[Hazard]

So I've been chatting to a few people recently about emotional connection and how it relates to sex, and it got me curious about the people here and how you guys see it.

At the extreme ends of the scale, some people see sex as purely mechanical. They can look at a partner for their looks/body, and how they feel about them is completely irrelevant. Sex is a purely mechanical process, without emotions (except for internal emotions of pleasure/satisfaction etc) and they visualise sex as a series of positions, movements, stimulations, events. At the other end of the scale, sex is inextricably linked to emotional connection, and looks/physique are almost irrelevant, as are the stimulations themselves. These people couldn't possibly be with someone they didn't have deep feelings for, and their pleasure is tightly coupled to these feelings. Sex is a series of emotional moments and subtleties which are about emotions.

There are loads of other variations. One of my friends is mostly mechanical, and doesn't connect emotion with sex, and the guy's looks/body aren't important, but she DOES require intellectual stimulation. One of my male friends will literally fuck anything, so long as his cock gets wet, and it's irrelevant if he even likes the person. Then there are a lot of girls especially who won't fuck a guy unless she feels safe with him, and has that comfort level of connection.

I actually see rape fantasy as a form of emotional connection for some. It's a dominance weakness, and the excitement of making a girl cry and suffer is definitely a form of emotional connection, albeit a negative one. If you would rather a girl is struggling and crying, rather than lying totally limp and indifferent, there's an emotional element there.

To answer the question personally, I do require an emotional connection. On the occasions when I've started to have sex with someone I don't particularly like, I find it really hard to enjoy myself. It's just boring for me. I require some sort of mental stimulation, and yes, the darker side of me can be mentally stimulated by rape fantasy .... so I could fuck someone I didn't like if there was some darker connotation going on, definitely. But in normal sex, if I don't enjoy someone's company, and I don't want them around, fucking them is really crap. The best sex is always with people I feel very close to.

How about you guys?

[[Bubbles]]

I don't think I need an emotional connection to have sex, but I do need one to get off. My body just cant lets its guard down long enough to ...get there.

[Hazard]

I don't think I need an emotional connection to have sex, but I do need one to get off. My body just cant lets its guard down long enough to ...get there.

Exactly the same here. I can get hard and stay hard, but I don't enjoy myself unless they're very attractive, and even then it's not the same.

I absolutely need to feel the need for some form of emotional connection , and that my partner wants me, whether it is for the moment or forever. I have been with people that there is an instant intense connection, we make love (Basically fuck each others brains out), then say good bye...no guilt...no replay Fucking a good friend is the best...sometimes...

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[The Rt Hon. The Lord Ox]

There's an old cliche:

"Women fuck the women they love, and men love the women they fuck."

I don't know if that's true for you, but it's true for me. I can only cum into a woman so many times before I start feeling ownership, possession, territorial protection...all the primitive feels appropriate for the likely bearer of my genetic legacy.

That's not really an option in the poll, or I would have picked it. The question focuses on emotional attachment as a prerequisite, not a result.

[scarleth]

The question focuses on emotional attachment as a prerequisite, not a result.

What you say makes sense, it's scientifically proven that, after orgasm, both man and woman produces hormones that makes you love and get attached, such as serotonin and oxytocin.
So many times attachment comes for purely biological reasons.

Although, what Hazard was asking is the exact opposite.

I think sex without at least some kind of emotional connection is just pure mechanical..regardless of the type of emotions involved i.e love, lust, urge to submit or dominate..whatever your motivation, there has to be something..else you might as well use a toy..

[Algore]

The question focuses on emotional attachment as a prerequisite, not a result.

What you say makes sense, it's scientifically proven that, after orgasm, both man and woman produces hormones that makes you love and get attached, such as serotonin and oxytocin.
So many times attachment comes for purely biological reasons.

Although, what Hazard was asking is the exact opposite.

There was an episode of "Star Trek - Voyager" that dealt with this theme. Harry Kim scores with a hot alien chick and mutual heartache results. It's undeniable that emotional states are linked with hormones - but do emotions release the hormones or do hormones cause the emotions?

For most people separating sex from emotions is very hard but i know quite a few people who use sex as a means to an end and would do it with anyone they find a little attractive..

[PenitentGirl]

I picked the second answer because the truth is that there is emotion in all types of sex.  Sometimes the emotion I'd like is being cherished other times it is being treated as a fucktoy. Both are emotional connections.

[Eljorn]

I picked the second answer because the truth is that there is emotion in all types of sex.  Sometimes the emotion I'd like is being cherished other times it is being treated as a fucktoy. Both are emotional connections.

I agree.

I think that 2 and 3 are so very similar.  Personally, I picked 3, but I could have gone with 2 as well.
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Eljorn

I have to be stimulated emotionally, mentally or physically to be with someone. The trick is finding all three. But it's true, the higher the quality of emotional and mental satisfaction, the less important the physical becomes. It's never been something I seek out, as far as looks go- I don't care.

I must have an emotional connection with a person before I have sex with them. The most important attribute is his intelligence level and ability to make me laugh. Looks are only important insofar as good hygiene and decent weight (he does not need a six pack). Emotionally I need him to want me enough to have pursued me. I am not an initial "in the moment sex person" and prefer a buildup. Once a relationship is established, and we feel safe with each other, that is the time to have spur-of-the-moment encounters and be able to act out fantasies with each other.

[Jay666]

I had picked number 2. I do acknowledge that everyone require a partner that they are emotionally attach with. The relationship and the intimacy will definitely make each other grow and have better fulfillment in life. I am lucky to have this kind of relationship for long term as well.

However, sometime I yearn for sex which only fueled by lust and no string attach. It's like an innate nature, to crave for something that you do not have. I may have been number 3 or 4 before this but being there for too long had push me to become number 2.