ravishu.com

January 17, 2017, 11:58:12 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Our users have posted a total of 167,887 posts.
This forum contains 11,855 topics.
We have 16,007 registered users.
Please welcome Kushie1, our newest member.
 
   Home   Help Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: When Rites Go Wrong  (Read 556 times)
Nyx
Masters Degree
********

Merits 43
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3,029




Ignore
« on: February 27, 2015, 12:38:37 AM »

Warning: It's rapey-ish? Implied... I don't know. It's supposed to be rapey.

Warm summer nights are the best for Rites,
They offer clear skies and no wind.
Then along comes a man, that magick can't ban,
His invitation you can't rescind.
He ties you up by a tree, your clothing is free,
As he begins a night of sin.
Now you're moved to the ground, for a quick little pound,
And you'd rather have met a djinn.
Then he leaves you alone, and you're chilled to the bone,
Too exhausted to make a din.
You wake in the morn next to clothes that are torn,
And you realize it's half past ten.
So you conjure some magick, the man's fate is tragic,
But in the end, you win.


Please note: I'm actually working on a story with this but when I thought of the first line and it rhymed, I was like, "Yeah...let me just run with this." I don't do poetry though. At all. I will try to hurry with the actual story though because I'm really excited about it Cheesy
Logged
vile8r
Masters Degree
********

Merits 46
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2,692





Ignore
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2015, 09:30:48 AM »

Love this Nyx! Please.....do continue it into a story!
Logged

I could rape your pussy, but I'd be in and out in a few minutes. So I choose to rape your mind, and I'll be inside you forever!
Tony V.
Masters Degree
********

Merits 151
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 7,314





Ignore
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2015, 10:50:54 AM »

For someone whom doesn't do Poetry, this is very well done! I agree with Vile, please continue this into a story..



Tony V.                     police
Logged

"Just turn around, put your hands behind you, and do what the Officer tells you"
darklord
Guest

« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2015, 05:36:26 PM »

Yes yes yes!! Love the poem and the idea of you writing a story to it.

Can't wait.
Logged
Nyx
Masters Degree
********

Merits 43
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3,029




Ignore
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2015, 11:42:51 PM »

Awwwwww thanks guys!! Grin

I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.
Logged
deadbed
Freshman
**

Merits 1
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 5




Ignore
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2015, 12:59:52 AM »

Hot
Logged
shadowwarrior16
Junior
****

Merits 1
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 142





Ignore
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2016, 06:50:16 PM »


I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.

um i dont think i remamber that version
Logged
archon1980
Senior
*****

Merits 2
Offline Offline

Posts: 372


You've made the volcano angry!




Ignore
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2016, 11:51:04 PM »

Wow nobodies posted in a while.  I guess I came late to the party.  I actually read the story first.  Loved it, love this.  Both are really good.
Logged
Algore
Graduate
*******

Merits 15
Online Online

Gender: Male
Posts: 1,077





Ignore
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2016, 05:19:41 AM »


I was worried that it's terrible. It kinda started out with the rhythm of Little Miss Muffet (completely by chance)  and I couldn't remember how the rhyme went. All I could think of was Llittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, 'hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?' It threw me off a tad.

um i dont think i remamber that version

Nyx must have read an older version. The original versions of most fairy tales etc were pretty brutal...


Nice job Nyx!
Logged

I don't know who you think you are but before this night is through... I'm gonna do bad things with you!

See my profile for a list of my stories!
Nyx
Masters Degree
********

Merits 43
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3,029




Ignore
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2016, 07:32:59 AM »

That's a nursery rhyme... And it's just some funny shit someone made up that I heard at one time.

Fairy tales are brutal because Europeans are fucking dark lol. My kind of people :)
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to: