That good ol' Southern hospitality
just gets you every time;
brought up before the municipality
I've been accused of a nefarious crime!
and so of course the good ol' deputy
he takes me in, and the next thing I know
an audience gets to see just ALL of me;
it seems like I'm entirely on show!
and then he cuffs my hands behind my back,
after which time it seems he gets to feel
most all I've got! He says he likes my rack,
and touches me some more until I squeal.
oh, my poor pussy's mortally offended
by just how wet his hands have made it be.
I ask if I can somehow be defended
but the mean ol' judge watching says 'guilty!'
my sentence was six months working outside
the city limits at one of them truck-stop places;;
I served my time butt naked, couldn't hide
a thing from the ol' truckers' grinning faces.
for six whole months they used me for their fun,
my mouth, my pussy, ass, was theirs to use;
at times I thought - could it be safe to run?
but with cuffs and shackles I didn't get to choose.
at last my time was up: now I'd be free!
as the sun rose on the last day of my sentence
I almost smiled, dreaming of liberty.
The governor asked me: 'have you found repentance?'
of course I said I had, and with a grin
he summoned that ol' judge to take a look.
well, when he came, he said: 'she's full of sin;
another six months for this shameless crook!'
well, though I cried some, didn't seem my tears
could melt the stony heart of that ol' judge.
instead he sentenced me to five more years
and absolutely he refused to budge!
so I've been tasting now for quite a while
that good ol' Southern hospitality,
and I just KNOW next time, with a big smile
the judge'll say: 'more penitentiary!'
Author notes
I hope no Southerners will be offended by my attempt to write a humorous women in prison piece like a comedy version of 'Nightmare in Badham County!
