Author

This is inspired by "College: For Self-Discovery and Fun!" by Soft Game Hunter.  Excellent fantasy, especially compared to the usual fare of men writing lesbian sex scenes.  Okay, the "Lesbian" part is a bit of a stretch.  The attacker is obviously a Sadist, and may even be homophobic.  But "I don't want to sound homophobic, but;" liberal homophobic.  Just to change things up, there aren't any Lesbians in this one.

;

Lacy

"You know, it's not safe to walk alone, at night."

I nodded, "I don't know anyone here."

"You're new, freshman right?"

I shook my head, "Transferred."  I saw other girls, walking together, and looked back.  "Um, is it really that dangerous?"

"Depends on who you ask, the administrators don't really want to talk about it, but my friends.  There have been some attacks."  She nodded, "I don't think he's a serial rapist.  It's probably just random frat boys."

"Why, are you, uh."  What's the word, "A criminologist?"

"Studying psychology, with a minor in criminal science, and investigation, but not forensics."  She wrincled her nose, "Chemistry."  Shook her head.

"Oh, so it's like a mystery."

"Yeah?  Ha, men are, such a big mystery.  Probably because they hide their feelings, until they get you alone.  If they don't just wait for you to wander off alone, in the dark.  You know, you should put your hair up?"

"I," pull my hair back from my face, "You think, so?"

"I know so, especially when you smile.  You stay at the dorms?"

"Oh, no."  Didn't qualify.  "I got a room, off campus."

"Well, let me get you home, and I'll show you?"

"Okay, sure."  I'm shy, so.  I'm not used to needing friends, for my safety, but I noticed.  Most of the girls traveled in packs, even in high school, and she wouldn't believe that I never had a makeover in my whole life if I told her.  Little sister, by the time she got old enough for makeup, she already had friends for that.  

I had books, instead of friends, and holding my Organic Chemistry book up to my chest, I realized I was hugging it?  I don't know, I heard about, attacks.  In high school, girls talked.  I had a boyfriend, and he was kind scary.  Not to me, but he scared all the other boys off, and we didn't want to do the long distance relationship thing, so we decided together to see other people.  That was over a year ago, when I left for college, before I transferred here.  "Well, I'm a chemist."

"You know anything about forensics?"

"A little.  Just the basics.  It is such a common application for organic chemistry, I may wind up working in a crime lab, but it's not a focus, at this point.  I haven't really decided what kind of lab I want to work in, I just."  Shrug, "Love chemistry?"  She obviously doesn't.  

"Oh, cool!  Where's your car?"

"Oh, I walk.  I don't."

"Well, show me the way?  I don't know how to get there, so I'll follow you."

I'm glad she was there, though.  Who knows what might have happened, if she hadn't decided to walk with me?  I didn't even think about that.

;

You know the type.  She said it herself:  "It's like a mystery?"  I saw her around, walking around, literally with her nose in a book.  No glasses, but I guess that's a cliche.  Probably even needs them, with the way she held it up, so close it was as much of a blinder as her hair hanging down, around her face.  So, she's not aware of anything around her, so absorbed in Chemistry.  Organic chemistry, ew.  I passed regular chemistry, because it makes sense, but "Uh!  For some reason, once a Carbon gets involved, every time you mix an acid, and base, there's always something left over.  Like the Product, and the Remainder, in long division?"

"Yes, but that's what makes it interesting, to me."

"I don't get it."  She shrugged, but she doesn't talk much, neither.  More mystery I guess, but she is pretty.  Really pretty, even though she tries so hard to hide it, and what's up with that?  It's not a defense mechanism for men.  She doesn't even appear to be aware of men, or anything else out of her Chemistry books.  I guess that's what it is about her.  I just want to know what makes her tick.  Mostly in the library, staying in the library all day, until they kick her out, so they can close it up.  Isn't that boring?  Doesn't she get bored at all, going to Chemistry class, then Chemistry lab, then going to the library to read about Chemistry the rest of the day?  All day, every day, nothing but Chemistry, like she's got a 1 track mind.

"I guess it's like the way the mind works, for me.  It's complicated, like an organic aromatic molecule, but it doesn't follow the rules.  Especially men, criminal men who know the rules, and break them because they can.  Especially sociopaths, like serial killers."  And rapists, but you don't want to say that out loud.  Not to her, walking through the dark between the streetlights, but not alone.  Not no more, with me here, but I'm not here to protect her.  

She's not scared though, and she has no idea how sexy her body is, I don't think.  Usually I'm better at reading people, but even with her hair tied up.  Out of her face with the tie I pulled off my wrist.  Pulled her hair back, and held it, to bind it at the back of her head, and hold it.  Her beautiful face, honestly.  She's not just pretty, that's not a powerful enough word.  It doesn't have enough strength to it, she's gorgeous, ravishing, and just looking at the way she dresses.

As if she doesn't even think about it.  Like when she woke up this morning, she had her head so full of molecules, and interactions, she just picked up clothes, and put them on.  With no thought to it, how they look, on her body.  Most girls either dress to flatter their bodies, or cover them up, but I think she actually dresses just to have some clothes on, because that's what people do.  Normal people wear clothes, so i better put something on.  They might think i'm weird, if i don't.

Maybe she doesn't look in the mirror, if she even has a mirror, and now it's getting harder and harder.  To think that she does, or if there's one in the room.  There must be one in the bathroom, whatever bathroom she has access to, whether it's one of the cheap apartments nearby the campus, or any of the boarding houses which have rooms that you have to share a bathroom, but not the room like a dorm room.  So yeah, I want to know more about her, but you have to poke her with a stick just to get her to open her mouth, much less give anything up.  So, it's like an interrogation, but I'd get it out of her.  I'll get everything I want out of her, as soon as she gives me the chance.

After all, she's utterly without any defenses, because she never looks up from her books long enough to see the danger, right behind her...  "You hungry?  Didja eat anything all day?"

"Oh, no."  She thought, actually touched her stomach, under her sweater, and the book.  Held up, one handed over her tits.  "i guess i forgot."

Cooped up in the library all day, but I don't say that.  She might think I've been following her, all day if I say something like that.

"Uh, thanks for walking me home."  I tried to be polite, but she sure talked about men a lot.  I think she's sexist, or reverse sexist, but it was all so negative that once I shut the door, and got up to my room, I felt heartbroken.

I'd heard it, #NotAllMen, and I thought I'd gotten over him.  "Gregory," but everything she said about how heartless, and predatory men can be just reminded me of all the ways, he's not.  At all like that, in fact just the opposite.  Like the name "Greg."  He hated it, and I always called him Gregory, because.  "Huhn!"  Honestly, I love it.  "Gregory," just saying it takes me back, so I could remember him.  Being with him, and the years we studied together.

We had so much in common, he's so smart, and caring, and he never had any trouble talking about his feelings.  He never hid his feelings for me, and yet.  He patiently waited until I was ready to do something about them.  He didn't pressure me, he would have waited until we were married, and.  I didn't want to leave him.  

"I should call him," but now I'm so horny, and remembering that night.  That special night, when we said goodbye, but.  "Goodbye for now."  He amended.  "Huh!  I can't wait!"  It makes sense, that we see other people while we're away from each other.  Until we can be together again, and I hope we can work together.  Professionally, that would be ideal, but even if we don't.  We don't have to spend every waking hour together, and it's not even remotely realistic in the first place, "I just miss you, so much!"  but I can dream, right?

I'm a grown woman, with needs, and sure I get plenty of offers, but there's something wrong with them.  All of them, they're not him.  They're not Gregory, so I'm not in love with them.  I don't want to fall in love with them, or lead them on, because there's no place in my heart for anyone else.  Even though I know intellectually that the heart is just an organ, a muscle to pump blood to the tissues, that doesn't change how I feel.  How it races, and beats deeply enough to feel, thudding in my chest, and thundering in my ears.

"Huh!  HUH!  HuhHhHhHhH!"  It's not the same, without him.  "Gregory."  But it's enough.  For now, but I need to wash my hands, and then pull open the drawer in my bedside.  "Snh!"  Smell the sweet cherry cavendish, and get out his pipe.  His old pipe, he gave to me to remember him, and how could I forget?  Going out the window, onto the.

I suppose it's a planter holder.  There's planters in some of the other ones, around the building.  Fire escapes too, but no balconies.  Just a half foot of wrought iron bars, I have to wonder what happened to the planter that was here, but there's not even boards left of it.  Holding the match, so the sulfer burns off, then drawing in a mouthfull.

"Pw, pw."  I don't like cigarettes, and I'm not even a smoker, but, it's his pipe, and after the wonderful climax.  "Snh!"

It's the smell, and I know it will cling to my clothes, and my hair.  Well, the robe I put on, after I pulled off my sweater, and tie, and blouse, and bra as fast as I could when I got home, but it's a nice night.  Cool, and even quiet enough to hear the drunk students, laughing in the bar.  Below, it usually bothers me, but I missed the sunset.

Oh well, it wouldn't be the same without him.  "Huh!  Gregory!  Pw, pw."

"What's WRONG with You!?"  It must have been something I said, but it wasn't "aren't you going to invite me up?"  I thought we agreed on a makeover, so I could see her face better, but I guess I turned her off.  Ironically, there's no chemistry between us, but I'm starting to think she just doesn't like people.  It's not just me, it's anyone, but I finished my beer, and left the glass on the fence.  No outside food or drink, and of course you can't just drink a beer right out on the street, because what if someone sees you?  But I have to go out, across the street just to smoke a cigarette, because that's 50 feet away from the entrance.

Sure, you can pickle your liver, right out on the sidewalk, but we wouldn't want anyone to get secondhand smoke.  Someone came to pick up the glass.  Before someone knocked it off, leaning up against the square tubing, with the stainless cable strung in an X between the pannels.  Laughing with their friends, drunk.

"You got another cigarette?"

"Yeah."  Blow it in his face.  "I do."  nlm.

"Dyke."  He doesn't take rejection very well.

Oh, right, because I don't melt into a puddle of sensuous feelings at the sound of his voice, using such a great pickup line.  "Fucking bum!"  I must be a lesbian.  "Why don't you dig buts out of the trash like a fucking bum, you fucking bum!?  You think this is a free country?"

"Leave me alone, you crazy psycho bitch?  As if you know me, or I even want to know your ugly ass, just because I wanted a cigarette.  I wasn't hitting on you, man-hating reverse sexist."

"It's not reverse sexism, you Cretan.  It's just sexism, it's not reversed when a woman does it.  That's sexist."

"Oh, I get it.  You must be one of those Social Justice Warriors."

"Guess again?  Maybe if you keep guessing, you might hit on something true, out of trial and error.  I'm not a lesbian, so cross that off the list.  I'm not a Social Justice Warrior, because that's a myth.  Vaporware, they don't exist.  So, you call a woman a Unicorn, and that means you don't have to listen to her, is that how it works?  Here."  tap a cigarette out of my pack.  "You need a light, too?"

"What's this for?"

"Well, you're kinda cute, when you're trying to think, and I'm horny.  Why don't you let a woMan pick you up for a change?  What're you doing tonight?"

"I didn't make any plans."  He looked me up and down.

"Well, other then jacking off when you inevitably struck out, but you're a pretty bright man, right?  You're willing to put up with an ugly psycho bitch's shit for a sure thing, aren't you?  What d'you say, you wanna fuck?"

"Yeah, all right.  Let me stop bye the store, and pick up a pack of smokes."

"You got any rubbers?"

"And a pack of rubbers, too."

I lied, he's not real bright, but at least he can learn.

She came in, and grabbed a six pack, while I was up at the counter.  Dropped the 3 pack of Trojans on the calander to check your age.  [We ID]

"Yeah, let me get a pack of Marlboro Red, box.  Shorts."  Pill a red Bic off the stand, "And one of these."  Hold up my wallet, pulling out a 10 to show my license.

I get it.  She's Empowered.  Bossy, but I like that.  With her filthy mouth, dropping F-bombs with authority.  Pack them out front, while he cards her.  Again, she got a beer back at the bar too, but we got off on the wrong foot.  She's hostile, but why don't you let a wo Man pick you up for a change?  She stressed the Man, because she's a man hater.  Too bad she likes to fuck, so I'll let her do the fucking.  

I've been with the ladies, and you know what?  These hate-fucks are a hell of a lot more fun in bed.  They're not all wine me, dine me, take me!  then lie there like a doll.  Honestly, if i wanted some drunk chick, passed out, I'd hit up the campus like a frat boy, but that's rape.  And I don't have to rape.  Jack off when I strike out, neither, but am I going to turn down a sure thing, just because she's sex-psycho, and hostile?

No, she wants to fuck, I want to fuck, and I'm not judgemental like that.  They don't get all bitchy when you don't call back, she started out bitchy in the first place, because she's a bitch.  Doesn't even try to hide it, "Come on, before I change my mind, and sober up enough to realize what you look like."

See?  I bet it's because she's ugly, but I don't care about that.  I don't need a paper bag, or to turn her over so all I have to look at is her ass.  It's not her best side, but I have to admit, I noticed.  No, I wasn't trying to pick her up, I left the bar to buy some smokes, because they want almost 10 bucks a pack behind the counter, and I didn't want to wait to make it around the corner, but whatever it takes, to get her hot.  Fine with me, if she wants to slap me around, and call me names?  I'm down.

She a bitch, but I like bitches.  Even ugly bitches, they appreciate a good fucking when they can get it.  "What's that?" I finished my cigarette, "Warsteiner?"

"Varsteiner, it's German."

"Well, at least it's not like one of those hoppy bitter IPAs, right?"

"Ha!  Yeah, it's good."  She pulled out a lighter, wedged it under the cap, and popped the lid off one.  "Here."  Set down the carton, and got one for her too.

"Kah!  Yeah.  Siph!"

"Just the thing to wash down a load."

She went right for it.  Right out here, well, not on the street, but she didn't push me back that far down the alley.

"You really, go for what you want!"

"Smop, spbP!  Heah!  Huh!  Well, don't just stand there, grinning like an idiot.  Get out a rubber, if you want to get fucked."

"Oh, yeah."  When she said wash down a load, I was expecting a quick beej, but she just got it wet, and hot, and hard in her mouth, then stopped to pop it on like a little rubber cap.

"Mh, wolL!"  Rolled the rest down, bobbing her head, and slurping.

I took another slug of her German beer.  "Kah!"  This Varsteiner, mitt ümlaut!  It's pretty fucking good!  She's got good taste.  "Yeah."  Real good taste, and a hot little body.  When she can shut her fucking mouth, but I had to pick her up.

"Uh!  Huh!  Hold nhm!"  She relaxed, and slipped down a little more.  "Hhuh!  Yeah."  Holding her knees, up against the wall so she could slide back up, and sink back down on it, with all her weight.  "Huh, uhn fuck!  At least you've got a decent sized dick.  Mh, yeah, huh!  Huh!  Huh, huh huhuhHuh UH!  UH?"

"Fuck this."  I let her legs down, so I could feel her tits.  "Turn around."

"Uh, just fuck me.  Dick, that's all you are, isn't it, you fucking dick?"

   Whatever.  just pull up her pants, and.  Weird underwear.  Just straps around her but, but no thong up the crack.  So there's nothing to get in the way, all I have to do is slip it up her juicy dripping cunt, and bent my knees.  

"Huh!  Hihn!  Fuck!  Me, hardrh!  Yrh hard rh!  You can do me better than that fuck me like a man!  Like you mean it you pussy nhm!  Hm, NHhn!  HhihahHhHh!  AaAaAaAaAH!"

I just wanted to get it over with.  If she could just shut her fucking moth for one second so i could think, but she got off on it.  

"Huh!"  And I felt her.  "Uh, HhuhH!"  Squeeze my off inside.  "HhuhHhH!"  Let go of her tits, and just feel down her sides of her hips.  Squeeze her ass one more time before it went soft and slipped out.  "Good fuck."

"Yeah, huh!  Huh, canI.  Can i get your number?  In case I want another good hard fuck like that?"

"Sure."  I made one up.  What the help, she wants to act like a man?  Fine, I'll treat her like a man, and give her the wrong number.

Like she'd call me anyway.  Nice to fuck you, but that's it.  Like I ever wanted to know her.

"Bitch."

;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4HvNyk1VOg

He's got something to prove.  Even if it's "I'm not a dyke," because introspection isn't really his thing.

She came back.  "Are you following me?"

"No," she held out the band over her shoulder.  To show me, [Take Back the Night.]  "I'm here for the meeting."

"I didn't see you in there."  She just hung around out front, or showed up after we started.

"Huh!"    "I know I got off on the wrong foot, but is this your first meeting?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, they probably warned you that because it's for LGBT students, it's likely to attract homophobes.  That's what I'm here for, so you want to walk home alone?"

"No, it's all right.  I'm sorry, really.  I just wanted to be alone, because I'm an introvert, and that's how I process.  Without distractions, but i came here to talk about things I can't, with normal people."

"Oh, I totally understand that."

"You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Yeah, I'm bi."  She shrugged, "I just don't need therapy for it."

"It's not just therapy.  It's also a place were we can be comfortable around people like us."

"If you don't like drag queens."  She nodded, "There's bars too, but.  I get it, yeah.  It's nice to just hand out without worrying about drag queens."

"What's your problem with them?"

"I don't have a problem with drag queens, I guess they're territorial, I don't know what their problem is, with me, but they sure don't like me."

I wonder why, but I just nodded, politely.  "You don't mind me asking, if you're gay, or bi?  Quid pro quo."

"No, I'm.  Not bi, I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty devoted to him."

"So, by process of elimination, let me guess.  You're not a lebian, gay, or bi, so that just leaves transexual, or asexual?"

"Well," my face heated up, "I'm not asexual."  I nodded.

"So, you want a sex change?"

"No, I.  I'm not going to get an operation.  Huh, how much do you know about Gender Disphoria?"  I just remembered, "You're a psych student, right?"

"Psyche, and criminal justice, uh huh?"

"Well, then you're familiar with the terms pre-op, and post op.  Right?  Yeah, so if i had to pick a label, I'd say non-op.  I don't want to get surgery, to have anything added, or taken away.  I didn't get the body I wanted, but I don't like surgery, neither.  So, i decided to just take hormones."

"Like steroids?"

"No, like.  Huh, you don't like chemistry."

"Oh, no.  I don't like doing chemistry, but I'm prying.  I know it's personal, and I was pretty pushy the other night too.  So, let me apologize.  I didn't mean to hit on you so hard, and I had no idea you're already in a relationship, so I blundered, and I'm sorry."

"All right.  It's okay, I just.  Huh!  I forgive you."  It's nice, really, to talk to her.  Sure she does all the talking, and "I didn't even notice you were hitting on me, and I'm flattered, but.  I am, in a dedicated relationship.  So, we can just be friends, okay?"

I saw the muscle in her jaw.  Even if I didn't hear her gritting her teeth, but then she relaxed.  "Sure.  Didja eat?"

"No, I forgot."

"Well, there's no reason why we can't stop to eat on the way home.  Let me take this stupid thing off."  She folded it up, and stuck it in the pocket.  "It's annoying anyway, but I'm here as a friend."

"Where do you like to eat?"

"Well, I already had dinner, but there's this great pub, and they've got great food.  What do you like to eat?"

"Oh, I don't know.  I don't really, like to eat.  I just have to."

"Well, come on.  They've got great onion rings, and if we get the double order, we can split them?  Dutch treat, they'll split the tab too, if I tell them to.  That way, it's not like a date."

"Okay."

;

They had to card her, but the mystery deepened?  I thought she might be queer, because she smoked a pipe.  Never seen her take an interest in anyone, at all.  In fact I basically had to force her to look up from her books, and get her hair out of her eyes.  High risk, but now I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Hormones, not steroids, but that doesn't narrow it down very much, and damnit I suck at chemistry.  "You think you could help me with my Chemistry?"

"Mhm?"  She looked up from the menue.

"I guess that's what stressed me out so much.  It makes me feel kinda stupid, because it's the only thing holding me back, but I have to pass it to get into pharmacology, or switch majors to Criminal Justice.  I just don't wanna be a cop."

"Why not?"

"Huh!"  I have a record, and I probably wouldn't pass the psyche exam for the FBI, neither?  "I don't know, they're not very effective, for one thing."  She looked down, and I stopped rubbing my arms.  Holding them across the table, so I slipped my elbows off, and sat back.  Put my arm up on the back of the booth.

"You're butch."

"Yeah, I guess.  I mean, it's not like an act, I don't act butch, it's just my personality."

"Asshole?"

"Uh, huhahahaha!"  Shake my head.

"You girls figure out your order?"

"Yeah, let me try the ruben.  Corned beef, and you got Russian Dressing?"

"They can whip some up in back."

"Instead of thousand island."  She handed her the menu.

"How about you, Darla?"

"I'll have a beer."

"Be right out."

"I don't mean to be offensive, but I can't help thinking, I'm not going to hurt your feelings."

"No, ha.  I laughed cause it was funny.'  And unexpected, "I don't wear the label, with any pride, but I don't mind being called an asshole.  Now that you mention it, I can't remember the last time someone called me that, to my face."  More often than not, they call me a bitch.

"Well, since we're being open, and honest, I have to say your negativity is a little, abrasive.  So, you think you could tone it down, a little?  I mean, I don't mind walking home with you, as a matter of fact, you do make me feel a whole lot safer, because everyone seems to be afraid of you, but all the sexism is really starting to get on my nerves."

"I'm not."  Going to say, such an obvious cliche'.  "Huh, do I really come off as, sexist?"

"Well, it's not just that, but, really?  Yeah, it seems like you're trying to hard, to be everything that pisses you off about men."

"Oh."

"So, as your friend.  I don't want to lie, and pretend that it's not a problem.  You're a psychology student?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, I don't think they make a pill for that, and I don't know shit about psychology, but you said it yourself, you don't need therapy for that?"

"Well, I said for being queer."

"Mhm?"  She looked up.

"Here's your beer."

"Thanks."

"Your sandwitch'll be right out."

;

Author  (Quote)

"I said to a guy, 'Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?'

and he said, 'Because it intensifies your personality.'

I said, 'Yes, but what if you're an asshole'?"

~B. Cosby (Himself.)

Also note:  This story fails the Bechdel Test right out the gate, because of the setup:  2 female characters having a conversation...

Without a man butting to explain how they're actually wrong.