"TEXAS CHEERLEADERS TERRORIZE SCHOOL" Screams the headline.
"Who's to blame for these teenagers gone wild" adds ABC News.
"Principal forced to resign" notes AOL....who chose this as their LEAD story. (slightly above Disney Character "Tigger" assaulting a child. OK, so it's a slow news day. But still....)
Anywayyyyyyyy, the story goes on to allege that the bouncy co-eds "repeatedly skipped class, insulted instructors, terrorized their coach and posted sexually suggestive pictures of themselves on MySpace." In an astonishing lapse of journalistic integrity, links to the MySpace pages were omitted from the article. "They sent dirty text messages to my husband" whined the coach. Presumably, the husband was able to convincingly hide his joy at this turn of events, and refrain from shouting "whoopie!!"
The focus of the article is to point out that administrators have been stripped of the power to discipline their young charges. Which, of course, in this politically correct world is pretty well accepted. Indeed, would the outrage been larger had the story been "PRINCIPAL FORCED TO RESIGN----charged with administering bare-bottom, OTK spankings to 5 disorderly cheerleaders." THAT news, had it broken last week, would have bumped President Ford off the front page.
Fortunately, myself, and A/V kid, the entire chess club, and two "math-letes" have sat down together and drafted a solution: Since the administration's hands are tied when it comes to student discipline, why not let the student body handle it? Just grant immunity to mathletes, members of the chess club, the A/V department, and myself--as their student advisor--for any alleged sex crimes committed on campus against "uppity" cheerleaders. And if that doesn't put them back into their place, extend the immunity to the jocks on the sport's teams as well. THEN the headline would read "CHEERLEADING SQUAD NOW EXTREMELY WELL BEHAVED---after being "raped into shape" by the school's own geeks and jocks. Principal hailed as hero! Football team undefeated!"
After all, isn't it the cheerleading team's JOB to boost student body morale?
Face it, most high school sports teams can never hope to bond over a gang-rape.
And most mathletes, chess kids, and A/V geeks can never hope to score with a cheerleader.
THIS is the opportunity to change THAT!
--Ray