So... here we go. I went to the dungeon, which I didn't realize was a real dungeon. First of all, I thought it was like a turn of phrase, like how people say "I went crazy last night," doesn't mean they actually lost lucidity ya know?! Well, I was wrong that shit was a real life, whips and chains, naked people being hung from their ankles and beaten just for shits and giggles - dungeon. So let that be a lesson for all you would be "kinksters" (I guess is what they...we...are called?) dungeon means dungeon. However the dungeon mistress and her...pet? Slave? Sub? person were very nice. I got a house collar which was pretty and made me feel special and kinda safe (ya know as safe as one can feel in a place that had many instruments designed to torment the human body.) I met up with a few people from the munch they were all cool. - SIDEBAR - I showed up in my yoga class clothes cus I had just finished teaching and didn't really have time to change, and also I am not sure what I would have changed into, I didn't wanna show up in like a dress cuz that felt dumb, but I don't really own any leather (cuz I'm broke AF) I also didn't wanna wear my "fuck me" dress cuz well I honestly was still a little scared to go, and of the kind of ppl I'd meet. - I DIGRESS - So after sitting quietly and having what I'm guessing was a deer in headlights look on my face the girl who I thought was just a sub came over and asked if I'd be comfortable negotiating a scene. I had no idea what that meant so she broke it down for me. I thought about it and then figured, fuck it, if I'm gonna try this thing then I might as well TRY THIS THING. So we negotiated a scene, and I told her no penetration and no marks that could be seen while I was teaching class. Then she asked, "that's it?" and I said yea. That was kinda a mistake. I assumed, well she's small. Like my size, maybe a little taller, and shes the sub so like she can't really do anything or whatever. -DOUBLE SIDEBAR - I based this on the fact that her mistress was TERRIFYING I mean like I called her ma'am kinda as like a reflexive ", please don't hit me with anything I just wanna be your friend" kind of fear. - DIGRESSION 2x - So, she tells me we are gonna do a rope scene with impact play, I asked what that meant exactly, and she told me, she may have sugar-coated the intensity of the impact play.
FAST FORWARD 20 minutes. I am suspended from "the pagoda?" slowly spinning in just my panties in a room full of strangers while a girl I thought was demure and small and sweet takes a rather large paddle and a series of floggers to my ass... And I am like somewhere else. I don't know how to describe it. I didn't have like any desire to protect myself, not that it would have mattered she tied me pretty tight. But I just couldn't ...think? I guess. I just like went somewhere else and couldn't really hear anything but the pain was weird and great. I went from like terrified to not really sexually turned on but somehow turned on in a really different way I've never experienced. She didn't use a gag because she wanted me to be able to use my safe word if I needed to without any confusion, which I didn't end up needing. BUT! I cannot explain what the combination of surprise, fear, pain, anticipation, arousal and confusion at the same time are like but it's good.
Probably too good.
So after the scene, she just sat with me, and I cried which is weird I never cry in front of people but I was like SUPER emotional, and we went to a quiet room, and she just rubbed my back which was nice. Then I got dressed and went home. I slept on my stomach cuz it my ass was quite red and a little bruised. Teaching class was so....so....SO incredibly difficult today when I'm laying in Shavasana and trying to keep my focus but cant help but think about how much I want to not be on my ass.
BTW I couldn't really sleep, not from the pain (even though my butt is still....colors...) I kept thinking about everything the rope stuff, the pain the beatings, the girl. So I sent her a message today and asked if we could do more. She said she wanted me to wait for a little just to make sure I've fully processed the experience but that if I wanted to do more rope play she'd be willing to scene with me this weekend....so yea, I guess thats happening.
