[MrPessimist]

Personally, I suggest a combination of two or three of these ideas. Have frank talks about your partner about what you like and don't like in a non-bedroom casual setting like having a simple meal together. And when you are feeling randy, build slowly- tear some clothing here and there at most the first time, play rougher and rougher, et cetera.

I was lucky, when we had our frank talk one of my previous partners flat out admitted to a fantasy where she was raped by a serial rapist. The romantic part of relationship might have not worked out, but I was still raping her twice a week after we broke up until I had to move out of state.

[Lois]

LOL!  You are such a wonderful perv!

[MrPessimist]

What can I say, we quickly got to the point where we admitted to ourselves that we didn't like dating each other but the sex was awesome.

[KissyFace]

Why is this here instead of in stories?

[UnderU]

I found out that being a woman and asking a man is not the easiest ways either. My ex husband was weirded out by my rape fantasy, and my current bf is a little weirded out. None of them would go to the extreme I want. They took it alright I guess, and tried their best, but I felt that if I expressed the level I wanted it to happen, that it would scare them off.

[Gryphin_Rampant]

My love and I have had one final talk about expectations during an extreme ravishment.  I won't bring it up again.  The understanding is:
* No violation of hard limits
* She will lose her safe word except for emergencies
* She does not want it to happen but will endure it for me
* She should not expect an orgasm
* I should not expect a "thank you"
* It better not happen often
* She will still love me

This is what we call a "Cat 3" event or "I don't want it to happen but bill endure it for you.* Mind you I too have a couple of "Cat 3" issues that her sadistic side likes to explore.  One of them is not much different from the above.

[SeanJulian]

My ex gf was the shy/quiet type, but loved having sex all the time. She was never exposed to rough fantasy sexy. I pushed and prodded her mind little by little during conversations, just to check what she might be into or not. I would go further every time during sex and she didn't complain. That was enough for me and I ravished her one night just the way I wanted too. She screamed and yelled for me to stop, but I knew she was just playing her role. After that, she opened up and we never looked back. Sad that things didn't work out but oh well.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Bring up your fantasies for discussion, don't push too hard at the start...once you get to know the person well...it does become easier. Sometimes you just need to take it...this is what I did with my ex. Being forceful to a Woman will at most times turn her on and open up a whole new world of fantasies

Thank you for this thread. :)

Someone say, "You're welcome"

[Alienna]

You're welcome :)

[mattb447]

Very interesting thread.  I'd love to hear more women's perspectives!

[loverquest]

i can not speak for all women... nor can i speak for anyone else at all... but this is one womans' thoughts and opinions....

I am {by the way} well past 'starting a family' stage.

in my experience, it was all disguised as flirting, early in the beginning.... you know- the kind of flirting where you are in a group of friends...
and the conversation turns to either an insinuated or blatant sex act...
and i would often ask something like "OH- was she willing??" or "YOU took the cuffs on the date, HUH?" in a playful tone ..... but of course, sometimes it was just a {{MUSTER ALL MY COURAGE}} "ya gonna tie me up?"
but in reality... i have TALKED about it WAY more than i have experience.... funny- i can talk about almost anything......


 but one other point i wanted to make....
often the word 'rape' means one thing to one person, and another thing to another.... when i read about someone else getting raped- i find it is a different visual than what i visualize when i think of rape in my fantasies.....
 i dont know if that helps anyone at all.....

 
 LQ

[The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox]

@persephone325   You're welcome. I didn't anticipate it would go this way when I started it, but I'm glad people are getting something from it.

Best,
Ox

A note on aftercare... Depending on the person your working with at the time this can take a minimum of 30-45 minutes but I've personally had it take up to two hours to help someone come down from the head-space that one experiences during fantasy play. Aftercare is extremely important to a good sexual experience for the Submissive and is a requirement of any good play session.

A note on checking up on your partner... Depending on the situation it is important to know who your dealing with, as was stated by the OP. Along with that comes the notion of spending time with them outside of the dynamic of the fantasy play and becoming close to them.

A Note on Safe Words... As many have probably said this is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to any kind of play good or bad. If the person you are playing with does not wish to use a safe word-or in the case of bondage with some kind of vocal restraint like a gag-a physical trigger movement or assertion of an issue; then don't even bother playing with them because that's a whole lot of bad waiting to happen.

and finally...

A note on knowing what you want... This is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT for someone new to this or any type of play-if you don't know what you want then you can't possibly know what you don't want. Trust me when I say this, nothing puts a damper on a good play session then tripping over an unforeseen trigger activity that causes the other party to lose it and possibly have a negative or even very violent emotional or physical reaction to the stimulus.

[loverquest]

QUOTE FROM  TheLoneRaptor77
 "A Note on Safe Words... As many have probably said this is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to any kind of play good or bad. If the person you are playing with does not wish to use a safe word-or in the case of bondage with some kind of vocal restraint like a gag-a physical trigger movement or assertion of an issue; then don't even bother playing with them because that's a whole lot of bad waiting to happen."

I have been taught that it is important for not ONLY the sub... but for the DOM to have the ability to stop everything with the use of a safe word also.
it is a matter of safety, PERIOD.