Poll

When you are buying someone's nude/sexting/video online, what are you paying for...

The Nude/Vid?
The Experience?
Her Integrity?
Her Obedience?

Author Topic: Nudes v. Integrity  (Read 4916 times)

Offline [Bubbles]

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Nudes v. Integrity
« on: March 29, 2020, 04:52:54 PM »
(This is a repost, I realized I want everyone's opinion on this not just the ones I chat with the most)

Okay so I had an encounter that I want all of your opinions on, so here goes.

Was having a conversation with someone on discord earlier today, we were considering starting a RP, but as you all know I'm not the best RP partner so, I like to get to know someones style their likes, if they like to lead or follow in the rp...etc.

And we were asking each other questions back and forth, as ya do.  Then he asked to see a picture of me.  I sent him one, then he asked to see more of my body, I explained that if he's looking for nudes, I don't really do that but I could direct him toward some good websites to make him happy.  He said nah, he didn't need nudes just wanted to get an idea of my body type. (I think that was his subtle way of checking to see how much I weigh, based on his comments.) I sent him a pic of my body, then he asked what color my panties were, I told him, he asked to see so I showed him (still on my body I just pulled down my pants a little).  And on and on he went, he'd change the subject for a bit then come back to wanting to see me with less on. By this point, I knew he was just here for the pics and even if he was a RP'er his imagination was for shit, if he couldn't work with what I'd already sent him.  So I politely told him we wouldn't be playing together (he was very surprised and couldnt figure out why).  And he asked "since we arent gonna play can you just send a nude." I explained for what I think was the 9th time, not my thing.  He said he'd pay me. He started out insultingly low...

$2?
#TryAgain.
$5?
#Still Insulted
$10?
#Nope
$20?
#Pass
$50?
#EvenIfINeededThe$NO
$100?
#WaitWhat?
$250?
#DudeCantBeSerious

Then he said something ridiculous that was accompanied with a snapshot of his PayPal account (which had about 30k in it) he said he'd give me $500 dollars for ONE NUDE. And to be honest, for a second...I thought about it. I mean I know once it's out there you can't get it back but that's $500! That's most of my rent ya know?

...And then it occurred to me.  He could get nudes anywhere, and he'd already see a fair portion of my body. He knew what I looked like. It wasn't about the nude. He wanted control. He wanted the ability to make a girl who had told him no, do the thing that she said she wouldn't do. He wasn't asking to buy a nude, he was asking to buy my integrity.  He was asking for me to put a price on how much my integrity would go for on the open market...

And that's when I got pretty cheesed off.

So I need to ask the guys (or in some cases girls), who have paid for porn, pics, vids, sexting, WHATEVER!

What are you actually buying?

The Nude or Her Integrity?
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Offline Kylie

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2020, 05:58:15 PM »
I have had clients ask to take a picture of me.
There are millions of nude pictures on the internet.
But I think they want a memory, something they can keep forever to remember a personal experience with you.  It is something no one else can feel the same about, even if someone else sees this picture.

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2020, 06:45:12 PM »
Sometimes it’s just nice to find out what people are willing to do for money. So I take it the power is ultimately more interesting than the actual nudity, because without sounding callous there isn’t really that much variety under the sun, on the other hand it’s still so utterly pretty to look at.

Offline carhamgrater

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2020, 07:00:46 PM »
Have you considered that he maybe wanted your nude picture to help boost an imaginary ego- look at all the girls I slept with, here the proof-a nude shot of you! He might have wanted it to photo shop other's heads onto your body to sell the images to magazines, porn dating sites etc... To me you forgot or never even considered exploitation to benefit his finances!- just my warped view !
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Offline freeros

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2020, 10:27:15 AM »
It's hard to know for sure what aspect of anything someone else is actually getting off on. My guess in this case is the power of getting you to give him a nude shot when you're reluctant to do it. I don't think he's buying your integrity though unless he knew giving him a nude would be out of integrity for you. i.e. you couldn't feel good about yourself if you did that because it violated your values. There's lots of things I wouldn't do unless I was paid well, but I'd only be out of integrity if I did something that violated my value system so that I felt shitty about it no matter how much I was paid - like doing something that hurt someone else. I'm guessing your anger at the guy is probably stemming from the dishonest and disrespectful way he got the earlier pics from you by pretending to be into role play. Maybe if he sincerely apologized and compensated you for that first you'd be more happy to trade nude pics for his money.
"The hero is the one who conquers the dragon. Not the one who is devoured by it. Also, he is no hero who never met the dragon, or once he saw it, declared afterwards that he had not. Only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it has a genuine claim to self-confidence, for he has faced the dark ground of his self, and thereby has gained himself... Everything that menaced him from the inside he has made his own." Carl Jung

Offline [Bubbles]

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2020, 11:14:41 AM »
It's hard to know for sure what aspect of anything someone else is actually getting off on. My guess in this case is the power of getting you to give him a nude shot when you're reluctant to do it. I don't think he's buying your integrity though unless he knew giving him a nude would be out of integrity for you. i.e. you couldn't feel good about yourself if you did that because it violated your values. There's lots of things I wouldn't do unless I was paid well, but I'd only be out of integrity if I did something that violated my value system so that I felt shitty about it no matter how much I was paid - like doing something that hurt someone else. I'm guessing your anger at the guy is probably stemming from the dishonest and disrespectful way he got the earlier pics from you by pretending to be into role play. Maybe if he sincerely apologized and compensated you for that first you'd be more happy to trade nude pics for his money.

Well giving a nude after I said no would be out of integrity.  But like I'd probably post a semi-nude/revealing pic on this site, but ONLY because I want to post it. I'm just firmly against being treated like my body is someone elses property. WHICH SOUNDS CRAZY I KNOW. but theres a difference in giving yourself to someone with the intent of being treated like property and someone taking that liberty w/o permission. I dunno maybe im the crazy one!
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Offline freeros

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2020, 12:49:04 PM »
It's hard to know for sure what aspect of anything someone else is actually getting off on. My guess in this case is the power of getting you to give him a nude shot when you're reluctant to do it. I don't think he's buying your integrity though unless he knew giving him a nude would be out of integrity for you. i.e. you couldn't feel good about yourself if you did that because it violated your values. There's lots of things I wouldn't do unless I was paid well, but I'd only be out of integrity if I did something that violated my value system so that I felt shitty about it no matter how much I was paid - like doing something that hurt someone else. I'm guessing your anger at the guy is probably stemming from the dishonest and disrespectful way he got the earlier pics from you by pretending to be into role play. Maybe if he sincerely apologized and compensated you for that first you'd be more happy to trade nude pics for his money.

Well giving a nude after I said no would be out of integrity.  But like I'd probably post a semi-nude/revealing pic on this site, but ONLY because I want to post it. I'm just firmly against being treated like my body is someone elses property. WHICH SOUNDS CRAZY I KNOW. but theres a difference in giving yourself to someone with the intent of being treated like property and someone taking that liberty w/o permission. I dunno maybe im the crazy one!

You're not crazy at all. There's a huge difference to consenting to being dominated by someone, and being dominated without your consent.

For me money can change some of my "no"s to "yes"s without me losing integrity. There's lots of tasks I'd do if the pay was high enough. But I wouldn't betray my core values for money.
"The hero is the one who conquers the dragon. Not the one who is devoured by it. Also, he is no hero who never met the dragon, or once he saw it, declared afterwards that he had not. Only one who has risked the fight with the dragon and is not overcome by it has a genuine claim to self-confidence, for he has faced the dark ground of his self, and thereby has gained himself... Everything that menaced him from the inside he has made his own." Carl Jung

Offline Army of One

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2020, 05:56:40 PM »
We already spoke about this on your blog thread, but I'll repeat what I said here: I do think he is after control over you. By having something as personal as a nude, he can use that as leverage to make you do things you don't want to do.

Not every guy after nudes is out for control; to use myself as a pretty poor example, if I do ask, if I get told no, I'll accept the no. But given the number of high-profile cases in recent years, control-seekers seem to be in the majority.
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Offline vile8r

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2020, 08:02:00 PM »
I have NEVER asked for or offered to pay a girl to show me nudes. I have been sent a few, I will admit, but never were they solicited by me. I have chatted with some girls, who after a certain amount of time of getting to know each other, and being comfortable, we have sent each other pics. It was a purely mutual arrangement. Never have I felt the desire or the need to impose control over a woman. In spite of my fantasies and the stories I write, I am not that way. I have asked for pics, yes......sexy pics, not necessarily nudes. And if the woman says no, I am fine with it. I would have too much respect for you, Bubbles, as a member of this site, to do something like that. The guy you chatted with was a dick, plain and simple.
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Offline Between Angela's Legs

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2020, 04:31:26 PM »
A number of years ago, I asked Angela to pose nude for me for money. Angela, who is the woman for whom my username on here is named, later on got a restraining order against me, which has since expired. She cited my request to her to pose nude for money as one of the reasons for the restraining order, although at the time I made the request she seemed to reply a bit more favorably. She did seriously consider it. The offer was for $250 for Angela to pose topless or $500 for completely nude. She responded by asking whether I was asking to also touch her breasts as part of posing topless. I don't remember whether I said 'yes' or not but she said she would seriously consider it. Eventually, however, she decided against it apparently because she didn't want photos like that "out there". She seemed to suggest that the price was too low and for a higher price she would consider it. However money was tight for both of us, and about $250-$500 was all I could afford at the time, so such negotiations didn't go any further.

So, yes, to some degree I was trying to put a price on her integrity, and by seriously considering it and by implying that for a higher (unspecified) price it might have been doable, Angela was agreeing that she did have a price, even though we weren't able to work out something in detail that would work.

Later on I asked an acquaintance of Angela's to also pose nude for money. This time the price was a lot lower (just a token $2) and the woman said 'yes'. However I first got Angela to confirm that it was, indeed, her friend I was talking to and that her friend did agree to pose nude for money. Angela reluctantly wished me well in enjoying her friend's photo, but in doing so Angela was confirming that her friends, too, had their price--in this case a rather low price of $2. The photo that I received of Angela's friend is the photo that I'm using on here as my avatar--the photo with a woman standing nude in a swimming pool wearing only some rather elaborate jewelry around her neck. This photo, even though it is not of Angela, is therefore connected in my mind with this exchange with Angela and serves as a memento of that time.

I know the name of the woman in the photo, but to keep things anonymous prefer not to mention it, even though I'm using Angela's real first (but not last) name.
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Offline Sappho
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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2020, 11:50:53 PM »
I know more than a few online sexworkers, and I think for most men it's a power thing, not so much an integrity thing. You said no, I made you say yes. Though I know for some johns there's an element of "I have porn no one else has", that's why someone patrons a friend of mine with some big money.

I admit I've chipped in to some patreons, but for me its about supporting sex workers I like on a personal level or who fill a niche I'm happy to see filled.

Offline Abby
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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2020, 07:55:28 PM »
Let’s see I’m a 33 year old guy and he seemed like a piece of shit. Desperate, uncaring, wanted control he was trying to see how far he could push you to go. Pathetic really, IMHO.

Offline Brek

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2020, 11:04:38 PM »
I don't think it's a matter of integrity, really, more of safety.

I had a bet with an ex to bring her 20 signatures that said she was beautiful. She had serious anorexia so I wanted to do something about it. I got 100 signatures. She never gave me the nude. In retrospect, I shouldn't have made that the ante. Dumb teenage hormones.

Offline ego
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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2020, 01:52:23 PM »

(This is a repost, I realized I want everyone's opinion on this not just the ones I chat with the most)
....
 I don't really do that but I could direct him toward some good websites to make him happy.  H
...

He said he'd pay me. He started out insultingly low...
...
The Nude or Her Integrity?

"Rape is when you do something about rejection!"

Real-dating is kind of insulting when you are talking to "the" woman, and someone tells you there is "a" woman somewhere else. Like you did with the nude pic websites alternatives.

Are you just a woman OR are you bubbles the girl he was talking to and eventually failing to seduce?
Would you really prefer him to stop chatting at your first "no"?
Real question!

He did invest his time on you.
He was focused on you!

It is irrelevant for a man that he wanted your integrity, men don't think so far into sex or nudes.




Offline Sentinel

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Re: Nudes v. Integrity
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2020, 03:26:21 PM »
Personally the onlyfans I pay for I do purely for the product, and because I know that it is a more effective way of supporting the model/actress. If I consume porn on a free website I derive the same physical pleasure, but I know that the performer is getting very little if anything out of that. Meanwhile using onlyfans I derive the same pleasure but the person doing the actual work gets paid for their work. And through that support can afford to make more. So I'd say for me it's actually integrity-improving as I see it as payment for a product I enjoy (the nude, video, etc. Not saying the performer is a product). Beyond that I don't ask women for nudes. I do exchange them with my fiancée, and I have received unsollicited nudes from female coworkers but the latter of those I always deleted.