Trevor didn’t feel anything but the darkness wrapping around his soul like a blanket. There was no more herbal tea or fire visions, this was much deeper. Where the being was he didn’t know, and his mind hadn’t registered to seek it out. He was back in his old home, the house he shared with his wife. He was sitting down, to a dinner of roast beef, a plate of the meat was across the table.
He felt different, as if he wasn’t Trevor. It bothered him about the dinner getting cold on the table, he also felt disappointed , as if something had been missed Then he saw himself enter the room, with unkempt hair, shadows under the eyes, and reeking of stale liquor.
He hated the sight of himself. As he walked passed and straight to the kitchen to open the fridge and take out another can of cider. He hated himself and toyed with his dinner as Trevor sat down, looked at the dinner and shrugged. “I’m not hungry” he stated and opened the can. The sound of it opening, gave the watching Trevor a new level of annoyance.
“Who does he think he is?, where was he all night? If he thinks he can treat me like this.......” the thoughts seemed automatic, and the sadness grew stronger
. “What?” Trevor snapped back to himself sitting across the table. “What are you looking at?”
The person who Trevor was gulped and he felt tears approaching fast. “Why was he so sad?”
“You are pathetic?” He said to the laden man in front of him. He suddenly realized he had a woman’s, voice. He suddenly realized he was in the position of is ex wife
“I’ve been making this dinner since 10 this morning, what time did you come back at?” He found himself asking the man across the table.
His voice was high and then he realized he was in the perspective of his ex wife.
Trevor stared at her and blinked profoundly. “I came back, when I came back......” he snapped. His wife opened her mouth and then didn’t see the raised fist catch her hard knocking her off the chair, Trevor felt the blow across his face as he stumbled in his wife’s body.
“Stupid bitch!” Trevor called to himself. “Stupid bitch I hate you” Trevor said again. He knew what it was like now to be on the receiving end of his own fists and might.
His body ached as his spirit was propelled across more misery.
The cell, the very cell, he found himself after another night of domestic violence.
Instead of the usual scene of the officer arriving with his release papers as what happened. The looming dark figure opened the cell door.
“Get away from me!” Trevor shouted at the apparition.
It breathed heavily and spoke softly in the tone of death.
“Now we have established what you are capable of, now you shall see what I’ve seen and endured” the thing, glided across the cell and entered his body or rather he thought it did as it disappeared close up before his eyes. He felt it in him, the blackness, the death, toying with his soul like a puppet on a string.
He wasn’t really in the cell, it was a vision, however he didn’t know what was real or a dream anymore. He collapsed to the cold cell floor, as the bleak shadows engulfed his consciousness.
He found himself in a forest. He looked around, it was a bright sunny day, and the birds sang beautifully. It was warm. He was warm and he took a pace forward, he realized again the unfamiliar weight on his chest.
He had breasts, enclosed in a long brown wool garment that had a great weight
He was a woman, he felt his braided hair quite painful cling to his skull, wrapped in what seemed like a shawl .
Trevor heard a man’s voice.
“Posy Have you left to get that water yet from the stream?”
Before Trevor could answer the body he was in seemed to do so.
“Just going Papa”
A weary looking man seemed to just appear.
“Without a bucket?” He threw an old wooden bucket to her and then as she reached to pick it up, Trevor felt the heavy back hand across her face.
“Get to it, get it now, stop daydreaming you silly child” the voice said angrily,
Trevor wanted to strike the man back but the body of Posy he was encased in seemed to run on rails, just like his wife.
He felt the pain of the blow, as he ran into the woods, undergrowth catching on the heavy dress she was wearing. He came to a clear bubbling stream, which filled the silent forest with an almost joyful noise.
Getting on her knees and letting the bucket fill with the water. Posy got to her feet. A twig cracked behind her and she turned quickly, her heart racing. There was nothing. Posy gulped and Trevor felt her throat make the movement, he felt her fear and it seemed in synch with his.
“What did she fear on this lovely warm day?” He thought. Then he felt it pull at him and falling back into the shallow water, she was on her back.
“Nooo! Not again” Posy cried out, as he body clung to the stony bed of the stream the water cold and rushing through her saturating her dress and making her gasp in the shock of the cold.
He felt it, rush passed his head. He felt it tingle a new sensation to him as it passed around her intimacy, her nipples erect and clinging to the heavy wet fabric.
It seemed to grow faster as the water spilled and danced around her body.
“I.....I.....ugh” Posy grunted on the stream bed as the water splashed its dark magic.
Trevor felt it enter her sex as it seemed to push its way inside her, but not cleansing, only making her dirty and stained for life.
Then for a second the water grew warm and with gush around her submissive body it grew hot and then he heard the whisper.
“Posy........you’re mine, forever......” and it was over the water became frigid and the stream lost its magic as Posy whimpered shivering to her feet.
“I am you and you are me......” it seemed etched into her mind as still fearful of her father she filled her bucket with shaking terrified and cold hands. She was a vehicle that Trevor remained to experience as she staggered back to whatever waited for her.
Cloudy far away mists set the next scene as Trevor felt himself stand within her, in what seemed like a smoky log cabin, blood all over her hands and down her brown woolen dress. Two bodies lay mutilated in front of her, one he recognized only by the clothes as the man who was her father, the other a woman, her throat opened and the rusty blade next to her corpse.
Posy grabbed the bucket of water and threw it down herself and cleansed the blood from her hands. Trevor felt the cold water work it’s magic and it felt good, almost welcoming.
“They deserved it, the old ways will rise again and what was forgotten and buried may live again. I am you and you are me” the voice said deep inside her.
Posy smiled and left the cabin, with Trevor as a vector only there to see and feel what she felt and how he could or if he could return to what he was, was now beyond any grasp of reason and understanding. Posy stepped into the shadows and the next scene was awaiting the trapped spirit of the future within her unravelling echo trapped deep in the past.
