Synopsis: A man discovers a camera with a tape in it. What he finds on it shocks, disgusts, and arouses him.
WARNING: The following story is extremely graphic. You must be 18 or older to read. The story contains characters under the age of 18. Do not read if such things are not legal in your country. The author does not condone rape, murder, sex with anyone under the age of consent, or any illegal/immoral actions.
Story Codes: MF, gi, rape, violent, tort,
I Am Not A Monster by Sleazy Gonzalez
t was about 20 years ago. I took the garbage out to the dumpster. I opened it and looked inside. Sitting there, was a camcorder. A VHS one. Remember those? This was back when that was still the standard.
Out of curiosity, I reached in and pulled it out. It looked like it was in good condition. A few scratches and stains, but that was it. I opened it, there was a tape in it. I rewound it and played it on the little monitor for a minute. It was footage of someone's house. The person holding it was just testing the camera I guess. Either way it worked perfectly. I tossed the garbage in and went back to my apartment with the camcorder. No sense letting it go to waste.
Rather than watch the rest of the tape on the little monitor, I decided to watch it on my TV. I popped it in the VCR and played it.
It went for about 10 minutes of the same house, cutting between different times and different angles. A few times, people could be seen going in and out. It was starting to get a little creepy.
After that, it cut to some footage of an empty basement. The person holding the camera was humming. It sounded like a man. This went on for like 5 minutes.
It cut to a couple guys getting into a car, then cut again as the cameraman walked towards it. I was starting to wonder what his deal was. Some young guy messing around? Trying to make an art film or something?
Next it was inside the car. The cameraman was in the front seat filming the driver. A stocky man with a shaved head. The driver turned and grinned at the camera before looking back at the road. It panned over to the back seat. The person in the back, a very thin and twitchy looking guy, was bent over and messing with a bag on the floor. He looked up and saw he was being filmed.
“Come on! Stop messing around with that! We're..” He reached for the camera and it cut off.
It briefly cut to the guys all walking towards the house.
Then it immediately took a turn for the worse.
It cut to a close up of someone's face. He had a black eye, bruises up and down his face, and blood running from a broken nose. He was passed out. There was muffled screaming offscreen. The cameraman's hand came in and slapped him.
“Wakey wakey!” the cameraman said.
The beaten man limply brought his head up. The cameraman grabbed him by the hair and turned his head to the side. “Wouldn't want you to miss the party!”
The camera panned over. The two men from the car were holding a woman and a young girl. The one with the young girl, a preteen, was holding her against himself as she kicked her feet. The other man was holding the woman who had her arms tied behind her back. Her top was torn off and he was fondling her breasts. They both had rags stuffed in their mouths.
The beaten man let out a pained cry.
“Your wife and girl are going to put on a little show for you,” The cameraman said.
The beaten man slurred something that sounded like, “You son of a bitch! Why are you doing this?”
“Shut up, faggot,” The cameraman stuffed a rag in his mouth.
The camera panned back to the struggling woman and girl. “Hey,” the cameraman said, “Who should we start with? Who do you think?”
The beaten man shook his head and screamed angrily
“Your daughter? Good choice. Your slut wife can get a preview of what she's going to get.”
They tied the woman to a chair next to her husband. The cameraman slapped her and grabbed her face. “Calm the fuck down, bitch! You'll get your turn soon enough!”
The other two men brought the little girl over to a mattress on the floor. They held her down, forced her legs apart, and hiked her skirt up. The cameraman took out a pocket knife. He cut her panties off, exposing her hairless vagina. A slit between her legs.
I should have turned it off right there. I wanted to, but I frozen in my seat. I was held by a mixture of horror, curiosity, and (I'm so ashamed to say this) arousal.
“Look at that fresh cunt meat!” The cameraman zoomed in on the slit between the little girl's legs. He spread it with his fingers, rubbed it with his thumb, and ran the blade of his knife over it. “Hold the camera, I'm getting the first taste of this.”
One of the other guys took the camera. It focused on the cameraman man unzipping his pants and letting his erection out. He brought up to the girl's slit and started pushing it in. She screamed loudly. She tried to get away, but couldn't wriggle away from the guys holding her down.
He had trouble getting in. He spread her apart and forced himself in. She bled as he got his dick inside her. The camera lingered on the man going in and out of her bleeding vagina as the others taunted and laughed off screen.
He finally came inside the poor girl with a loud grunt. He pulled out and the camera zoomed in on her pussy leaking blood and cum.
The camera passed hands and the next one fucked her too. Then the next one. As the other two went, the camera over her body more and focused on her pained, crying face a few times.
Finally, they were done with the little girl.
“Hey! I've got an idea,” one of them said.
He grabbed the little girl and dragged her over to her tied up father. He had one of the other guys undo the father's pants and pull them down.
“Let's let daddy have a turn now.”
The father was limp. He made the girl lick it and take it in her mouth, but he stayed limp.
“Get hard, you fucking faggot!” One of the guys said and punched him.
Another put a knife to the girl's throat. “If you don't get hard, I'll kill the little bitch!”
The father shook his head and the girl cried out loudly.
“3..2..1!” The man slid the knife across the girl's throat. Her blood spurted out of her jugular and splashed onto her father's genitals. The father was screaming through his gag. The men laugh loudly. The girl's eyes rolled into the back of her head. When she stopped spurting blood, they threw her dead body across her father's lap.
Next, the stocky man untied the woman. He dragged her over to the same mattress the little girl was raped repeatedly on.
“I'm going first this time!” the stocky man said. He climbed on top of the woman. He reached up her skirt and tore her panties off. He got between her kicking legs and started fucking her. He leaned down and bit down hard on her tits, she started bleeding. The camera panned over her breasts, focusing on the bloody bite marks. The stocky man fucked her hard. He had a crazed look in his eyes.
The cameraman focused in on the woman's crying face. “Don't worry, honey,” he said, “Your daughter might be gone, but we'll fuck you until we knock you up with a new one.”
The stocky man let out a a grunt. He was obviously cumming inside the woman. When he was done, he let the thin, twitchy guy on top of her. The thin guy thrusts into her with even more enthusiasm than the stocky man. He grabbed and rubbed her tits, smearing blood from the bite marks all over them.
“Godammit,” he said. “These were perfect tits, and you had to go and ruin them by biting them.”
“I had to ruin them. That's what you do with pretty tits, you know?” the stocky man said.
“Shut the fuck up!” the thin man said.
The thin man thrust into the woman. She just kept screaming and screaming through the rag in her mouth. He pulled the rag out of her mouth and forced his against hers. He kissed her for a little bit before he yelped and pulled away. He spat blood in her face. The camera focused on it.
“Fucking bitch bit my tongue!” he yelled.
“Dumbass,” the cameraman said.
The thin man stared punching her in the face as he fucked her. He thrust into her as the camera showed only her face being beaten. He broke her nose. Blood ran out of it like a faucet. The thin man strangled her and groaned loudly. He obviously came inside her too.
The stocky man said, “Alright, its your turn.”
The cameraman said, “Nah. I'm still spent from before.”
The thin man said., “It's cuz you're a fucking pedophile, isn't it? You can only get hard for kids like that little bitch we just killed.”
The cameraman man said, “Don't get pissy with me. You guys both fucked her too. Now, can one you take care of this bitch? Her screaming is getting on my nerves.”
With the gag out of her mouth, the woman had been wailing at the top of her lungs. The thin man jumped back on top of her. He grabbed her by ears, pulled her off the mattress, and started slamming her head against the concrete floor.
“This is what you get for fucking biting me!” the thing man yelled. He banged her head against the floor again and again. I could hear her skull cracking. Blood started pooling underneath her head. Her screaming finally stopped.
After five minutes of this, the stocky man said. “Enough, man! She's fucking dead!”
The thin man let her go. “Fucking bitch,” he said.
“Alright,” the cameraman said, “let's take care of this motherfucker and wrap this up.”
The camera followed the stocky man as he took out his knife and approached the tied up man. His dead daughter was still draped across his lap. His head was down and his face was covered in tears. The stocky man grabbed his head and dragged the blade across his throat like he did to the little girl. Blood spurted out of his neck onto his dead daughter's body. He died quickly, thank god.
The cameraman turned the camera to his face, smiled, and said, “The fucking end!”
It wasn't quite the end. The camera cut and there was footage of a hose spraying the blood on the basement floor. After that it cut to the camera swinging around. There was incoherent yelling. I could make out the thin man a couple times. There was a loud sound that I think was a gun shot. After that, the camera cut to static completely.
I sat there in shock, staring at the static on the screen. I was horrified. But I was also turned on. My cock was rock hard in my pants. After sitting there for a moment, I sprang up from the couch. I ejected the tape and smashed it to pieces. I threw the pieces in the garbage. I jumped in the shower and turned the water on cold. I managed to get my hard on down, but I couldn't stop thinking about the tape. Even after I got out of the shower, I still felt really fucking turned on. I paced around the apartment.
My girlfriend got home. She was a nurse at the time and had been working late. As soon as she got back, I immediately threw my arms around her and kissed her deep and hungrily.
“Honey,” she said, “what has gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” I said. “I just really need you right now.”
I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. “You've never been this aggressive before, I kind of like it,” she said.
I threw her on the bed. I tore her scrubs off and kissed her. I kissed her neck and left hickies on it as she giggled. I sucked on her tits. I even bit into her nipples a little. She let out a gasp that sounded like a mixture of pain and delight. The images from the tape kept running through my head. It didn't make me want to stop. It made me want to fuck her all the more.
I penetrated her. I fucked her harder than I ever had before. She wrapped her arms and legs around me. She moaned loudly. “Oh god! It's so good! Oh god, fuck me!”
Flashes of the murders and the rapes in the tape kept coming to me. I tried to push them out. I tried to focus on her. But I couldn't. I thrust into her as fast as I could.
“Oh god!” she said. “I love you! I love you so much!”
Something about the contrast. The horrible images in my head, and my beautiful girlfriend saying she loved me. It pushed me over the edge. I came inside her deeply. It felt the biggest load I'd ever blown in my life. At the height of my orgasm everything went white, then black, then quickly back to my senses.
I lay spent on top of her. Feeling her warm, breathing body beneath me. I felt both satisfied and disgusted with myself. She was telling me how good it was for her and kissed my check. I held her in my arms. The idea of anything ever happening to her made her sick to my stomach, yet here I was fucking her while the memories of the destruction of that poor family in my head. I've never felt my love for her more deeply than in that moment, or hated myself more.
I wanted to tell her. How could she love me and not know how awful I really was? How much more real would her love be if she knew and loved me anyway? But I didn't. I couldn't. Seeing her beautiful naked body in my arms, there was no way I could shatter the peace on her face.
The years have passed. The two of us have gotten married. We have a daughter and she just turned 10 a week ago. I couldn't be happier. Well, that's not true. I could be. If I had never found that camera. If I never watched that tape.
Then again, maybe not? Watching that tape seemed like it awakened something base in me, something primal. My sex life with my now wife had never been better since. Each time I fuck her, those images haunt me, but they spur me on. To fuck her harder and harder. To hold her close and satisfy myself. To satisfy her. The horror of the destruction of the bodies of that family make me want to feel her body against mine in the closest ways possible. The idea that those things on the tape could ever happen to us turns my stomach, and thrills me at the same time. Like how the threat of death when one does something risky is part of the excitement.
I've never told anyone any of this. I'm only telling you because I had to get it off my chest. I had to confess. I need someone to reassure me.
Please, tell me that I am not a monster.
THE END
