and staff kept an eye on the little kids, but for the night the older campers were free.
Bob lay with Angie on the hood of his truck watching the fireworks. They weren’t sure what was more entertaining – the aerial display or watching Chuckie get shot down by Stacy and Jen again. That boy never learned until the learning was forced on him. They cuddled for a bit after, before heading back down to the beach.
Some of the visitors started a bonfire on the beach, and everyone came down for some fun. It didn’t get too out of control, but a few of the teen campers would wake up with a hangover the next day. Everyone had a good time.
Except for Jacob Daniels.
Young Mr. Daniels decided to try to be the voice of moral authority at the beach. This didn’t go over too well as it soon became apparent that he couldn’t hold his liquor, either. Somehow Paul and Gary convinced Jacob to have a couple drinks with them. This worked fine until a half-in-the-bag Jacob decided that now was the best time to preach against fornication and minorities. This didn’t go over too well, as he was soon getting his ass kicked by half a dozen people, including Chuckie and Vinny.
The irony is that it was Vinny who calmed the situation down just before he cold-clocked Jacob again. As the young minister lay on the beach, Vinny and Chuckie helped him up and took him away from the fire and towards the beach, where they had a couple more drinks. Since Jacob was a lightweight, a couple more was enough to get him shitfaced. Closer to midnight, Chuckie and Vinny dragged Jacob back to the camp and dropped him off right past the gate. Jake mumbled something about his cousins to Chuck and Vinny, but he had a hard time making it out. The only reason Jacob didn’t sleep under the stars that night was Natalie, who rushed to meet him. Vinny would later tell Bob that she was about as happy as an old man with hemorrhoids to see them, and went full bitch-mode on them, Jacob, and anyone she saw coming back to the camp. She was the only older camper who wasn’t out having a good time. They even offered to escort her down to the bonfire, but she refused.
After a while the party wound down. Angie, Stacy, and Jen returned back to their camp. Vinny and Chuckie hooked up with a pair of cougars whose husbands had passed out and had whiskey dick, and Paul and Gary were last seen taking some really drunk young woman into the woods. There was something wrong with those two. Bob hooked up with some woman who was visiting some relatives, but he didn’t remember what she looked like, let alone her name. Something like Tiffany or Tammy. Whatever.
The next morning was a blur, both of activity and of a hangover. The crew split early in the morning, probably before the sun had risen. Vinny and Chuckie left the RV they fucked the cougars in before the husbands woke up, and Paul and Gary decided to leave before the woman they fucked woke up and ‘knew what we looked like.’ That left Bob, who woke up in his cabin on a Thursday morning, alone. Just the way he wanted to wake up.
He didn’t want to wake up to the knocking on his door, and it opening again.
Bob looked at the door and saw a young man wearing a red polo and jean shorts. He looked just like Jacob.
Bob grabbed his gun and held it out of sight as he answered the door in his underwear.
“Fuck you want Jacob?” Bob approached the door, his right hand behind his back.
The young man recoiled a little at hearing Jacob’s name.
“I’m not Jacob, I’m Jason. Jacob’s my brother. By any chance, did you see him last night?”
“I saw him get really drunk, start yelling some shit, pick a fight with half a dozen people and get his ass kicked. Why? Half the beach saw that last night.” Bob slid the gun from behind his back to in front of him, but out of Jason’s view.
“Yes, I understand that. You see, one of our cousins saw you with one of the men that attacked him last night, chased him all the way back to the camp entrance. She says that you and he visited her booth yesterday, and he was, shall we say, quite persistent on getting to know her.”
“Listen Jackoff...”
“Jason.”
“Whatever. Jacob was in no condition to run last night. He was dragged off of the beach. Unconscious. Passed out drunk. I’m guessing he doesn’t drink much, because after a couple he was yelling at a bunch of people on the beach, calling them sinners and shit. Most people didn’t pay him any mind, but a few got upset when he was screaming at their underage daughters, saying they were dressed like whores.”
Bob may have been stretching the truth a little, but it was nice to show this little prick that two can play this game.
“Some parents beating up a mouthy little shit yelling at their girls is well within expectations. Your brother was being a jerk. Did he get seriously hurt?”
“He has some bruises.”
“Anything broken?”
Jason thought to himself for a moment.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Then it’s what we would call a lesson in humility. The bruises will heal in a day or two. He’ll have a raging headache all day, tell him to drink some water. If he has a black eye, put a steak on it to keep the swelling down, then cook the steak. Anything else?”
Bob tapped on the wall with the gun, making sure that Jason could hear it. Jason didn’t recognize that sound, but didn’t like it either.
“Um, no sir, I think we’re good here. Y’all have a blessed day now.” Jason backed up a few steps before turning around. It took him about ten seconds before he broke out into a full sprint away from the cabin.
‘This place is getting weird.’ Bob thought as he closed the door. From what Vinny and Chuckie told him last night, this doesn’t sound like any of what happened. And it didn’t take long to figure out that Thundercunt was involved. Vinny said he saw her last night when he dropped off Jacob at the camp, and she was in full bitch mode last night. Plus, this little shit said that she saw him hanging out with Vinny yesterday. He’ll have to keep an eye out on things. But first things first.
It’s time to go get some supplies, and a god damned lock for this door.