Author Topic: Corporate Wisdom  (Read 1015 times)

Offline binder38us

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Corporate Wisdom
« on: September 29, 2006, 05:30:32 PM »
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed in such situations, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.


2. Changing riders.


3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.


4. Visiting other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.


5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.


6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.


7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.


8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.


9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.


10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.


11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.


12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.


13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

I came, I saw, I made love.

Offline Raymond Pist
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Re: Corporate Wisdom
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2006, 05:57:11 PM »
Previously when I've seen this, it's been attributed to governmental wiisdom, rather than corporate. 
And it's reminiscent of a local situation of our own here in Michigan:

The Case of the Spring Pond Beavers:

STATE OF MICHIGAN
Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR
350 OTTAWA NW GRAND RAPIDS MI 49503-2341
JOHN ENGLER, Governor
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY

RUSSELL J. HARDING, Director

December 17

CERTIFIED

Mr. Ryan DeVries XXXX Dagget Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.

Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the strewn channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division

[REPLY]

Dear Mr. Price:

Your certified letter has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at XXXX Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize, their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials "debris." I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first.

As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy, or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem: bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Sincerely,
Stephen L. Tvedten

[Resolution]

After some wrangling the agency ultimately dropped the issue, admitting "It probably would have been a good idea to do an inspection before we sent the notice,"  The beavers are likely still ignorant of how close they came to being fined $10,000 a day for dam living expenses.
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Offline Lois

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Re: Corporate Wisdom
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2006, 08:11:27 PM »
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/b/beaverdam.htm

The "Beaver Dam" Correspondence Between the State of Michigan and a Land Owner-Truth!
   

bullet   Summary of the eRumor
The message consists of two letters.  The first is from the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality to a Mr. Ryan DeVries.  The letter says there are two dams on his property for which there does not seem to be any permit.  The landowner is told to remove the dams and to restore the stream to its free-flowing condition

bullet   The Truth
Both letters are authentic although slightly different than their originals. Stephen Tvedten says the beavers that built the dams on his property were killed by his neighbor who was then concerned about what would happen to the abandoned dams.  The neighbor lived downstream where any debris from the dams would go if they disintegrated.  Tvedten says his neighbor told the state authorities that he had seen Tvedten tending to the dams and reported him.  A spokesperson for the state, however, says there was evidence that the dams had human intervention, namely the installation of some 2 x 4's.  According to state law, beaver dams cannot be built or maintained except by beavers. On Tvedten's website, he has a copy of an email sent by the Michigan office to someone inquiring about the beaver dam letter and that says Tvedten had been seen maintaining the dams.  Tvedten's response was that they were "dam" liars.
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