[Luckytom]

Las Vegas Churches
 


THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
   
THIS TASK IS HANDLED BY CHIP MONKS!
 
OH, I AM SO SORRY, YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?     

[sindyloo]

    WHY oh WHY??  did I read this???  Chips.... Monks......   Chips+Monks... haw yes very good Lucky Tom.

  OWWWw sides hurting now thanks honey this is for you! :kitty2:

My kind of humor!

 

Yeah, you got me on that one!

  ...Good one LT!!

NEW RULE:
[Byline Bill Mahar]

If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire.
Sorry, Reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in.
I'll use the fire department I  PAY for;
you...(PAUSE)
 can pray for rain.

NEW RULE:
[Byline Bill Mahar]

If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire.
Sorry, Reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in.
I'll use the fire department I  PAY for;
you...(PAUSE)
 can pray for rain.

That was funny Ray..

[sindyloo]

  Good one Ray thanks!    also reminds me of a old joke.  those who are religous cover your ears okay??


   There was a Priest a Minister and a Rabbii  and they were deciding how to give the collections to GOD.

   So the Priest says lets draw a circle on the ground and throw the money up in the air over it. And what lands outside we give to GOD.

   "NO!!  States the minister throw the money up and what lands in the circle we give to GOD!!

   The Rabbii shouts "NO NO!"  Throw the money up and what GOD wants he can take it!!


  Okay so sorry now have to go do my Rosary and confession!  Hmmm where is the Chaplain??

 Good one Ray thanks!   also reminds me of a old joke.  those who are religous cover your ears okay??


   There was a Priest a Minister and a Rabbii  and they were deciding how to give the collections to GOD.

   So the Priest says lets draw a circle on the ground and throw the money up in the air over it. And what lands outside we give to GOD.

   "NO!!  States the minister throw the money up and what lands in the circle we give to GOD!!

   The Rabbii shouts "NO NO!"  Throw the money up and what GOD wants he can take it!!


  Okay so sorry now have to go do my Rosary and confession!  Hmmm where is the Chaplain??

ROTFL...That was good sindyloo..Thanks for the laugh.

NEW RULE:
[Byline Bill Mahar]

If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire.
Sorry, Reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in.
I'll use the fire department I  PAY for;
you...(PAUSE)
 can pray for rain.

 

I guess the fire department doesn't go to the American Red Cross, American Cancer Society, YMCA, Juvenile Diabetes Association, Girl and Boy Scouts of America, Ronald McDonald House, Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

[sindyloo]

  Oh Gosh!! :-[  Excellent point you have as well Jasmine!  And lets not forget someothers that arent tax backed either  volunteer Fire fighters, civilian search and rescue units and others esp this time of year that put on big dinners for the homeless as well as giving them shelter and warm Jackets coats and Blankets!!

   One I hesitate to mention tho is the ACLU as I am not sure what benefit they are to the normal working people!!??

[Achilles]

lololol

[Chaplain]

Good one Ray thanks! also reminds me of a old joke. those who are religous cover your ears okay??


 There was a Priest a Minister and a Rabbii and they were deciding how to give the collections to GOD.

 So the Priest says lets draw a circle on the ground and throw the money up in the air over it. And what lands outside we give to GOD.

 "NO!! States the minister throw the money up and what lands in the circle we give to GOD!!

 The Rabbii shouts "NO NO!" Throw the money up and what GOD wants he can take it!!


 Okay so sorry now have to go do my Rosary and confession! Hmmm where is the Chaplain??

I've been out taking care of finances.

[sindyloo]

   Oh yes I forgot you guys have to drum up some money to help that old "Catholic Club"  "The FATHERS BEHIND ALTAR BOYS CLUB!!"

   OHHHhhh!!!!!  andI bet Micheal Jackson is a big member of that club to!!!

   But hey Chaplain if you need some money let me know what street corner you want me on??     But remember I dont do politicians as they are so scummy!!

NEW RULE:
[Byline Bill Mahar]

If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire.
Sorry, Reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in.
I'll use the fire department I  PAY for;
you...(PAUSE)
 can pray for rain.

 

I guess the fire department doesn't go to the American Red Cross, American Cancer Society, YMCA, Juvenile Diabetes Association, Girl and Boy Scouts of America, Ronald McDonald House, Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

I see a couple of differences.  One is that the organizations that you listed are all non-profit groups.  Churches, on the other hand, make a LOT of profit. 
But mainly, it's the hypocracy.  The one thing, the one product that churches sell is the idea that there is an omnicient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolant being that we should believe in.  Created the whole universe, and everything in it.  The sun, the moon, the stars.  Mountains. Oceans. Our families, our pets. Walmart.  And of course, the church itself.  And HE can't be bothered to put out a fire in his own home?  Or better yet, prevent it from starting? 

If a church catches fire, I really don't see the point in putting it out. 
If there is a God, the fire is a crystal clear sign from heaven above that he doesn't like that church. How dare the congregation act to thwart His will?
If there isn't a god, then there is no need to risk the life of a single fire-fighter in order to protect a shrine to a non-existant being.

That being said, I'm also not happy about paying taxes to put out the fires of other people's homes in my community.  I've never once used the fire department.  In the event I do need to use them, I'd be so happy to pay for their service, that I'd almost be willing to run back into my burning house to get my checkbook.  (And if I didn't, my insurance agent would!)  Pay-per-use, is how most gov't services should be rendered.

--Ray