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Student Union (MEMBERS ONLY) => Power Exchange: philosophy, psychology, theory, and practice => Topic started by: Pfbdfan on February 22, 2016, 08:37:09 PM



Title: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Pfbdfan on February 22, 2016, 08:37:09 PM
What does everyone get the most pleasure from? Most "experts" think pple only find rape arousing for the power aspect of it. For me I just find it arousing to have a sexy girl be mine for whatever sexual desires I crave from her.
I've also heard there's the "hate fuck" arousel, domination arousel, punishment for some mistake someone made, among countless other reasons.
What does everyone relate to most? I know some kind of go with each other but what's the initial draw that excites you?


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Softnotweak on February 22, 2016, 08:42:20 PM
Um personally I'm trapped liking it ever since I was raped.  I guess to me it's trying to relive the moment with some kind of control to lessen the trauma.  The fantasies allow me to release the pent up emotions I have inside from it all without doing something truly self destructive.  Dunno if other people feel that way though...


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Strong in Heart on February 23, 2016, 05:02:58 PM
I understand completely, Katey. I feel exactly the same; the desire to relive the experience in a 'safe' environment.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: 9Fan on February 23, 2016, 10:24:31 PM
It's about the sex for me.  I'm like a kinder, gentler version of The Entity, having taken human form.  >:D


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Dire Wolf on February 23, 2016, 11:49:16 PM
Um personally I'm trapped liking it ever since I was raped.  I guess to me it's trying to relive the moment with some kind of control to lessen the trauma.  The fantasies allow me to release the pent up emotions I have inside from it all without doing something truly self destructive.  Dunno if other people feel that way though...

I've heard many other victims say that exact same thing, Katey. I've also heard of women who deal with the trauma by doing "something truly self-destructive," too, so I hope the fantasies help you and keep you safe. :-* Lean on us, your fellow students and hopefully, friends. ::):


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Algore on February 24, 2016, 06:23:14 AM
Um personally I'm trapped liking it ever since I was raped.  I guess to me it's trying to relive the moment with some kind of control to lessen the trauma.  The fantasies allow me to release the pent up emotions I have inside from it all without doing something truly self destructive.  Dunno if other people feel that way though...

I've long suspected that many female members of boards like this have the same outlook: reliving the experience on their own terms. Personally I think its a lot more healthy than drink/drugs or self-destructive behaviour. It also takes a lot more strength to face up to it than to avoid it with "self medication".





Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nyx on March 28, 2016, 08:04:55 PM
I've talked to my shrink about this. His best guess is that I have to be so bossy and in control all the time that I need just one part of my life where I have nothing. Which I suppose would explain why in my fantasies, I don't really have limits or choices.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Pfbdfan on March 28, 2016, 11:53:04 PM
As a gut and sexually i find it arousing but I can agree with you on ur point nyx but in the opposite meaning; I'm super alid back and don't fight hardest for what I want, others needs come before mine. But the thought of a rape fantasy where I'm 100% dominant control sounds amazing haha


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nyx on March 29, 2016, 12:06:58 AM
I'm pretty much your opposite then lol. Except when it comes to caring about other people's needs. That might just be a mom thing though. As far as fighting for what I want? I will fist fight someone for the last poptart in the house. Or just fist them. Whatever. But I will have the poptarts!!


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: jt84 on March 30, 2016, 11:54:53 AM
No pop-tarts for you, tart!   ;)  Not until you earn them, at least!


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: amber_married on March 30, 2016, 05:09:55 PM
I agree with those here that have been raped, reliving it in a safe environment is a huge aspect. That is partially to gain a sense of control back, but also to deal with the feelings I had during the rape, mentally, emotionally and physically.
It has really helped me work through a lot of guilt.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nyx on March 30, 2016, 09:34:46 PM
No pop-tarts for you, tart!   ;)  Not until you earn them, at least!

I'm crazy about pop tarts, but you don't even want to know what I'd do for a Scooby snack.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: LovaticRollinsfan on March 30, 2016, 10:20:41 PM
No pop-tarts for you, tart!   ;)  Not until you earn them, at least!

I'm crazy about pop tarts, but you don't even want to know what I'd do for a Scooby snack.

There's a place here that makes Scooby Snacks


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nyx on March 30, 2016, 10:52:46 PM
We have Scooby snacks here too. I'm forever getting people to buy them for me. It's character building, you know?


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: hornytheunicorn on July 18, 2016, 04:28:39 AM


I've heard many other victims say that exact same thing, Katey. I've also heard of women who deal with the trauma by doing "something truly self-destructive," too, so I hope the fantasies help you and keep you safe. :-* Lean on us, your fellow students and hopefully, friends. ::):

I just have to say, Dire Wolf, I love your icon! It's so cute, I just want to hug it. And by extension, I kinda want to hug you.

Ahem to get back on the topic of this post, I have my suspicions that my anal rape fantasies came from something that happened to me as a child that wasn't rape, but was ... well humiliating and painful in a kind of sexual way, even though it wasn't in a sexual situation. (Because enemas are kinda sexual, right?) Anyway, I don't fantasize about myself being raped and I don't even want to have anal sex at all, irl, but I do have fantasies about other, fictional women and men being anally raped, and I think it might be because I was forced to have enemas as a child. Actually, being anally raped irl is like the thing I'm most afraid of. I remember how much those enemas hurt and how humiliating they were and I can only imagine how much more painful and humiliating it would be if it had been a penis. But I like reading about it happening to fictional people, for some reason. I guess I like fantasizing about fictional people suffering my worst nightmare? Idk, my brain is weird.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: shamedanna on August 21, 2016, 03:02:30 PM
Um personally I'm trapped liking it ever since I was raped.  I guess to me it's trying to relive the moment with some kind of control to lessen the trauma.  The fantasies allow me to release the pent up emotions I have inside from it all without doing something truly self destructive.  Dunno if other people feel that way though...

Yes it`s the same with me although the being turned on thinking about it did`nt start until a few years after it stopped but now it`s my bigest turn on.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nyx on August 22, 2016, 03:18:26 AM
I used to have one when I joined here. Then it happened for real and it's no longer something that interests me. I can't even begin to understand the girls who joined after it happened to them. I guess we all deal with shit in our own way


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: shamedanna on August 22, 2016, 04:46:07 AM
I`m not sure why it is such a turn on for me now. While it was going on I hated it it never felt good in anyway. But now its something I find very hard to leave alone.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Mindfucker on August 31, 2016, 02:20:49 PM
I have spent much time wondering why I have rape fantasies.  I can recall thinking about raping when I was around 17-18, and then I spent many years without even really thinking about it. I figured it was just testosterone.  Then a few years ago I started fantasizing about rape again, and I have fed that craving through the internet.  I have a very healthy sex life with a woman who lets me indulge all sorts of fantasies, yet I am reluctant to talk to her about this one.  Sometimes I even scare myself; where do these dark fantasies come from?  Is it because I always felt powerless as a child?  Is my mind being corrupted by all of the crap I watch on the internet?  Is it just my cave-man genes?  I don't know.  At this point I am not too worried about understanding the cause.  I am more concerned with finding an outlet without landing in prison.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: KgC120 on September 19, 2016, 07:40:52 AM
I've talked to my shrink about this. His best guess is that I have to be so bossy and in control all the time that I need just one part of my life where I have nothing. Which I suppose would explain why in my fantasies, I don't really have limits or choices.

I agree with Nyx on this one. I am such a strong, independent woman that I fantasize about having complete control taken away from me. And being so desired that a man would like to own me. I guess from this aspect it is both about control but like Mindfucker said, (the person who started this post) I find there is a lot of sexual desire too.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: KgC120 on September 19, 2016, 07:46:25 AM
I used to have one when I joined here. Then it happened for real and it's no longer something that interests me. I can't even begin to understand the girls who joined after it happened to them. I guess we all deal with shit in our own way

Sorry to hear that Nyx especially since my first reply agreed with you that (we) are strong minded in RL and like to give up control. I have never been raped in real life and imagine it would not be at all like my fantasies. Our personal fantasies are where we ALWAYS are the one in control.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: KgC120 on September 19, 2016, 08:04:14 AM
I have spent much time wondering why I have rape fantasies.  I can recall thinking about raping when I was around 17-18, and then I spent many years without even really thinking about it. I figured it was just testosterone.  Then a few years ago I started fantasizing about rape again, and I have fed that craving through the internet.  I have a very healthy sex life with a woman who lets me indulge all sorts of fantasies, yet I am reluctant to talk to her about this one.  Sometimes I even scare myself; where do these dark fantasies come from?  Is it because I always felt powerless as a child?  Is my mind being corrupted by all of the crap I watch on the internet?  Is it just my cave-man genes?  I don't know.  At this point I am not too worried about understanding the cause.  I am more concerned with finding an outlet without landing in prison.

I have heard a lot of men who feel like you do. Something they fantasize but highly unlikely something they would every do in RL. I think you should ask your woman about this, because it will always nag at you and it would be the outlet you need without landing in prison. I think for men, the fantasies come from testosterone and cave man genes predominetly. Long before the internet, men have felt this way. Even the average" nice" guy has them.

I read a really interesting story was the daughter of Cher who had a sex change to become a man. She/he went from the name Lisa to the name Chase. She/he said that when he started hormone shots (testosterone) he started thinking about sex A LOT more than he ever had before. And he felt he became slightly more aggressive/assertive in general. I've heard it be said that men think about sex every 10 seconds (or something like that). I used to scoff at that but after reading Chase's story, it opened my eyes to why guys behave the way they do. I honestly feel bad for them in the respect of how incredibly annoying and disruptive it would be to having your mind be constantly dragged back to thinking about sex, especially if you are really trying to concentrate on a project or idea, etc.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Algore on September 20, 2016, 06:19:16 AM


I have heard a lot of men who feel like you do. Something they fantasize but highly unlikely something they would every do in RL. I think you should ask your woman about this, because it will always nag at you and it would be the outlet you need without landing in prison. I think for men, the fantasies come from testosterone and cave man genes predominetly. Long before the internet, men have felt this way. Even the average" nice" guy has them.

I read a really interesting story was the daughter of Cher who had a sex change to become a man. She/he went from the name Lisa to the name Chase. She/he said that when he started hormone shots (testosterone) he started thinking about sex A LOT more than he ever had before. And he felt he became slightly more aggressive/assertive in general. I've heard it be said that men think about sex every 10 seconds (or something like that). I used to scoff at that but after reading Chase's story, it opened my eyes to why guys behave the way they do. I honestly feel bad for them in the respect of how incredibly annoying and disruptive it would be to having your mind be constantly dragged back to thinking about sex, especially if you are really trying to concentrate on a project or idea, etc.


 I agree with you as far as the "caveman" genes. For thousands of years the men more likely to survive AND pass on their genes were the stronger and more aggressive types. In a primitive society brains don't count for much - muscle and violence do.

 Primitive human societies are a lot like animal herds/packs. The "Alpha Male" of a given group has more chance to breed - he is the most desired by the females. Many animals fight for the right to party I mean reproduce: defeating other males in physical combat proves superiority and guarantees mating privileges. Consequently the Alpha Male passes on his genes - and the next generation continues the cycle. primitive human societies aren't/weren't much different: a strong warrior or man of wealth and influence who was a good provider could have several wives - or (if polygamy was not permitted), have his pick of the available women since nearly all would be happy to have him.

 You might argue that modern society is not like that. Well it's not quite as brutal - but the same general approach applies. Women are still attracted to Alphas - sporting champions, movie stars, influencial politicians - or men who are just plain rich. The successful male has more breeding opportunities - for basically the same reasons. Women are biologically programmed to desire men who are strong/successful/good providers because those men have the greatest chance of providing for their children. To put it simply, I believe human society has advanced a lot faster than human evolution. So while we have the morals and values of civilised people we still have the basic urges of our caveman ancestors.




Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Dire Wolf on September 21, 2016, 01:57:56 AM
Well said, AG.
I fully agree.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: LovaticRollinsfan on September 21, 2016, 03:13:08 AM
We have Scooby snacks here too. I'm forever getting people to buy them for me. It's character building, you know?

Touche  (In my 2 Chainz voice)


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: gscmar64 on September 21, 2016, 06:09:35 PM
For me,i have to say it more about what i would never do in real life! Why destroy someone just to get a few minutes of physical pleasure that you'll forget the next time you see another woman.Even in the fantasies  you will not be able to control them unless they let you and most of my female friends would rather outright kill the person who do that to them than submit!


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: The Artist Formerly Known as Isis on September 22, 2016, 07:04:17 AM
I've been off the radar awhile now. Mostly trying to come to grips with this and similar topics so thought this a good place for me to rear my pretty little head.

Having done a bit of research I'm quite sure my rape fantasies amongst other socially questionable desires I have are connected to my very young childhood abuse. I feel these experiences form unusual connections and associations with sex.
For literally as long as I can remember I've associated sexual feeling with violence or pain. My first sexual thoughts involved pain before I even truly understood what body parts went where properly, that is the connection I had formed.
Though strangely there was no pain or violence in my actual abuse. Though I guess this is a physiological connection born of a mental pain manifesting in the only way a young mind can process it.

As an adult that trend continued and got muddied by natural inclination to want powerful and in control men in my life. So now I just want a wonderfully articulate, charming, violent rapist!

It's a very difficult thing to deal with as having an awareness that your sexual deviancies as an adult are not out of choice but are a result of unwanted childhood interference does taint things somewhat and makes you question what the hell you're doing indulging in those acts that caused you distress in your past. This is still something I am trying to figure out.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: PenitentGirl on October 29, 2016, 06:21:30 PM
I had a truckload of daddy issues which generated super-unhealthy fantasies for a young girl even before I was abused, primarily an attraction to men my father's age or older, and submissiveness and degradation.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ararria on December 08, 2016, 04:27:42 AM
Sexual and physical abuse - which led to alot of self-worth issues and host of other problems.

Still working on fixing and living with those issues, but certain types of sex are still the primary ways to get my body to respond.

Hope to explore one day, in a healthy relationship, those methods but still got a while before ready for that.

Until then, this place is filled with very nice people who let me write and the pressure valve in me can be released some safely.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: KgC120 on December 08, 2016, 05:22:46 AM

Still working on fixing and living with those issues, but certain types of sex are still the primary ways to get my body to respond.

I have the same problem/concern.

Quote
Until then, this place is filled with very nice people who let me write and the pressure valve in me can be released some safely.

I agree Ararria, I have met some very nice people. This website has allowed me to remove guilt I have carried.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Jman on December 19, 2016, 08:51:13 PM
As a guy, never really thought too hard about it. Was aroused when I saw "I Spit on your Grave"

Later, learned it a bit as a teenager, from the reverse perspective with a forced encounter that I wouldn't quite call rape.

Finally, after watching Max Hardcore, I was into it full tilt and it's been a very guilty pleasure ever since.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Laurasubslut on December 26, 2016, 06:39:08 PM
For me I think I like the idea of just being fucked and bred like a wild animal. Fighting against it but losing helplessly.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Skygazer on December 27, 2016, 09:13:30 PM
Being happily married and basically vanilla for about 15 years.

Miss some things or some feelings at least from before and with no responsible way to access those feelings.....have explored alternatives.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Tony V. on January 01, 2017, 08:52:48 PM
We would be more than happy to write or Role Play any scenario or story you'd like, Skygazer......

All you must do, is ask.


Tony V.             :police:


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: archon1980 on January 03, 2017, 07:11:35 PM
I'm a control freak plain and simple, A micro-managing control freak (emphasis on 'freak').


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ishtar on January 21, 2017, 07:19:00 PM
Mine stems from trauma and having a sex drive but not deriving pleasure from physical sex. As a child, I was seriously abused by some extended family members and subjected to a very horrible practice known as FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and sex is extremely painful for me. But I have a sex drive, so I tend to fantasize. And because my fiancée and I are both in the kink community, (I advise couples who are interested in BDSM and also worked as an agent for a fetish model for a year) rape fantasies or dubious consent fantasies are really prevalent.

I think people, especially people who've been abused (I am also a rape victim, actually a childhood rape victim), work through trauma in different ways. It doesn't normalize it, it just makes the sting less painful.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 04:26:23 PM
Mine stems from trauma and having a sex drive but not deriving pleasure from physical sex. As a child, I was seriously abused by some extended family members and subjected to a very horrible practice known as FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and sex is extremely painful for me. But I have a sex drive, so I tend to fantasize. And because my fiancée and I are both in the kink community, (I advise couples who are interested in BDSM and also worked as an agent for a fetish model for a year) rape fantasies or dubious consent fantasies are really prevalent.

I think people, especially people who've been abused (I am also a rape victim, actually a childhood rape victim), work through trauma in different ways. It doesn't normalize it, it just makes the sting less painful.

I agree. After going through childhood trauma i simply didn't know how to adjust to "normal sex." I  think [or moreso my therapist has said]  that this desire to engage in sexually destructive practice is my way of trying to pay penance for something that i still haven't accepted as not my fault.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ishtar on January 31, 2017, 04:51:04 PM

I agree. After going through childhood trauma i simply didn't know how to adjust to "normal sex." I  think [or moreso my therapist has said]  that this desire to engage in sexually destructive practice is my way of trying to pay penance for something that i still haven't accepted as not my fault.

Yes, there's definitely a feeling of needing to atone for something, even though I was too young to understand or know it was wrong. There's also this knowledge that I was raised to think all sex was wrong in some way so... might as well get to an extreme, I guess?


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 05:04:36 PM

I agree. After going through childhood trauma i simply didn't know how to adjust to "normal sex." I  think [or moreso my therapist has said]  that this desire to engage in sexually destructive practice is my way of trying to pay penance for something that i still haven't accepted as not my fault.


Yes, there's definitely a feeling of needing to atone for something, even though I was too young to understand or know it was wrong. There's also this knowledge that I was raised to think all sex was wrong in some way so... might as well get to an extreme, I guess?

Yeah the feelings after sex are always so mixed.  Happy, sad, embarassed,  confused, afraid,  vulnerable...it's just a cluster fuck.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ishtar on January 31, 2017, 05:19:31 PM

Yeah the feelings after sex are always so mixed.  Happy, sad, embarassed,  confused, afraid,  vulnerable...it's just a cluster fuck.

It's a strange, sad feeling, to be sure.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 05:51:23 PM

Yeah the feelings after sex are always so mixed.  Happy, sad, embarassed,  confused, afraid,  vulnerable...it's just a cluster fuck.

It's a strange, sad feeling, to be sure.


Yeah nothing like having to explain to ur gf why you need line 10 minutes to just cry or be by yourself after....le sigh


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ishtar on January 31, 2017, 05:59:06 PM

Yeah nothing like having to explain to ur gf why you need line 10 minutes to just cry or be by yourself after....le sigh
Oh sweetheart. No one should have to go through that emotional roller coaster. -hug-
The first (and last) time my fiancée and I tried to have sex, I ended up in the ER if that makes you feel any better. Through no fault of her own, we just learned very quickly how sensitive scar tissue in one's genitalia can be.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 08:07:49 PM

Yeah nothing like having to explain to ur gf why you need line 10 minutes to just cry or be by yourself after....le sigh
Oh sweetheart. No one should have to go through that emotional roller coaster. -hug-
The first (and last) time my fiancée and I tried to have sex, I ended up in the ER if that makes you feel any better. Through no fault of her own, we just learned very quickly how sensitive scar tissue in one's genitalia can be.

OMG how do you ever.......if I can ask


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Jed on January 31, 2017, 08:20:06 PM
In the time that I've been around, and we'll call that 4 years, I have seen so many girls that come here looking for answers to some trauma in their lives.  I've talked to many of them, and I've told many of them that they are not broken or damaged because of their past experiences (because they kept using those words).  I might have a tougher time convincing Daizy of that.

What do we think about places like this for you girls?  Is it therapy or is it dwelling on the bad things?  I know in at least one instance a girl was advised by an actual therapist not to come here (the girl having told them they did).  Sometimes I think it's getting the demons out, especially by writing.  Other times I'm just not sure.

This is on my mind a whole lot lately.  I lost someone.....we lost someone....


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Ishtar on January 31, 2017, 08:30:20 PM

OMG how do you ever.......if I can ask
I'm a victim of female genital mutilation, sadly. It damaged me a lot.

In the time that I've been around, and we'll call that 4 years, I have seen so many girls that come here looking for answers to some trauma in their lives.  I've talked to many of them, and I've told many of them that they are not broken or damaged because of their past experiences (because they kept using those words).  I might have a tougher time convincing Daizy of that.

What do we think about places like this for you girls?  Is it therapy or is it dwelling on the bad things?  I know in at least one instance a girl was advised by an actual therapist not to come here (the girl having told them they did).  Sometimes I think it's getting the demons out, especially by writing.  Other times I'm just not sure.

This is on my mind a whole lot lately.  I lost someone.....we lost someone....

The way I see it, they may have broken something about my body, but they won't break my mind. I went into law to protect girls like me, to eventually be able to lock up the political pundits who said it was okay to do something like FGM to little girls.

This place... it feels like therapy. It feels like a place where I can forget that I am (1) supposed to be a certain kind of person with a certain kind of goal and (2) supposed to be In Control of my life at all times. I like giving that up, especially when I write.
I'm editing a longform piece now -- I hope to have it properly edited in between chugging wine and writing briefs by the weekend.

But for other women, it may drag them down into the darkness. I did read about one of the board's members taking her own life and my heart aches for her. Therapy is different for everyone -- what works for some doesn't work for others. But that doesn't mean that the site itself is bad -- darkness sometimes closes in when you least expect it.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 08:35:20 PM
In the time that I've been around, and we'll call that 4 years, I have seen so many girls that come here looking for answers to some trauma in their lives.  I've talked to many of them, and I've told many of them that they are not broken or damaged because of their past experiences (because they kept using those words).  I might have a tougher time convincing Daizy of that.

What do we think about places like this for you girls?  Is it therapy or is it dwelling on the bad things?  I know in at least one instance a girl was advised by an actual therapist not to come here (the girl having told them they did).  Sometimes I think it's getting the demons out, especially by writing.  Other times I'm just not sure.

This is on my mind a whole lot lately.  I lost someone.....we lost someone....

My therapist has regularly told me that this is a bad idea for me to be here.  BUT I feel like ...I don't know it's the only place I have power sometimes I guess


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Jed on January 31, 2017, 08:47:33 PM
In the time that I've been around, and we'll call that 4 years, I have seen so many girls that come here looking for answers to some trauma in their lives.  I've talked to many of them, and I've told many of them that they are not broken or damaged because of their past experiences (because they kept using those words).  I might have a tougher time convincing Daizy of that.

What do we think about places like this for you girls?  Is it therapy or is it dwelling on the bad things?  I know in at least one instance a girl was advised by an actual therapist not to come here (the girl having told them they did).  Sometimes I think it's getting the demons out, especially by writing.  Other times I'm just not sure.

This is on my mind a whole lot lately.  I lost someone.....we lost someone....

My therapist has regularly told me that this is a bad idea for me to be here.  BUT I feel like ...I don't know it's the only place I have power sometimes I guess

When I was replying, I almost thought of saying 'a couple people' thinking of you (and what you just posted about a therapist).  I'm not sure I trust therapists when it comes to being here.  I doubt anyone has a clue about what 'here' is unless you've been here.  An outsider looking in has a very negative view of a rape site....go figure?


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 09:08:05 PM
In the time that I've been around, and we'll call that 4 years, I have seen so many girls that come here looking for answers to some trauma in their lives.  I've talked to many of them, and I've told many of them that they are not broken or damaged because of their past experiences (because they kept using those words).  I might have a tougher time convincing Daizy of that.

What do we think about places like this for you girls?  Is it therapy or is it dwelling on the bad things?  I know in at least one instance a girl was advised by an actual therapist not to come here (the girl having told them they did).  Sometimes I think it's getting the demons out, especially by writing.  Other times I'm just not sure.

This is on my mind a whole lot lately.  I lost someone.....we lost someone....

My therapist has regularly told me that this is a bad idea for me to be here.  BUT I feel like ...I don't know it's the only place I have power sometimes I guess

When I was replying, I almost thought of saying 'a couple people' thinking of you (and what you just posted about a therapist).  I'm not sure I trust therapists when it comes to being here.  I doubt anyone has a clue about what 'here' is unless you've been here.  An outsider looking in has a very negative view of a rape site....go figure?

Yea I wasn't sure if you were referencing me or not.....but after going throu my last bout with my rapist.....I've become less ashamed about addressing it publicly especially since he's now in federal prison  it may sound stupid but I just feel somehow free...


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Jed on January 31, 2017, 09:36:45 PM

Yea I wasn't sure if you were referencing me or not.....but after going throu my last bout with my rapist.....I've become less ashamed about addressing it publicly especially since he's now in federal prison  it may sound stupid but I just feel somehow free...

You won't be free for very long, not around here.  I know there are many individuals who are having decidedly 'unfree' thoughts about you......


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: [Bubbles] on January 31, 2017, 09:44:49 PM

Yea I wasn't sure if you were referencing me or not.....but after going throu my last bout with my rapist.....I've become less ashamed about addressing it publicly especially since he's now in federal prison  it may sound stupid but I just feel somehow free...

You won't be free for very long, not around here.  I know there are many individuals who are having decidedly 'unfree' thoughts about you......

LOL well I hope some of them get around to letting me know about it....


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Tony V. on February 01, 2017, 03:26:32 PM
My heart aches for those Survivors of ANY type of Sexual Abuse.

After thirty years of Law Enforcement experience, I've see far too many times the damage this series of Heinous Criminal Acts can, and does inflict.

We are ALL broken people here. Broken in our own unique ways. NO ONE has the right or the privilege to tell ANY of us how or when we are healed!! We all heal in our own ways.....

For Me, it was having to wake up My best friend at 2 in the morning, and having to inform him, and his wife, that their beautiful, intelligent 16 year old daughter was Raped after a party.......

She took her own life last year.......

My heart breaks for her Mother and Father.....


Tony V.                 :police:


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Brokenwing on February 02, 2017, 07:08:44 PM
I'm not sure how well my reply matches this thread but the time I came closest to taking my own life, I remember thinking about whom I could call to save me. . .my foster mom, she couldn't save me, she would only worry and then call me constantly to make sure I was okay but that would just make it worse. . .my best friend, she had her own problems if I called her to save me, it would just add more stress to her life and increase her own dispare...

I thought of new one I could call to save me but didn't have the guts to kill myself.  At my next therapy session I asked my therapist about it and she gave me a very profound answer. . .

"Do you know why when you were trying to think of who to call when you thought of ending your life you could not come up,with anyone" she asked?  "No" I answered.

"If you really truly wanted to end your life, do you REALLY think anyone could stop you if you REALLY wanted to kill yourself" she asked?

I sat there quiet several minutes, thinking of the ways I might do it and thinking of the friends and family I might call and you know what, after several minutes of thinking I understood the answer to her question was, "No."

She followed that up with a tougher question, "So who is the ONLY person who can stop you from ending your own life if that is what you think you want to do"?

Again I thought hard about my answer for several minutes, "Me" was the only answer.  Only I could choose to save myself.

I'll never forget those words and questions and answers.

Only I could decide it was worth continuing to live.

That was the last time I got close this actually ending my own life.

I want another minute, of another day.  I want to see another sunrise.  I want to feel another kiss.  I want to hold another person's hand. 

I didn't want to hurt those I cared about. 


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: KgC120 on February 06, 2017, 03:28:39 AM
There is a myriad of reasons why survivors of sexual assault of all forms seek out this site. None should be judged as unhealthy or self-destructive. There is an element of taking back control. Getting to deal with this in a person's own way, steps that they control.

Brokenwing,

It seems you have crossed the proverbial bridge of victim to survivor, to someone who could even thrive again. Wanting and knowing you deserve good things in life, things that someone tried to take away from you, makes you courageous in my book. This does not mean you won't have days of doubts or feel like you've taken three steps back sometimes. But now that you been to the other side it makes back to what is now familiar territory that much easier every time. Instead of it being something elusive and out of reach; you've achieved survival, the ability to thrive, and victory over your tragedies. Your abuser(s) wanted you to feel like shit the rest of your life. As the saying goes, the best revenge is to live well.

Thank you, as always, for sharing your inner workings and processes you use to deal with what you have endured. And for sharing a moment of epiphany you experienced with your therapist. What you share is always important. For those of use that have stood at the edge of the precipice of no return, that you turned back is hope to those that are there. There will be some that no matter how hard they try, the burden is too deep to cope with. We lost one of those types of angels recently. In our hearts, those of us who cared for her and watched her struggles know that she had made up her mind. Her choice does not make her less of a person. Despite her fragileness, she left behind POSITIVE impressions that we will carry forever. Being a fragile person is not a detractive trait, it is what is. Like the way some people prefer the color yellow over blue. Just differences in people. Neither good nor bad.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Druidtoad on February 12, 2017, 02:49:41 PM
I would put the fantasy of rape, in the same category as most role playing fantasies, in that, its done with complete trust, its consensual, and its done with safety.  A fantasy about rape isn't really rape, because the person who wants the fantasy can end it if its organised.  In a manner of speaking, rape fantasies is essentially rough sex, with elements of BDSM added to give it that effect.  The rapist (dom) controls what the victim (sub) does in the act.  But like any fantasy, you can get the best out of the experience by planning, and the way to plan is to simply express what each person wants to get out of it, explore fantasy ideas, and then work out from it.

If I did a rape fantasy, it would be because its what my girlfriend liked, although I'd prefer being the rapist rather than the victim, but I'm open to negotiations.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Houdgreep on February 18, 2017, 10:53:55 AM
Sorry for the 'experts', but my fantasies are lust-driven. It's about struggle in a way, the more she struggles and the more difficult it is to have her, the more desirable it is. Doesn't even have to end in rape fantasy, the Brunhilde type that challenges I find attractive too.

And these days, there's a strong breeding element in it. More often than not, in my fantasies she gets pregnant from it.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: tesstaytay on March 13, 2017, 09:48:40 AM
Real life experiences leading me into "hypersexual" (ty Eljorn and badcorps187 for explaing and introducing me to that word) behavior. Slowly that behavior led to thoughts about abuse and self abuse.


Title: Re: Reasons for rape fantasy?
Post by: Nero on March 18, 2017, 09:58:52 PM
To some extent I think I was born this way, in that I've had thoughts of owning/controlling/using women sexually since an early age - and with no prior influence from mainstream movies or porn (in fact, long before I ever saw porn).

Also, I am extremely attracted to women who are sexually submissive, especially if they wish to roleplay rape - and/or if they consent to being used whenever I want.  Some of these women have prior history of rape, and I suppose that inspires a sort of paternal instinct in me, as well as lust.  Some of these women were never raped or abused, they were just born kinky and submissive and extreme, and I also relate to that.