Author
This plays into one of the fears, of transphobic men: The "Trap," men who crossdress, or get sex changes to lure them into homosexual contact. A complete, and utter fantasy, and it isn't even mine, but TW: If one of us where to do such a ludicrous thing, she would do so for Social Justice, not because she's "Gay," and wants a piece your straight guy ass.
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Fawn
"Huh!"
You ever read those stories, where a woman goes out, and announces her bra size to the world? Looks in the mirror and poses, to flatter her 38DDs, then gets dressed up so hot and sexy to find a man to slut it up with?
Like any guy wakes up in the morning, and checks the mirror to make sure his eyes are still green. Gets out a ruler, before the morning wood goes away. "Yup, still 9 inches. Whew, thank god!"
Who actually thinks like that? I'm curious, I don't know why I was dreaming about that. Probably because I passed out reading another rape stories online, and I guess I just kept writing them in my head again.
"Hyearh!" Stretch, and open th curtains.
Cloudy day, overcast, I don't wake up in the morning to begin with. I stayed up all night, struck out, and satisfied myself with stories of horror, and sexual violence. They fascinate me, what makes a man so depraved that he likes to see women like that. Not just hurt, brutalized in the sickest ways imaginable, but as a collection of organs.
"Huh!"
I let the measuring tape slip off, and pick up my padded water-bra from the towel bar.
Write down [No measurable change] and start getting dressed. Skip the shower, I had one last night, and "Snh?" They don't care what I smell like. Not all men, but the kind I'm interested in.
"Obsessed with is more like it," but pulling on my underwear, tuck in,
"Huh!' And scootch the tight padded hip inserts into place.
Check the mirror, feeling my chin.
My lip. I should probably shave, but
One of the perks of being a natural blond is it doesn't show for days. I know I'm ugly, I was a "Pretty boy," but unfortunately that didn't translate to my face as a woman. So, I have to dress to ensure that men look at my body instead, and put on makeup.
And music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbeBLvMFAcsFoundation/concealer to smoothe out my pores, blend in my nose, and pencil in eyebrows.
Blood red lips to look like they're puffed with blood, and blush to round out my cheekbones. Pull the hair tie, and
shake it out to drape over the corners of my jawline no amount of shading will make dissappear.
"Huh!"
I can barely afford my prescriptions, but it sure would be nice to get that nose job, shave my mastoid processes, and sculpt my cheekbones. Shifting the crotch of my underwear, might as well budjet a Nip, and Tuck while I'm dreaming.
"To the Bat-Closet!" Now, what do I want to wear? "Hm. No, wore that the other night, that's too loose in the bust." Hopefully I'll grow into it, but I suppose every disadvantage has some advantages. "Huh!"
I don't like any of it, but I got payed, and. I'm close enough on rent, when what i really want is That Dress. "Huhn!" That's why none of my wardrobe will do, I don't have it yet, and, I suppose. I do know, how I can afford it.
Turning tricks, I know it makes me a whore, and I accept that, but it's sex on my terms, and when. "well,"
I don't NEED the money, but I really want that dress.
"So!" The pseudo-wedgies. Shoes that look like 3" held, when they're actually hollowed out, so I can wiggle into them, and standing up. They do stretch up my calves up to the hem of.
This boring old dress, but it's something decent to wear to the shoppe, and then I know I can make the money back tonight.
Rent's not
Due due. "Snk! Doodoo."
As long as I can avoid the super, so climb out the window, Again.
And take the Fire Escape down. "Some heroine you make, Fawn. Can't even fly."
"Uph!" Heroin is more like it. The filthy alley, stepping over the litter of meth pipes, syringes, and used condoms. Kick some aside gently with a Dark Eyes bottle, and my heel, instead of the open toe.
Clink!
"There you are."
"Mwhn?"
"WH!"
I didn't even have to go patrolling? Drinking Virgin Mary's acting drunk, to stagger off to some dark alley.
He's been following me, but I relax. "Don't fight, if you don't want to get hurt."
"Snh." The grimy sleeve, camo, the bum I just tiptoed around. I didn't want to wake him, thankful for having a place to pay rent, a job so I don't have to hook, just make a little extra for that Dress.
"Fake ass titties." Squeezing the silicone padding so the real hormone grown flesh bulges out. His other hand slipping down.
"Hhuh! You don't have to hurt me, rape me."
"Shut up, whore!" So that's it? Their motives, every single one a mystery, man who does this because he hates me, and yet can't resist the attraction. "Tranny whore."
"Hm." Nodd. So, he knows, probably even climbed up the fire escape to watch me. "You don't have to pay me." Voice low and sultry. Deep, falsely to compensate for my tightened vocal cords.
"I said shut up!"
Swallow, silently against his glove. At my throat, but not squeezing, throttling me, crushing the blood to back up, and thud in my ear. Still gropeing, and crushing my breast.
"Snh!" Turning my face with his thumb, pressing my jaw, blinking out another jaw. Another motive. 'what do you want from me?'
Always something bad, pain, fear, humiliation. He doesn't love me, he hates me, wants to make hate to me, but what feedback will make him hard up against me. His hips in my buttocks, but no hardness. Not yet, the breast fondling isn't doing it. The tears, so try fear.
"inhm don't hurt me. Just do whatever you want to me. I'll do whatever you want, just please don't hurt me. Don't kill me, i don't want to die."
I lied. I always want to die, when I'm down here. In the dark, the cold filthy gutter, the arms of a cruel man, I always hope he will be the one. To finally do what i never could, crush the life out of me. he's a strangler, i bet. "AEIIING!" Nod, "Gh, khH!"
Yes, choke me. Strangle me, crush the life out of me.
I feel faint, but feint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f7tgprbjtg"Huh!"
"Huh?" He lets go, to hold me up. "Nmh!?"
"Snkh?" Snot suckes back up in my nostril, salty, and runny with tears, but he just puts me back on my heels.
"I don't want to hurt you."
He turns me around.
"Uhn!"
"Mhwh!"
"Snh!"
Oh, one of those. I understand these.
"Smooch!"
"Hahl!" His mouth twists, turns, greasy with my lipstick, and prying against my teeth with his tongue.
"Snh!" Morning breath, stale alcohol, coffee? Morning breath, but still now wood?"
He's wearing a cup, so I guess I'm glad I didn't try that heel shot behind me, between his legs when they bend their knees to pull down my undershorts, or get low enough to get under me, force it up into me.
"Smooch, huh!"
Staring into my eyes, deep brown eyes, and so flushed I can see it through the grime, and filth.
He's a stalker, like me.
"You want to come up?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
Only instead of following them home, I go out to their comfort zone. The other kind of men, the haters. Alley rapists, humiliators, that hate us for being sexy.
The copycats, this district is becoming known as Rape central, because of all the guys that read about it, and thought that was a good idea. A sure thing, with all the bars. Drunk chicks staggering off to fall down, wretching where they won't be seen in their shame, but he doesn't want to shame me. He wants to love me, following me now. by the hand, from the ladder. Back to the first steep set of steps.
Standing over him, he lifts my hand to hold it, kiss the back, gently just above the knuckles.
The romantic stalker, until his little bubble breaks. I hug him, feel up his strong arms, and kick up my heel. Feel the end of the step, and pushe on it. His shoulders.
"Uh!"
"Ghn!"
I go down. "Huh!"
"Snh!"
"Ah
hh
hh
WHG!"
"Huh!"
"Fuck!" Right in the nuts! "Sorry, fuckbag, nhm!" Pulling up weekly, on the railing he'd tumbled backward over. "I'm not interested."
He just layed there. Must have hit his head.
"Huh!"
Better go up, and call the police.
I wish I could, wear a cup. Unfortunately, that would show a bulge where I don't want one. I suppose, he got the worse out of the encounter.
"Nine One One, what's your Emergency?"
"Attempted rape. In the alley behind my building. I think he's unconscious, but he took a pretty bad fall. So, you should send an ambulance as well."
"Fawn?"
"Who's this?"
"Kalley."
"Oh, hey." try to remember, "How was your time off?"
"Wonderfully boring. Police, and Paramedics are on the way."
"Huh! Glad to hear it."
"You seeing anyone yet?"
"Huh! No, still looking." Stick my head out over the railing. "He's still there, still unconscious." Pick up my binoculars.
"He appears to bleeding now, but. There's a lot of broken glass down there."
"Well, I'm getting off, in a few hours. If you want to go out, for a drink?"
"Huh!" Nod, for no reason. "All right."
She's been bugging me for a date for weeks. "I'm going to need a shower."
"Well," she giggled, "I know where you live, so why don't i pick you up?"
I just hung up. I don't know all of the operators, but. Well, i don't know her, either. she knows me, what i do. I guess the proper term would be Vigilante, when really. i don't know what i am. What i get out of it, other than getting some satisfaction out of them
The men, the hateful men, who hate me for pretty. Just like the boys that used to beat me up, for being a pretty "Boy."
This one made it convenient. I'll give him that, and I should have brought him up. here, where i'd never let a man.
He knows about the fire escape, he stalked me, and. Did he break in?
"Huh!" I want to know, but not bad enough to go down, and check on him.
"I'm done." for tonight. He's just not my type. Ask me why i like violent abusive jerks. they hate me, just for being me, i really should hate them back, and i do get some sadistic pleasure out of beating them up. Sending them to Rape College, so they come back even angrier, and insecure in their sexuality, but.
Really, i don't understand them any better with each encounter. "Am i understanding myself?"
I just don't know if there's anything new to learn about this, but I've got my face off.
So, i can take a shower, and do it all again.
I really should be excited, to have a date.
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