[9Fan]

Or is it neither? Or is it both?

Real Rape is not about Love or Hate nor is it anything to do with Lust , Desire , Passion or about the victims clothing  they were wearing . I can speak from first hand experience as well as a listener to many victims . No I have not been a victim myself but there has been many times when I have felt like one . There are many scenarios and many variations of what took place during the Rape itself however 2 distinctive patterns emerged from discussions I had with the victims of trauma ( as I call them ) .

Rape is about " Power of control " over the Victim and making them do what the Rapist want's them to do against their will ,  this is always followed by " Anger " from the Rapist when the victim ( he or she ) says the word (  NO ) to them . From the Rapist point of view this is seen as defiance to their power over the victim and discipline is needed to reign them in with physical violence by way of slapping or punching or using fear as a weapon  by way of a gun or knife , until the victim submits to his power .

Real Rape is a  filthy , disgusting and abhorrent crime that leaves scars on the victims mind for the rest of their lives but it  also  leaves similar scars on anyone who knows about the victims attack . There is NO cure for any of this and the victim has a life time of mental problems , in all cases the victim is never the same person that you once knew and struggles to cope with life and relationships . All the victim can hope for is to suppress the trauma by way of talking to someone he or she trusts and gets the help mentally to be able to cope and regain some of their lives they have not lost but had taken away from them .

Fantasies are Fantasies and they should remain so and never be brought into reality by forcing someone against their will . Everyone has rights and the right to say the word NO ! Women have the same rights as Men and they must be respected at all times .


Vi

Very well said.  +1 merit from me.

I suppose I should clarify my statements, considering I was thinking we were talking in a fantasy context...

[GEMINIGUY]

Love and hate involve some kind of giving. Rape is taking something that isn't yours to take. I say in one word rape is selfish.

Violator,

After nearly Thirty years Behind the Badge, Investigating a dozen Cases of either Rape or Sexual Assault, I can very comfortably say that your statement is as close to a definitive  statement about this abhorrent  Criminal Act I have ever read....

You Sir get a +1 from me as well!!


Tony V.                

[ForceU2Love]

Or is it neither? Or is it both?

I think the question is flawed.  The variations on what rape are, are endless!  It can span from the serial killer/rapist who kills and mutilates the body to the girl who the girl who rides the cock of the sleeping guy she's got a crush on!  There can be love, insanity, puppy love, misunderstanding, confusion, 50 shades of gray!
How could one ask, "Is Rape is an act of love or an act of hate"?  You're looking for a broad generalization?  I'm not sure what you meant to ask, but what that question actually asks is  generally, is rape an act of love or an act of hate, which is impossibly broad and kind of irksome!

[Brokenwing]

Or is it neither? Or is it both?

Real Rape is not about Love or Hate nor is it anything to do with Lust , Desire , Passion or about the victims clothing  they were wearing . I can speak from first hand experience as well as a listener to many victims . No I have not been a victim myself but there has been many times when I have felt like one . There are many scenarios and many variations of what took place during the Rape itself however 2 distinctive patterns emerged from discussions I had with the victims of trauma ( as I call them ) .

Rape is about " Power of control " over the Victim and making them do what the Rapist want's them to do against their will ,  this is always followed by " Anger " from the Rapist when the victim ( he or she ) says the word (  NO ) to them . From the Rapist point of view this is seen as defiance to their power over the victim and discipline is needed to reign them in with physical violence by way of slapping or punching or using fear as a weapon  by way of a gun or knife , until the victim submits to his power .

Real Rape is a  filthy , disgusting and abhorrent crime that leaves scars on the victims mind for the rest of their lives but it  also  leaves similar scars on anyone who knows about the victims attack . There is NO cure for any of this and the victim has a life time of mental problems , in all cases the victim is never the same person that you once knew and struggles to cope with life and relationships . All the victim can hope for is to suppress the trauma by way of talking to someone he or she trusts and gets the help mentally to be able to cope and regain some of their lives they have not lost but had taken away from them .

Fantasies are Fantasies and they should remain so and never be brought into reality by forcing someone against their will . Everyone has rights and the right to say the word NO ! Women have the same rights as Men and they must be respected at all times .

Vi

I also think this was well said. 

I think an interesting thing to explore is what is it that physically creates the arrousal and erection.  it seems some rapists rape victims they do not find attractive, a senior citizen, someone of the same sex, someone of a national origin or ethnicity that they are fighting or killing (in an act of war) so what in the human mind would arouse someone to then allow them to violate someone they don't find "attractive"?

Power makes sense but is that in itself "arousing"? 

[archon1980]

Let me preface my answer by saying, I was never abused in anyway by my parents, grandparents, uncle etc (Mother was only child, dad had only one brother).  Even though I had a brief 'sub' phase.  That being said, I would argue that if you love someone, you wouldn't hurt them.  Rape is a heinous, despicable act.  I cannot understand how some women have fantasies about being raped, but that's neither here, nor there.  That's just my own two cents.

[SubmissivePrincess]

I think it depends what the rapists motives are and what you are in relation to the rapist.  

If you are their enemy, its obviously about hate or power.    

If you're a stranger, its most likely lust.

 If they know you well and have been expressing feelings or desire for you, it may be about passion or at least what THEY believe is love-- as in they want you to be theirs, they want to have you physically/sexually and it overwhelmed them to the point they lost control and just took you.  That's usually my fantasy, feelings of desire or love that grew and grew until they overthrew rapist.  

And whether or not they believe they hurt you, or feel bad about it, really depends how it happened.  And who the rapist is / what kind of personality they have.  Not all rapists use guns or knives.  Not all of them beat you up.  We have sooooo many cases of "Was it really rape?" In the courts because a lot of the rapists just held the victim down long enough to have quick sex-- and it was over.  No big bruises, no busted lips, no bleeding.  Very little evidence of force.  That doesn't make it ok, or any less traumatizing.  I'm just saying, its not always he stereotypical image of rape we see in the movies with violent beatings, knives and gangs.    

If the rapist is a covert narcissist or a sociopath, they won't believe that they "hurt" you, just by holding you down and sexually penetrating you.  Those people truly do believe that if weapons, beatings or help from other attackers were not involved-- it simply wasn't rape.  ESPECIALLY if you are on a date with them, or you allowed yourself to be alone with them.  In that case, they just assume that deep down inside, you wanted them.   Most covert narcissists or a sociopaths have never killed or physically brutalized anyone, those are only extreme cases.  They just don't feel things like sadness, depression, trauma, empathy, etc.  And some of them are weird...    They will feel bad for you if you broke your leg (because they do understand physical pain) and they will even take care of you if you're injured or sick!  But they feel nothing for a person with a broken heart or a grieving person.   They don't understand the concept of emotional or mental pain. Or trauma.  Or grief.   They have never felt those things.  So therefore, they essentially don't believe those things exist.  Therefore, if they didn't seriously physically injure you...  They will never agree or believe that they "hurt" you, or that they have done any kind of harm to you.  

 So if such a person is attracted to you, or THINKS they love you (I say thinks because I don't really believe they understand what love actually is, but they seem t think they do)-- then they just might force sex upon you, and it will never cross their mind that they have done any wrong to you.   In their head, they did nothing more than express their desire for you.   And if you don't like how they did it, well...   Then YOU'RE the one with the problem, not them.   They figure you're just blind and a big drama queen, and you just misunderstood their intentions.  

Yes, there really are people who think like that.  I know first hand, because 'm currently MARRIED to one!  He has never raped me.  Never hit me.   He's not into that.  He won't even play rape fantasies with a safe word or anything.   He doesn't like it.    

BUT he is a covert narcissist and while he definitely DOES feel and have empathy for physical pain (some do, some don't), he feels absolutely ZERO empathy for mental or emotional pain.  He has directly told me he doesn't believe those things exist at all, and people like me just make them up out of boredom!  Or because we want attention.  

Currently trying to get my ducks in a row so I can leave him, because he is mentally/emotionally abusive with NO remorse-- and he constantly cheats.  Again, because he doesn't believe he is "hurting" me by cheating.  But yeah, people like that are out there walking around.  Its really quite scary...


 

[archon1980]

There is something to be said for the fact that rape has been used as a weapon in almost every war since the dawn of...wars.  Though in that case it's usually about 'breeding'.  Think Prima Noctum as mentioned in Braveheart.  Call it what you will, Prima Noctum was rape.  But I digress.

[lolifucker]

I think it's just an act of lust! It's the calming of an enter rave.