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Author Topic: 5 Rules for Ravishees  (Read 17630 times)
Lord Ox
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« on: August 13, 2009, 10:16:25 PM »

Well, since Emily's a Dean here at Ravishment U, and I saw she posted Desmond Ravenstone's Ravishment 101, I'm thinking it's OK to share other 3rd party stuff.

Source: Ravnet.net

FIVE RULES FOR RAVISHEES by Lucrece

I've had sexual fantasies of being taken since high school.

When I decided to act them out, I had no idea of what to do.

I was very lucky to find someone who was patient and thoughtful, and I learned a great deal from him. Here are the most important lessons.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. What is your fantasy? Why do you want to act it out? Think about these questions and how you'll explain this to your partner.

CHECK OUT YOUR PARTNER. If you have a spouse or significant other, think about how he might react. Would he be open to doing this?

If you don't have a partner yet, take extra care in picking
someone. What do you know about this person? Do you feel
comfortable with him? How comfortable is this person with you and your fantasy? Is he as concerned for your well-being and pleasure as with his?

SAFEWORDS. When "No, stop!" is part of the fantasy, you need a way to say it for real. It can be a simple signal, like snapping your fingers or saying a code word.

COVER ALL THE BASES. Playing out a fantasy like this takes a great deal of care! Go over every detail in negotiating and planning.

Always ask yourselves "What if this or that goes wrong?" Then figure out how best to avoid potential pitfalls.

AFTERCARE. Don't just talk it over before, but afterwards, too. A ravishing scene is a very intense experience, and it's important to help each other process your feelings and experiences.
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Go ahead and struggle, it only makes me harder.
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« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2009, 02:47:53 AM »

I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.
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« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2009, 10:27:38 AM »

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.

Perhaps the best thing would be neither of these, but rather to broach the subject in conversation outside of the bedroom, and when there is no suggestion of imminent sexual activity.  And by broaching the subject, I mean the frank and open discussion of one's interest in rape fantasy.  Discussing it as a theoretical subject, rather than proposing it as practice to be immediately implemented, would allow for the detached examination of the fantasy by both parties.  The likelyhood of there being a perceived threat would be greatly diminished and the pressure of coming to a quick decision would be removed, for the most part.

Of course, this approach also serves to illuminate for us the strength and health of our relationship in general.  If there isn't sufficient trust and security between us to make such a discussion possible, then the relationship may well recquire a more serious appraisal.
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« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2009, 09:45:18 AM »

I think for a lot of women the tearing of clothing has to do with urgency and not force -- hence the notion of the entirely consensual 'bodice-ripper' romance.  It's a distinction one has to be cautious about.

And, I have to say, my impression is that non-consensual sex has a more prominent and accepted role in Japanese erotic culture than in the west.  Apart from the various artefacts that suggest this (film, pornography, anime, computer games ... I'm just surprised the Japanese don't have a rape-themed breakfast cereal [or miso soup or whatever]) my one Japanese partner was heavily into rape, plus clothing ripping.  No old clothes ever went to waste  Grin .

S.

I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.
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« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2009, 12:56:19 AM »

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.

Perhaps the best thing would be neither of these, but rather to broach the subject in conversation outside of the bedroom, and when there is no suggestion of imminent sexual activity.  And by broaching the subject, I mean the frank and open discussion of one's interest in rape fantasy.  Discussing it as a theoretical subject, rather than proposing it as practice to be immediately implemented, would allow for the detached examination of the fantasy by both parties.  The likelyhood of there being a perceived threat would be greatly diminished and the pressure of coming to a quick decision would be removed, for the most part.

Of course, this approach also serves to illuminate for us the strength and health of our relationship in general.  If there isn't sufficient trust and security between us to make such a discussion possible, then the relationship may well recquire a more serious appraisal.


lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)
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« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2009, 01:01:27 AM »

I think for a lot of women the tearing of clothing has to do with urgency and not force -- hence the notion of the entirely consensual 'bodice-ripper' romance.  It's a distinction one has to be cautious about.

And, I have to say, my impression is that non-consensual sex has a more prominent and accepted role in Japanese erotic culture than in the west.  Apart from the various artefacts that suggest this (film, pornography, anime, computer games ... I'm just surprised the Japanese don't have a rape-themed breakfast cereal [or miso soup or whatever]) my one Japanese partner was heavily into rape, plus clothing ripping.  No old clothes ever went to waste  Grin .

S.

I had a Japanese girlfriend once that I think was into rape play, but we never discussed it.  It sort of evolved in the bed we shared.  Without any conscious intent one night, I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly to the bed.  She responded by struggling ever so slightly.  The next night I went a little further and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her on the bed but then pinned her there with my body as I took her clothes off.  She struggled a little more.  I was ready to ask her to wear an old dress she did not care about and allow me to rip it off her, but we got distracted with other things, and then it was time for her to go back to Japan.

In another, short-lived relationship, I asked my bed-mate if she would wear black pantyhose for me.  She asked if I wanted to rip the crotch out, and I affirmed that I did with her warm approval.  I thought I had struck pay dirt with this little honey, but when I asked her on another occasion in bed if she would like me to rape her, she responded with an affirmative no and was not at all cuddly that night.  We broke-up shortly afterward.

The moral of this story is that exploring the possible interest in play rape with your lady can be risky, while taking the oblique, experimental approach of gently escalating bedroom activities is much safer.  If she is into the rape scene, she will play along each step of the way and may even advance the process her self.  If she is not, you will get a rebuff at some point and can apologize with plausible denial that you meant to be rough with her.


sharpshaft,  Boy am I jealous of you for your  (former ?) Japanese partner.  What a great score --- oriental beauty submitting to bedroom rape fantasies, hers as well as yours, I assume.  Have at it !!!!

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Lois
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« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2010, 12:53:34 AM »

Good thread
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So much oppression in our culture is based on shame about sex: the oppression of women, of cultural minorities, oppression in the name of the (presumably asexual) family, oppression of sexual minorities. We are all oppressed. We have all been taught, one way or another, that our desires, our bodies, our sexualities, are shameful. What better way to defeat oppression than to get together in communities and celebrate the wonders of sex?
The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
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« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2010, 06:07:32 AM »

Good thread

Does that mean, Emily, that you will put on a pair of black, patterned pantyhose for me, and we can go at it?   <<< heavy breathing here >>>  Well, a guy can dream; can't he?

Hugs and Kisses everywhere you want them and some places you don't,

Night Cruiser   Azn
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« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2010, 06:48:52 PM »

Good thread

Does that mean, Emily, that you will put on a pair of black, patterned pantyhose for me, and we can go at it?   <<< heavy breathing here >>>  Well, a guy can dream; can't he?

Hugs and Kisses everywhere you want them and some places you don't,

Night Cruiser   Azn


Sure!  With or without the strap-on?  emot_kiss.gif  Just joking.
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So much oppression in our culture is based on shame about sex: the oppression of women, of cultural minorities, oppression in the name of the (presumably asexual) family, oppression of sexual minorities. We are all oppressed. We have all been taught, one way or another, that our desires, our bodies, our sexualities, are shameful. What better way to defeat oppression than to get together in communities and celebrate the wonders of sex?
The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
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« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2010, 12:23:48 AM »

lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 
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« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2010, 08:48:55 PM »

Good thread


Sure!  With or without the strap-on?  emot_kiss.gif  Just joking.

Emily, you are making me blush  Shocked

I vote for strap-off.  I'm not much into doing or receiving back-door stuff, just dress-up nice and sexy for me, and I will take it (you) from there --- if that's o. k. with you, of course.   Cool

BIG kiss right back to you   emot_kiss.gif

Night Cruiser
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« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2010, 09:04:33 PM »

lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser
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« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2010, 12:58:15 AM »

lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



What fabulous ideas you have!  Sounds like a great date to me.
Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser

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Night Cruiser
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« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2010, 09:05:53 PM »

lecher,

You make a very plausible argument, however, I would still fear that she would judge me to be a pervert, and an otherwise great relationship would end.  If I felt strongly attracted to this person, I would be willing to sublimate my rape fantasies to have everything else the relationship could offer.  I can be satisfied with tamer sex or just keep my thoughts of rape to myself.  So even with mature people, there is a risk in exposing one's self.  I am not sure it is worth the risk.  (Or, maybe I am just a coward or lacking in some other way.)



What fabulous ideas you have!  Sounds like a great date to me.
Let me give you a female's perspective:  we want to know what you like.  We REALLY want to know what you like.  Unless you are with a prude or someone very shy, any woman you're involved with sexually wouldn't have a problem with you saying something like, "Um...could I tell you a kinky little secret about me?"  And ask for her kinky little secret's too. 

Now, I wouldn't suggest blurting out, "I have fantasies about rape!" because the word is enough to scare many woman.  It's definitely open to interpretation, isn't it?  If you said, "I'd really love to hold you down or tie you up and just have my way with you," you're probably going to be rewarded with moist panties.  Unless she's repulsed by the idea, go on and let her know what else you'd like to do with her.  "I want to rip your clothes off and pound into you while you struggle under me."  Sometimes--it's all in how you phrase it.

Go for it! 


Gingie,

You are very sweet to offer such sage advice.  Getting a female's perspective on such matters is rare, in my experience.  The ladies I have been with seem to expect that I should already know what they are all about or at least correctly interpret very subtle (from this male's perspective) hints.  I usually goof , hence my reluctance to venture into such dark and mysterious territory as the female mind.  I agree that the right phrasing is the key, but Lord, you women are not all alike and the variability in sensibilities is large. 

I think the ultimate solution to my problem is for YOU and I to hook-up.  What do you say?  Let me begin.  Gingie, I want you to wear some loose clothing you would not mind getting ripped to shreds and a pair of black, patterned pantyhose.  High heels would be nice but optional.  At the risk of offending you and scaring you off, permit me to say that I want to rip your clothes off, pantyhose excluded, toss you on your bed, and pin you down as you struggle to get free.  Then ..., well you know the drill.   emot_omfg.gif

Kisses,

Night Cruiser



Gingie,

I did not see anything new in your most recent post.  Shall I take that for a YES ???    emot_weird.gif     I sure hole so!!!!  Shocked

Kisses all over,

Night Cruiser   emot_omfg.gif





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« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2010, 03:33:04 PM »

Deepest apologies, darling!  My compliment for your wonderful ideas was lost in my bumbling attempt to use the 'quote' function. Let me state it again: you have marvelous ideas!  And I do SOOOO love a man with a dirty mind!   Evil
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