[[Bubbles]]

So this is just for victims.

Do you still have nightmares about your assault. I ask because occasionally when I am stressed i do and they are usually the same but the most recent incident with it was different.

Just wondering what it's like for everyone else

[Kylie]

Yes.  All the time. 
It is usually the same type of dream.

Yes not as frequently as I used to but can have nightmares if it and sometimes just dreams that my rapist just appears in
I knew him well, so sometimes have dreams where everything was ok and that’s even more disturbing sometimes

[Rachel_Thornton]

I still do have nightmares about my rape and like yourself it is mostly connected to my stress levels. If I am feeling out of control over something then it comes and hurts me in the night.
I feel disturbed while dreaming it as I feel that I am just watching and waiting for the event to happen and I am powerless to stop it. All I can do is just wait until the end and hope to wake up. Sometimes its just the one time, other times it repeats from the beginning and my mind just gets confused.

[[Bubbles]]

All I can do is just wait until the end and hope to wake up. Sometimes its just the one time, other times it repeats from the beginning and my mind just gets confused.

Fuck this sucks, my stress is so high that it's happening almost every night.  And it used to always be the same, if be laying in bed if hear the door of his truck close and then Id lay motionless and listen as he got closer, my mind wants me to run but I can't. Then when he's done he just lays on top of me.

But these new nightmares are different. It's like a regular dream and then I'll see his reflection in a mirror. Or hear his voice from across the room and it will be in a crowded place and I start running for my life but no one helps out even cares everyone just goes on with their lives. And as I'm screaming and fighting people just walk by it's like I'm invisible.

No psycho babble here Bubbles. It's been 25 years since I was raped. And I still occasionally have nightmares. Most usually, it's a combination of stress AND this is important.....someone you are newly in contact with, semi regular. Subconsciously, they remind you of.........it sets them in motion.

Wish I could tell you they go away. But, they don't. They can fade..but they're still there. And your mind remembers everything, whereas you probably blocked a lot. The new dreams, are a revelation that you most likely sense this persons presence. Even if it's not him

 

[Kylie]

They are still there.  I write stories about them.  I have people write stories about them.  I roleplay about them.  Maybe it will not be so scary anymore.  I don't know.

[[Bubbles]]

No psycho babble here Bubbles. It's been 25 years since I was raped. And I still occasionally have nightmares. Most usually, it's a combination of stress AND this is important.....someone you are newly in contact with, semi regular. Subconsciously, they remind you of.........it sets them in motion.

Soooooo I figured it out today.  I was going to get my mail which is in a public place in our complex, I didn't hear my new neighbor leave his apt, I was just like zoned out I guess. Anyway he's Chinese we bonded a while ago over common culture, went out to get Ramen together he's overall a cool guy who I can call to kill spiders in an emergency. When he found out I was Korean he started saying a few phrases he remembered in Korean just a nice gesture cuz I was complaining I never get to speak it anymore.  Anywho I'm getting my mail, he says hello in Korean and I fucking screamed bloody murder, turn around and almost punch him because he sounds a whole lot like my uncle. And it's one of those things when I was looking at him talk my brain didn't make the connection but he came up from behind me and all I had was a voice that I swear to God I recoiled and panicked and was ready to fight all pretty much at the same time.

Then I ran into my apartment (leaving my mail like an Idiot) I just couldn't talk, like to him or really at all,  and by the time I got my shit together he was gone. This is the thing I hate about new people I now have to explain why I behaved like a lunatic. Whatever, moral of the story, my subconscious sucks, I'm sure I'm gonna have a nightmare tonight because I'm an anxious mess and it's amazing how exhausting 20 seconds of pure unbridled fear can be.

Going to bed early. Gnite

No psycho babble here Bubbles. It's been 25 years since I was raped. And I still occasionally have nightmares. Most usually, it's a combination of stress AND this is important.....someone you are newly in contact with, semi regular. Subconsciously, they remind you of.........it sets them in motion.

Soooooo I figured it out today.  I was going to get my mail which is in a public place in our complex, I didn't hear my new neighbor leave his apt, I was just like zoned out I guess. Anyway he's Chinese we bonded a while ago over common culture, went out to get Ramen together he's overall a cool guy who I can call to kill spiders in an emergency. When he found out I was Korean he started saying a few phrases he remembered in Korean just a nice gesture cuz I was complaining I never get to speak it anymore.  Anywho I'm getting my mail, he says hello in Korean and I fucking screamed bloody murder, turn around and almost punch him because he sounds a whole lot like my uncle. And it's one of those things when I was looking at him talk my brain didn't make the connection but he came up from behind me and all I had was a voice that I swear to God I recoiled and panicked and was ready to fight all pretty much at the same time.

Then I ran into my apartment (leaving my mail like an Idiot) I just couldn't talk, like to him or really at all,  and by the time I got my shit together he was gone. This is the thing I hate about new people I now have to explain why I behaved like a lunatic. Whatever, moral of the story, my subconscious sucks, I'm sure I'm gonna have a nightmare tonight because I'm an anxious mess and it's amazing how exhausting 20 seconds of pure unbridled fear can be.

Going to bed early. Gnite

Honesty doesn't have to include details. Simply say..."your voice reminded me of a bad time in my past and my brain took me back there. I apologize if it affected you". And congrats  on figuring it out

I wake up from them and I can smell him for a little while

[[Bubbles]]

I wake up from them and I can smell him for a little while

I just wake up in a cold sweat and enraged. That must suck to be able to smell him.

I wake up from them and I can smell him for a little while

I just wake up in a cold sweat and enraged. That must suck to be able to smell him.

It's Marlboro Lights.  He was a chain smoker.

[[Bubbles]]

I wake up from them and I can smell him for a little while

I just wake up in a cold sweat and enraged. That must suck to be able to smell him.

It's Marlboro Lights.  He was a chain smoker.

BLECH! <Virtual Hugs>

[Connie Stanz]

Still get occasional anxiety when awake but after the first couple of years I never really had nightmares - more matter-of-fact dreams that can feel oddly cathartic. Usually feel quite serene when waking up after one.

I do sometimes. It’s been almost 30 years for me since it began. I think a huge part of it for me is that my abuser and I are married. And when our marriage is particularly stressful, I guess those early abuses come back to me. The nightmares don’t always reflect the reality of how it happened, though. But I always wake up feeling emotional and confused and needy.