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Author Topic: When Rites Go Wrong  (Read 647 times)
Nyx
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But she'll catch you in her web <3



« on: February 27, 2015, 12:38:37 AM »

Warning: It's rapey-ish? Implied... I don't know. It's supposed to be rapey.

Warm summer nights are the best for Rites,
They offer clear skies and no wind.
Then along comes a man, that magick can't ban,
His invitation you can't rescind.
He ties you up by a tree, your clothing is free,
As he begins a night of sin.
Now you're moved to the ground, for a quick little pound,
And you'd rather have met a djinn.
Then he leaves you alone, and you're chilled to the bone,
Too exhausted to make a din.
You wake in the morn next to clothes that are torn,
And you realize it's half past ten.
So you conjure some magick, the man's fate is tragic,
But in the end, you win.


Please note: I'm actually working on a story with this but when I thought of the first line and it rhymed, I was like, "Yeah...let me just run with this." I don't do poetry though. At all. I will try to hurry with the actual story though because I'm really excited about it Cheesy
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vile8r
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« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2015, 09:30:48 AM »

Love this Nyx! Please.....do continue it into a story!
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« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2015, 10:50:54 AM »

For someone whom doesn't do Poetry, this is very well done! I agree with Vile, please continue this into a story..



Tony V.                     police
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darklord
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« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2015, 05:36:26 PM »

Yes yes yes!! Love the poem and the idea of you writing a story to it.

Can't wait.
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Nyx
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But she'll catch you in her web <3



« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2015, 11:42:51 PM »

Awwwwww thanks guys!! Grin

I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.
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deadbed
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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2015, 12:59:52 AM »

Hot
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shadowwarrior16
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« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2016, 06:50:16 PM »


I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.

um i dont think i remamber that version
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archon1980
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« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2016, 11:51:04 PM »

Wow nobodies posted in a while.  I guess I came late to the party.  I actually read the story first.  Loved it, love this.  Both are really good.
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Algore
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« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2016, 05:19:41 AM »


I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.

um i dont think i remamber that version

Nyx must have read an older version. The original versions of most fairy tales etc were pretty brutal...


Nice job Nyx!
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I don't know who you think you are but before this night is through... I'm gonna do bad things with you!

See my profile for a list of my stories!
Nyx
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But she'll catch you in her web <3



« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2016, 07:32:59 AM »

That's a nursery rhyme... And it's just some funny shit someone made up that I heard at one time.

Fairy tales are brutal because Europeans are fucking dark lol. My kind of people :)
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« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2017, 07:57:51 PM »

Wow nobodies posted in a while.  I guess I came late to the party.  I actually read the story first.  Loved it, love this.  Both are really good.
Where is the story? And why doens't Nyx seem to have an Author's Stories page? Nyx?
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