Ravishment University

THE UNIVERSITY => Ravishment, Forced Sex, and BDSM topics => Topic started by: The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox on August 13, 2009, 10:16:25 PM

Title: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox on August 13, 2009, 10:16:25 PM
Well, since Emily's a Dean here at Ravishment U, and I saw she posted Desmond Ravenstone's Ravishment 101, I'm thinking it's OK to share other 3rd party stuff.

Source: Ravnet.net

FIVE RULES FOR RAVISHEES by Lucrece

I've had sexual fantasies of being taken since high school.

When I decided to act them out, I had no idea of what to do.

I was very lucky to find someone who was patient and thoughtful, and I learned a great deal from him. Here are the most important lessons.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. What is your fantasy? Why do you want to act it out? Think about these questions and how you'll explain this to your partner.

CHECK OUT YOUR PARTNER. If you have a spouse or significant other, think about how he might react. Would he be open to doing this?

If you don't have a partner yet, take extra care in picking
someone. What do you know about this person? Do you feel
comfortable with him? How comfortable is this person with you and your fantasy? Is he as concerned for your well-being and pleasure as with his?

SAFEWORDS. When "No, stop!" is part of the fantasy, you need a way to say it for real. It can be a simple signal, like snapping your fingers or saying a code word.

COVER ALL THE BASES. Playing out a fantasy like this takes a great deal of care! Go over every detail in negotiating and planning.

Always ask yourselves "What if this or that goes wrong?" Then figure out how best to avoid potential pitfalls.

AFTERCARE. Don't just talk it over before, but afterwards, too. A ravishing scene is a very intense experience, and it's important to help each other process your feelings and experiences.
Title: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: Night Cruiser on August 20, 2009, 02:47:53 AM
I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: the_lecher on August 20, 2009, 10:27:38 AM
The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.

Perhaps the best thing would be neither of these, but rather to broach the subject in conversation outside of the bedroom, and when there is no suggestion of imminent sexual activity.  And by broaching the subject, I mean the frank and open discussion of one's interest in rape fantasy.  Discussing it as a theoretical subject, rather than proposing it as practice to be immediately implemented, would allow for the detached examination of the fantasy by both parties.  The likelyhood of there being a perceived threat would be greatly diminished and the pressure of coming to a quick decision would be removed, for the most part.

Of course, this approach also serves to illuminate for us the strength and health of our relationship in general.  If there isn't sufficient trust and security between us to make such a discussion possible, then the relationship may well recquire a more serious appraisal.
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: SharpShaft on August 21, 2009, 09:45:18 AM
I think for a lot of women the tearing of clothing has to do with urgency and not force -- hence the notion of the entirely consensual 'bodice-ripper' romance.  It's a distinction one has to be cautious about.

And, I have to say, my impression is that non-consensual sex has a more prominent and accepted role in Japanese erotic culture than in the west.  Apart from the various artefacts that suggest this (film, pornography, anime, computer games ... I'm just surprised the Japanese don't have a rape-themed breakfast cereal [or miso soup or whatever]) my one Japanese partner was heavily into rape, plus clothing ripping.  No old clothes ever went to waste  ;D .

S.

I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Night Cruiser on August 23, 2009, 12:56:19 AM
The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.

Perhaps the best thing would be neither of these, but rather to broach the subject in conversation outside of the bedroom, and when there is no suggestion of imminent sexual activity.  And by broaching the subject, I mean the frank and open discussion of one's interest in rape fantasy.  Discussing it as a theoretical subject, rather than proposing it as practice to be immediately implemented, would allow for the detached examination of the fantasy by both parties.  The likelyhood of there being a perceived threat would be greatly diminished and the pressure of coming to a quick decision would be removed, for the most part.

Of course, this approach also serves to illuminate for us the strength and health of our relationship in general.  If there isn't sufficient trust and security between us to make such a discussion possible, then the relationship may well recquire a more serious appraisal.


lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: Night Cruiser on August 23, 2009, 01:01:27 AM
I think for a lot of women the tearing of clothing has to do with urgency and not force -- hence the notion of the entirely consensual 'bodice-ripper' romance.  It's a distinction one has to be cautious about.

And, I have to say, my impression is that non-consensual sex has a more prominent and accepted role in Japanese erotic culture than in the west.  Apart from the various artefacts that suggest this (film, pornography, anime, computer games ... I'm just surprised the Japanese don't have a rape-themed breakfast cereal [or miso soup or whatever]) my one Japanese partner was heavily into rape, plus clothing ripping.  No old clothes ever went to waste  ;D .

S.

I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.


sharpshaft,  Boy am I jealous of you for your  (former ?) Japanese partner.  What a great score --- oriental beauty submitting to bedroom rape fantasies, hers as well as yours, I assume.  Have at it !!!!

Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Lois on January 22, 2010, 12:53:34 AM
Good thread
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Night Cruiser on January 23, 2010, 06:07:32 AM
Good thread

Does that mean, Emily, that you will put on a pair of black, patterned pantyhose for me, and we can go at it?   <<< heavy breathing here >>>  Well, a guy can dream; can't he?

Hugs and Kisses everywhere you want them and some places you don't,

Night Cruiser   ^-^
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Lois on January 27, 2010, 06:48:52 PM
Good thread

Does that mean, Emily, that you will put on a pair of black, patterned pantyhose for me, and we can go at it?   <<< heavy breathing here >>>  Well, a guy can dream; can't he?

Hugs and Kisses everywhere you want them and some places you don't,

Night Cruiser   ^-^


Sure!  With or without the strap-on?  :emot_kiss.gif:  Just joking.
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: Gingie on January 28, 2010, 12:23:48 AM
lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Night Cruiser on February 13, 2010, 08:48:55 PM
Good thread


Sure!  With or without the strap-on?  :emot_kiss.gif:  Just joking.

Emily, you are making me blush  :o

I vote for strap-off.  I'm not much into doing or receiving back-door stuff, just dress-up nice and sexy for me, and I will take it (you) from there --- if that's o. k. with you, of course.   8)

BIG kiss right back to you   :emot_kiss.gif:

Night Cruiser
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: Night Cruiser on February 13, 2010, 09:04:33 PM
lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Gingie on February 14, 2010, 12:58:15 AM
lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



What fabulous ideas you have!  Sounds like a great date to me.
Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser

Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Night Cruiser on February 20, 2010, 09:05:53 PM
lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



What fabulous ideas you have!  Sounds like a great date to me.
Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser



Gingie,

I did not see anything new in your most recent post.  Shall I take that for a YES ???    :emot_weird.gif:     I sure hole so!!!!  :o

Kisses all over,

Night Cruiser   emot_omfg.gif





Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Gingie on February 22, 2010, 03:33:04 PM
Deepest apologies, darling!  My compliment for your wonderful ideas was lost in my bumbling attempt to use the 'quote' function. Let me state it again: you have marvelous ideas!  And I do SOOOO love a man with a dirty mind!   >:D
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: MrPessimist on July 21, 2010, 06:34:01 PM
Personally, I suggest a combination of two or three of these ideas. Have frank talks about your partner about what you like and don't like in a non-bedroom casual setting like having a simple meal together. And when you are feeling randy, build slowly- tear some clothing here and there at most the first time, play rougher and rougher, et cetera.

I was lucky, when we had our frank talk one of my previous partners flat out admitted to a fantasy where she was raped by a serial rapist. The romantic part of relationship might have not worked out, but I was still raping her twice a week after we broke up until I had to move out of state.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Lois on July 24, 2010, 02:42:46 PM
LOL!  You are such a wonderful perv!
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: MrPessimist on July 25, 2010, 01:09:02 AM
What can I say, we quickly got to the point where we admitted to ourselves that we didn't like dating each other but the sex was awesome.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: KissyFace on September 06, 2010, 02:20:06 PM
Why is this here instead of in stories?
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: UnderU on June 14, 2011, 02:35:04 AM
I found out that being a woman and asking a man is not the easiest ways either. My ex husband was weirded out by my rape fantasy, and my current bf is a little weirded out. None of them would go to the extreme I want. They took it alright I guess, and tried their best, but I felt that if I expressed the level I wanted it to happen, that it would scare them off.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Gryphin_Rampant on June 14, 2011, 02:27:50 PM
My love and I have had one final talk about expectations during an extreme ravishment.  I won't bring it up again.  The understanding is:
* No violation of hard limits
* She will lose her safe word except for emergencies
* She does not want it to happen but will endure it for me
* She should not expect an orgasm
* I should not expect a "thank you"
* It better not happen often
* She will still love me

This is what we call a "Cat 3" event or "I don't want it to happen but bill endure it for you.* Mind you I too have a couple of "Cat 3" issues that her sadistic side likes to explore.  One of them is not much different from the above.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: SeanJulian on July 14, 2011, 11:00:09 PM
My ex gf was the shy/quiet type, but loved having sex all the time. She was never exposed to rough fantasy sexy. I pushed and prodded her mind little by little during conversations, just to check what she might be into or not. I would go further every time during sex and she didn't complain. That was enough for me and I ravished her one night just the way I wanted too. She screamed and yelled for me to stop, but I knew she was just playing her role. After that, she opened up and we never looked back. Sad that things didn't work out but oh well.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Bring up your fantasies for discussion, don't push too hard at the start...once you get to know the person well...it does become easier. Sometimes you just need to take it...this is what I did with my ex. Being forceful to a Woman will at most times turn her on and open up a whole new world of fantasies ;)
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: persephone325 on August 04, 2011, 08:32:15 PM
Thank you for this thread. :)
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: BigCummer4U on August 17, 2011, 07:27:29 PM
Someone say, "You're welcome"
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Alienna on August 17, 2011, 08:22:48 PM
You're welcome :)
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: mattb447 on August 29, 2012, 08:15:19 PM
Very interesting thread.  I'd love to hear more women's perspectives!
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: loverquest on December 13, 2012, 12:00:23 AM
i can not speak for all women... nor can i speak for anyone else at all... but this is one womans' thoughts and opinions....

I am {by the way} well past 'starting a family' stage.

in my experience, it was all disguised as flirting, early in the beginning.... you know- the kind of flirting where you are in a group of friends...
and the conversation turns to either an insinuated or blatant sex act...
and i would often ask something like "OH- was she willing??" or "YOU took the cuffs on the date, HUH?" in a playful tone ..... but of course, sometimes it was just a {{MUSTER ALL MY COURAGE}} "ya gonna tie me up?"
but in reality... i have TALKED about it WAY more than i have experience.... funny- i can talk about almost anything......


 but one other point i wanted to make....
often the word 'rape' means one thing to one person, and another thing to another.... when i read about someone else getting raped- i find it is a different visual than what i visualize when i think of rape in my fantasies.....
 i dont know if that helps anyone at all.....

 :emot_kiss.gif:
 LQ
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox on December 20, 2012, 05:44:39 PM
@persephone325   You're welcome. I didn't anticipate it would go this way when I started it, but I'm glad people are getting something from it.

Best,
Ox
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: TheLoneRaptor77 on January 13, 2013, 12:21:03 PM
A note on aftercare... Depending on the person your working with at the time this can take a minimum of 30-45 minutes but I've personally had it take up to two hours to help someone come down from the head-space that one experiences during fantasy play. Aftercare is extremely important to a good sexual experience for the Submissive and is a requirement of any good play session.

A note on checking up on your partner... Depending on the situation it is important to know who your dealing with, as was stated by the OP. Along with that comes the notion of spending time with them outside of the dynamic of the fantasy play and becoming close to them.

A Note on Safe Words... As many have probably said this is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to any kind of play good or bad. If the person you are playing with does not wish to use a safe word-or in the case of bondage with some kind of vocal restraint like a gag-a physical trigger movement or assertion of an issue; then don't even bother playing with them because that's a whole lot of bad waiting to happen.

and finally...

A note on knowing what you want... This is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT for someone new to this or any type of play-if you don't know what you want then you can't possibly know what you don't want. Trust me when I say this, nothing puts a damper on a good play session then tripping over an unforeseen trigger activity that causes the other party to lose it and possibly have a negative or even very violent emotional or physical reaction to the stimulus.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: loverquest on January 18, 2013, 07:25:35 PM
QUOTE FROM  TheLoneRaptor77
 "A Note on Safe Words... As many have probably said this is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to any kind of play good or bad. If the person you are playing with does not wish to use a safe word-or in the case of bondage with some kind of vocal restraint like a gag-a physical trigger movement or assertion of an issue; then don't even bother playing with them because that's a whole lot of bad waiting to happen."

I have been taught that it is important for not ONLY the sub... but for the DOM to have the ability to stop everything with the use of a safe word also.
it is a matter of safety, PERIOD.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox on January 18, 2013, 07:53:12 PM
Absolutely, loverquest.

In responsible ravishment, the top has the option, the right, the responsibility, and the obligation to check-in and/or stop if something is suspected to be amiss.

R*pe Play is edge play. Edge play ethics and cautions apply.
 
Bottom has trusted Top with her/his body. That is a Most Sacred Trust. That submission is a Most Precious Gift. Due care and diligence must be taken.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: loverquest on January 18, 2013, 07:58:55 PM
when I realized.... "what" i had gotten myself into....
well it is a realization that I have given trust enough that QUITE literally, he holds my life in his hands.....

if you (as a sub) do not want to trust that much, be very cautious.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Need2BOwned on May 02, 2013, 02:28:36 AM
Communication outside the bedroom is key.

For the women, it isn't any easier.  Many men will think we are insane if we ask to be raped.  Asking if they have ever wanted to hold a woman down during sex can be a conversation opener.  If they say no, they may not have a kinky side.  If they say yes, you can tell them it's their lucky day.  lol!
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: kira on May 02, 2013, 10:31:54 PM
A guy I was seeing for awhile said, as much as id like to hold you down, strip, you and fuck you senseless im obligated to treat you with respect. Youre a lady and will be treated like one.

That was the end of our discussion on rape play.  He was a gentleman, but theres also a time to play, we arent seeing one another anymore lol but hes still a great friend.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Hornybeast on September 09, 2013, 09:31:45 AM
Cool and sensible

HB
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: savage4U on February 26, 2014, 05:38:40 PM
very well said and i agree. Always know who you are going to allow into world in that manner and i could not imagine if my partner did not know i was role playing with femailes with certain likes. I imagine it could get quite erm loud. LOL
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: avunit on March 01, 2014, 09:21:10 PM
Helo
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: lilonelylatina on March 08, 2014, 10:47:32 AM
All great tips and insight to this world. I never new so much planning and discussion was involved. It answers tons of questions anew comer like me thunks about but doesnt want to sound dumb asking. Thanks again :-*
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: SignedCapitolG on June 12, 2014, 01:16:01 PM
Communication outside the bedroom is key.

For the women, it isn't any easier.  Many men will think we are insane if we ask to be raped.  Asking if they have ever wanted to hold a woman down during sex can be a conversation opener.  If they say no, they may not have a kinky side.  If they say yes, you can tell them it's their lucky day.  lol!

This is where I am stuck at. I've been with my husband for 5 years... Have had a burning desire to be brutalized, taken against my will, humiliated etc. for a long time... But have no way to bring this up to him with out fear he will think I'm absolutely insane and need mental help lol
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: ForceU2Love on August 08, 2014, 08:51:29 AM
Communication outside the bedroom is key.

For the women, it isn't any easier.  Many men will think we are insane if we ask to be raped.  Asking if they have ever wanted to hold a woman down during sex can be a conversation opener.  If they say no, they may not have a kinky side.  If they say yes, you can tell them it's their lucky day.  lol!

This is where I am stuck at. I've been with my husband for 5 years... Have had a burning desire to be brutalized, taken against my will, humiliated etc. for a long time... But have no way to bring this up to him with out fear he will think I'm absolutely insane and need mental help lol

I can't  IMAGINE,
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: elprup on August 28, 2014, 08:41:45 AM
Good communications at all stages is definitely the key.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: babydean1 on October 25, 2014, 05:13:07 PM
Thank You. This was very useful information
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: [Bubbles] on February 05, 2016, 07:27:07 AM
I wish the were a way to know without risking the relationship if someone was okay with rape-play
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Bludmagnus on February 15, 2016, 08:41:52 PM
I have found this to be both interesting and informative a thread.

I wish the were a way to know without risking the relationship if someone was okay with rape-play

It really depends on the level of the relationship.  Gentle asking about kinky things is a good way to get started.  Be warm and listen, and there is a chance they will broach the subject themselves.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: [Bubbles] on February 15, 2016, 08:49:07 PM
I have found this to be both interesting and informative a thread.

I wish the were a way to know without risking the relationship if someone was okay with rape-play

It really depends on the level of the relationship.  Gentle asking about kinky things is a good way to get started.  Be warm and listen, and there is a chance they will broach the subject themselves.

Unfortunately, that relationship has already crashed & burned. #StoryOfMyLife
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: Algore on March 05, 2016, 01:11:26 AM
I wish the were a way to know without risking the relationship if someone was okay with rape-play

I'm okay with it!

Alas, I am middle-aged and boring, and in a different country anyway... Sigh.
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: [Bubbles] on May 24, 2016, 10:53:54 AM
I wish the were a way to know without risking the relationship if someone was okay with rape-play

I'm okay with it!

Alas, I am middle-aged and boring, and in a different country anyway... Sigh.

Good to know! lol
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: bustywife727 on May 22, 2017, 06:27:11 PM
lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)


So well put! ❤️

Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 
Title: Re: 5 Rules for Ravishees
Post by: amandablonde on March 19, 2019, 01:49:07 AM
I had a boyfriend some years back who really chimed with my dirty mind. He liked to share his rape fantasies with me by whispering them to me as he masturbated me. I just let him go on and floated down the river of lust in my mind, my eyes closed and my mind open. I imposed no limits on him and he took me to some really dark places but I have never enjoyed orgasms as long or as strong as the ones I enjoyed with his fingers controlling my body and his mind controlling mine.
Title: Re: Asking for rape role play is risky.
Post by: Femdomina on October 20, 2020, 03:50:34 PM
Interesting story.